Kulekana ndi mnzathu kuli ngati opaleshoni: timadula mbali yofunika ya moyo wathu kwa ife tokha. N'zosadabwitsa kuti njirayi ndi yovuta komanso yopweteka. Koma kaŵirikaŵiri timakulitsa zokumana nazo zathu, akutero katswiri wa zamaganizo Susan Heitler.
Wothandizira wanga Stephanie adandiyimbira foni kuti andifunse mafunso mwachangu. “Sindingathenso kupirira! anafuula. “Ndinali ndi banja lovuta kwambiri. Koma kusudzulana kumandichititsa kuvutika kwambiri!”
Pa gawoli, ndinapempha Stephanie kuti apereke chitsanzo cha pamene khalidwe la mwamuna wa John "pafupifupi wakale" linamupangitsa kuti asokonezeke.
“Ndinapita kwawo kukatenga zinthu zanga. Ndipo sindinapeze zodzikongoletsera zanga, zomwe nthawi zonse ndimakhala nazo mu drowa yapamwamba ya bokosi la zotengera. Ndinamufunsa komwe angakhale. Ndipo sanayankhe nkomwe, anangogwedeza mapewa ake, amati, akanadziwa bwanji!
Ndinamufunsa mmene ankamvera panthawiyo.
“Akundilanga. Zinali choncho nthawi yonse imene tinali m’banja. Nthawi zonse ankandilanga.” Kuvutika kunamveka m'mawu ake.
Yankho limeneli linali mfungulo yomvetsetsa mkhalidwewo. Kuti ndiyese maganizo anga, ndinapempha Stephanie kuti akumbukire nkhani ina yofanana ndi imeneyi.
Zinalinso chimodzimodzi nditafunsa komwe chimbalecho chokhala ndi zithunzi zaubwana wanga, zomwe amayi adandipatsa. Ndipo adayankha mokwiya: "Ndidziwa bwanji?"
Nanga anatani atamva mawu a Yohane?
“Nthaŵi zonse amandipangitsa kudziona kuti ndine wosafunika, monga ngati nthaŵi zonse ndimachita zinthu zolakwika,” anadandaula motero. “Chotero ndinachita monga mwachizolowezi. Ndinadzimvanso wosweka mtima kwambiri kwakuti, nditafika m’nyumba yanga yatsopano, ndinagona pabedi ndi kugona wotopa tsiku lonse!”
Makhalidwe Amene Timakula Muukwati Amawonjezera Nkhawa Ndiponso Kupsinjika Maganizo
Kodi nchifukwa ninji zonse ziŵiri ndi mwamuna wake ndi chisudzulo zinali zowawa kwambiri kwa Stephanie?
Ukwati umakhala wovuta nthawi zonse. Njira yachisudzulo nayonso. Ndipo, monga lamulo, zomwe zimasokoneza moyo waukwati zimapangitsa kusudzulana kukhala kowawa.
Ndiroleni ndifotokoze zomwe ndikutanthauza. Ndithudi, kusudzulana kuli, kwenikweni, chinthu chowawa chimene tingachiyerekeze ndi opaleshoni yodula chiŵalo — timadzipatula kwa ife eni maunansi amene kale anali ofunika kwambiri kwa ife. Tiyenera kumanganso moyo wathu wonse. Ndipo pamenepa n’kosatheka, mwina mwa apo ndi apo, kuti tisamakhale ndi nkhaŵa, chisoni kapena mkwiyo.
Koma nthawi yomweyo, machitidwe omwe tapanga m'banja lovutali amakulitsa malingaliro athu, kumawonjezera nkhawa komanso kupsinjika maganizo.
Zimatengera zinthu zambiri, monga mayankho anu ku mafunso monga:
Kodi achibale ena amathandizira bwanji?
- Kodi pali china chake cholimbikitsa m'moyo wanu, chomwe chimakulolani kuti musayende mozungulira m'chisudzulo?
- Kodi inu ndi mnzanu "wapafupi" mwakonzeka kugwirizana kapena kukangana?
- Kodi kudzikonda ndi umbombo zili bwanji mwa inu kapena iye?
Zongopeka vs zenizeni
Koma tibwerere ku chitsanzo cha Stephanie. Kodi nchiyani kwenikweni chimene chinapangitsa unansi wake ndi mwamuna wake kukhala wowawa kwambiri ndipo nchiyani chimene chimamulepheretsa kupirira njira yachisudzulo lerolino? Izi ndi zinthu ziwiri zomwe nthawi zambiri ndimakumana nazo muzochita zanga zachipatala.
