Zamkatimu
Pamene sitikukhutira ndi khalidwe la munthu, chinthu choyamba chimene timafuna kuchita ndicho kutsitsa mkwiyo wathu wonse pa “wolakwa”yo. Timayamba kuimba mlandu wina wa machimo onse, ndipo chonyansacho chimalowa mumtundu watsopano. Akatswiri a zamaganizo amanena kuti zomwe zimatchedwa "I-mauthenga" zidzatithandiza kufotokoza bwino maganizo athu komanso kuti tisakhumudwitse wotsutsana nawo pamikangano yotere. Ndi chiyani icho?
"Wayiwalanso za lonjezo lako", "Nthawi zonse umachedwa", "Ndiwe wodzikonda, umangokhalira kuchita zomwe ukufuna" - sitinangonena mawu otere, komanso kuwamva akunenedwa kwa ife.
Pamene chinachake sichikuyenda mogwirizana ndi dongosolo lathu, ndipo munthu winayo sakuchita monga momwe ife tikanafunira, zikuwoneka kwa ife kuti mwa kuimba mlandu ndi kusonyeza zolakwa, tidzamuitanira ku chikumbumtima ndipo iye adziwongolera mwamsanga. Koma sizikugwira ntchito.
Ngati ife ntchito «Inu-mauthenga» - ife kuloza udindo wathu maganizo kwa interlocutor - iye mwachibadwa amayamba kudziteteza. Ali ndi malingaliro amphamvu akuti akuukiridwa.
Mukhoza kusonyeza interlocutor kuti muli ndi udindo maganizo anu.
Chotsatira chake, iye mwini amapita kukamenyana, ndipo mkangano umayamba, womwe ukhoza kukhala mkangano, ndipo mwinamwake ngakhale kusweka kwa ubale. Komabe, zotsatirazi zitha kupewedwa ngati tichoka panjira yolumikiziranayi kupita ku «I-mauthenga».
Mothandizidwa ndi njira iyi, mukhoza kusonyeza interlocutor kuti muli ndi udindo pakumverera kwanu, komanso kuti si iye mwini amene amayambitsa nkhawa yanu, koma zina mwazochita zake. Njirayi imawonjezera kwambiri mwayi wokambirana bwino.
Mauthenga a I amamangidwa motsatira malamulo anayi:
1. Lankhulani zakukhosi
Choyamba, m'pofunika kusonyeza kwa interlocutor zomwe tikukumana nazo pakali pano, zomwe zimasokoneza mtendere wathu wamkati. Izi zikhoza kukhala mawu monga "Ndakhumudwa", "Ndikudandaula", "Ndakhumudwa", "Ndikudandaula".
2. Kufotokoza zowona
Kenako timafotokoza mfundo imene inakhudza mkhalidwe wathu. Ndikofunika kukhala ndi zolinga monga momwe mungathere osati kuweruza zochita za anthu. Timangofotokoza zomwe zidatsogolera ku zotsatira zake ngati mawonekedwe akugwa.
Dziwani kuti ngakhale kuyambira ndi "I-message", panthawiyi timapita ku "You-message". Zitha kuwoneka motere: "Ndimakwiyitsidwa chifukwa simubwera pa nthawi yake," ndimakwiya chifukwa nthawi zonse mumakhala osokonezeka.
Kuti mupewe izi, ndi bwino kugwiritsa ntchito ziganizo zopanda munthu, matchulidwe osawerengeka komanso ma generalizations. Mwachitsanzo, "Ndimakhumudwa akachedwa", "Ndimamva chisoni pamene chipinda chili chodetsedwa."
3. Tikupereka kufotokoza
Kenako tiyenera kufotokoza chifukwa chake timakhumudwa ndi zimenezi. Choncho, zonena zathu sizidzawoneka zopanda pake.
Choncho, ngati wachedwa, mukhoza kunena kuti: «… chifukwa ndiyenera kuyima ndekha ndikuzizira» kapena «... chifukwa ndili ndi nthawi yochepa, ndipo ndikufuna kukhala ndi inu nthawi yaitali.
4. Timaonetsa chikhumbo
Pomaliza, tiyenera kunena kuti ndi khalidwe liti la mdani lomwe timaliona kukhala labwino. Tinene kuti: "Ndikufuna kuchenjezedwa ndikachedwa." Monga chotulukapo chake, m’malo mwa mawu akuti “Wachedwanso,” timapeza kuti: “Ndimada nkhaŵa pamene mabwenzi anga achedwa, chifukwa kwa ine kumawoneka ngati chinachake chawachitikira. Ndikufuna kuyimbira foni ndikachedwa."
Kumene, «Ine-mauthenga» mwina nthawi yomweyo kukhala mbali ya moyo wanu. Zimatenga nthawi kuti munthu asinthe kuchoka pa chizolowezi chake kupita ku chatsopano. Komabe, ndikofunikira kupitiliza kugwiritsa ntchito njirayi nthawi zonse pakachitika mikangano.
Ndi chithandizo chake, mukhoza kusintha kwambiri maubwenzi ndi mnzanu, komanso kuphunzira kumvetsetsa kuti maganizo athu ndi udindo wathu.
Kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi
Kumbukirani zimene zinachitika pamene munadandaula. Munagwiritsa ntchito mawu otani? Kodi zotsatira za zokambiranazo zinali zotani? Kodi zinali zotheka kumvetsetsana kapena kuti mkangano unayambika? Kenako ganizirani momwe mungasinthire Mauthenga Anu kukhala Mauthenga muzokambiranazi.
Zingakhale zovuta kupeza chinenero choyenera, koma yesani kupeza mawu omwe mungagwiritse ntchito pofotokozera zakukhosi kwanu popanda kuimba mlandu mnzanu.
Tangoganizirani interlocutor pamaso panu, kulowa udindo ndi kunena anakonza «I-mauthenga» mu zofewa, bata kamvekedwe. Ganizirani mmene mukumvera. Ndiyeno yesani kuchita luso m'moyo weniweni.
Mudzaona kuti makambitsirano anu adzathera mowonjezereka m’njira yolimbikitsa, osasiya mpata wa kuipidwa kuvulaza mkhalidwe wanu wamalingaliro ndi maunansi anu.