Zamkatimu
Aliyense amamenyana ndipo amakwiya nthawi zina. Koma zingakhale zovuta kupirira kupsa mtima ndi kupsa mtima kwa munthu wina, chifukwa nthawi zambiri sitimvetsa momwe tingayankhire mkwiyo umenewu. Katswiri wa zamaganizo Aaron Carmine akufotokoza chifukwa chake kuyesa kukhazika mtima pansi munthu wokwiya kumangowonjezera moto.
Timachita zinthu ndi zolinga zabwino kwambiri tikamapita kwa munthu mwaukali. Koma nthawi zambiri, palibe mikangano, kapena kuyesa kuseka, kuwopseza kwambiri, kumathandizira kuthana ndi vutoli ndikungokulitsa mkanganowo. Sitinaphunzire mmene tingachitire ndi mavuto oterowo, choncho timalakwitsa. Kodi tikulakwitsa chiyani?
1. Timatsimikizira kuti ndife osalakwa
“Kunena zoona, sindinachite zimenezo!” Mawu oterowo amapereka chithunzithunzi chakuti tikutcha mdaniyo kukhala wabodza ndipo tili m’chiyanjo chofuna kukangana. Sizokayikitsa kuti izi zithandizira kukhazika mtima pansi interlocutor. Vuto si amene ali ndi mlandu kapena wosalakwa. Sitili apandu, ndipo sitifunika kudzilungamitsa. Vuto ndilokuti wolankhulayo amakwiya, ndipo mkwiyowu umamupweteka. Ntchito yathu ndi kuichepetsa, osati kuikulitsa mwa kuyambitsa mikangano.
2. Kuyesera kuyitanitsa
“Wokondedwa, dzikoka pamodzi. Pezani pamodzi! Imani nthawi yomweyo! Safuna kumvera malamulo - amafuna kudzilamulira yekha. Ndi bwino kuganizira kwambiri kudziletsa. Ndi zowawa ndi zoipa osati kwa iye yekha. Ndife tokha amene tingamuletse kuti asatisokoneze.
3. Kuyesera kulosera zam’tsogolo
Moyo wathu tsopano ukulamuliridwa ndi munthu wina, ndipo tikuyesera kuthetsa vuto losasangalatsali mwa kuthaŵira m’tsogolo. Timapeza njira zongoyerekezera: “Ngati simusiya nthawi yomweyo, mudzakhala m’mavuto,” “Ndikusiyani,” “Ndiyitana apolisi.” Munthu angazindikire moyenerera mawu oterowo monga ziwopsezo, zamwano, kapena kuyesa kubwezera kuganiza kwathu kuti tilibe mphamvu. Sadzasangalatsidwa, zidzamupweteka kwambiri. Ndibwino kukhalabe pano.
4. Timayesa kudalira logic
Nthawi zambiri timalakwitsa kuyesa kupeza njira yothetsera mavuto amalingaliro: "Wokondedwa, khalani wololera, ganizirani mosamala." Tikulakwitsa, tikuyembekeza kuti aliyense angakopeke ngati pali zifukwa zamphamvu. Zotsatira zake, timangotaya nthawi pazofotokozera zomwe sizingabweretse phindu lililonse. Sitingathe kusonkhezera malingaliro ake ndi kulingalira kwathu.
5. Kumvetsa
Ndizopanda pake kuyesa kutsimikizira munthu mwaukali kuti amvetse zomwe zikuchitika ndikuzindikira zolakwa zawo. Tsopano amaona izi ngati kuyesa kumunyengerera ndikumugonjetsera ku chifuniro chathu, kapena kumupangitsa kuti aziwoneka wolakwika, ngakhale kuti "akudziwa" kuti "ndi wolondola", kapena kungomupangitsa kuti aziwoneka ngati wopusa.
6. Kumletsa kukwiya
"Mulibe ufulu wondikwiyira pambuyo pa zonse zomwe ndakuchitirani." Mkwiyo si "ubwino", ndi kutengeka. Chifukwa chake, mkanganowu ndi wopanda pake. Komanso, kulanda munthu ufulu kukwiya, inu potero devalue iye. Iye amachitengera icho mu mtima, inu kumupweteka iye.
Musaiwale kuti chifukwa chaching'ono chakuphulika, monga "Mwagwetsa galasi langa!", Ndi chifukwa chake chomwe chagona pamwamba. Ndipo pansi pake pali nyanja yonse ya ukali wochuluka, womwe kwa nthawi yayitali sunapatsidwe potulukira. Chifukwa chake, musayese kutsimikizira kuti wofunsayo akunenedwa kuti wakwiya chifukwa chachabechabe.
7. Kuyesera kukhala oseketsa
"Nkhope yanu inasanduka yofiira, yoseketsa kwambiri." Sichichita kalikonse kuchepetsa kukula kwa ukali. Mumanyoza munthuyo, mwa kusonyeza kuti simukuona kuti mkwiyo wake ndi waukulu. Kutengeka maganizo kumeneku kumamupweteka kwambiri, ndipo m’pofunika kusamala kwambiri. Osazimitsa moto ndi petulo. Nthawi zina nthabwala zimathandizira kuchepetsa malingaliro, koma osati muzochitika izi.