Choyamba ndi kutanthauzira molakwika khalidwe la munthu wina mothandizidwa ndi machitidwe omwe adapangidwa kale, ndipo chachiwiri ndi umunthu.
Kutanthauzira molakwika chifukwa cha malingaliro akale amatanthauza kuti kumbuyo kwa mawu a munthu mmodzi timamva mawu a munthu wina - amene poyamba anativutitsa.
Personalization kumatanthauza kuti timaona kuti zochita ndi zochita za munthu wina zimachokera ku akaunti yathu ndipo timaziona ngati uthenga woipa kwa ife kapena wa ife. Nthawi zina, izi ndi zoona, koma nthawi zambiri, kumvetsetsa khalidwe la munthu wina kumafuna nkhani zambiri.
Stephanie amawona khalidwe lopanda ubwenzi la mwamuna wake "pafupifupi wakale" monga chikhumbo chofuna kumulanga. Mbali yachibwana ya umunthu wake imagwirizana ndi mawu a John monga momwe anachitira ali ndi zaka 8 kwa abambo ake ankhanza pamene adamulanga.
Kuphatikiza apo, zikuwoneka kwa iye kuti ndi amene amakwiyitsa John. Pambuyo pa zongopekazi, Stephanie amasiya kuona zenizeni zenizeni. John ayenera kuti anali wachisoni kwambiri kuti mkazi wake anaganiza zomusiya, ndipo maganizo amenewa ndi amene angamukwiyitse.
Ganizirani zomwe mawu opweteka a mnzanuyo akunena za iwo eni, osati za inu.
Mu gawo lachiwiri, kukwiya kwa mawu a John kwa Stephanie kumatanthauza kuti amamuchepetsa. Koma ngati mufufuza mozama, mungamvetse kuti akumva mawu achipongwe a mchimwene wake wamkulu, amene muubwana wake anamusonyeza ukulu wake m’njira iliyonse.
Ndipo ngati tibwerera ku zenizeni, tidzawona kuti Yohane, mosiyana, akutenga malo otetezera. Zikuoneka kwa iye kuti sangathe kuchita chilichonse kuti asangalatse mkazi wake.
Pofotokoza masomphenya ake a mkhalidwewo, Stephanie mobwerezabwereza anagwiritsa ntchito mawu akuti "anandipangitsa kumva ...". Mawu amenewa ndi chizindikiro chofunika kwambiri. Ananena kuti:
a) wokambayo amatha kutanthauzira zomwe wamva kudzera muzochitika zakale: mawuwa angatanthauze chiyani pokhudzana ndi wina;
b) pali chinthu chamunthu pakutanthauzira, ndiko kuti, munthu amakonda kunena kuti chilichonse ndi akaunti yake.
Kodi mungachotse bwanji zizolowezi zoganiza zopanda phindu izi?
Langizo lalikulu kwambiri ndikulingalira zomwe mawu opweteka a munthu winayo akunena za iye mwini, osati za inu. John anamuyankha Stephanie mokwiya chifukwa anali wokhumudwa komanso wokhumudwa. Mawu ake "Ndikudziwa bwanji?" zimasonyeza mkhalidwe wake wotayika. Koma sikuti kungothetsa banja.
Pamene timasonyeza chifundo kwa anthu ena, timakhala amphamvu mkati mwathu.
Ndipotu, ngakhale m’banja, John sankadziwa zimene mkazi wake ankayembekezera kwa iye. Sanamvetsetse zonena zake, koma sanamufunse konse, sanayese kupeza zomwe amafuna. Anabwerera m'malingaliro ake oda nkhawa, omwe adakula msanga kukhala mkwiyo womwe unabisa chisokonezo chake.
Ndikufuna kunena chiyani ndi chitsanzo ichi? Ngati mukuyenera kuvutika chifukwa cha khalidwe la mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu m'moyo wabanja kapena kale mukusudzulana, musatanthauzire mawu ake ndi zochita zake, musatenge malingaliro anu kukhala enieni. Mufunseni mmene zinthu zililidi. Mukamvetsetsa bwino momwe mnzanu akumvera, m'pamenenso mudzawona zenizeni, osati zomwe zidapangidwa.
Ngakhale mutakhala ndi ubale wovuta komanso wosokoneza, yesani kubwereranso ku zenizeni ndikuchitira chifundo mnzanuyo. Kupatula apo, akhoza kukuyang'anani kudzera m'maubwenzi ake akale. Ndipo ali ndi malire ake, monganso inu. Tikamachitira chifundo anthu ena, timakhala amphamvu m’kati mwathu. Yesani ndikudziwonera nokha.