Zizindikiro 7 Zoti Musudzulana

Mavuto obwera chifukwa cha zovuta - kusintha kwa ntchito, kusuntha, kupsinjika kwa moyo, kuwonjezera pabanja - ndizosavuta kuthetsa. Koma ngati anyalanyazidwa, adzabweretsa mavuto aakulu kuchokera pamndandanda womwe uli pansipa. Zizindikirozi si chiweruzo cha chisudzulo. Malingana ngati nonse mukuyang'ana pa kusunga ubale, pali chiyembekezo.

1. Palibe mgwirizano m'moyo wogonana

Kugonana kawirikawiri si chifukwa chosudzulana. Zosokonekera zowopsa. Ngati mukufuna kugonana mochuluka kapena mocheperapo kuposa wokondedwa wanu, mavuto amadza. M’zochitika zina zonse, zilibe kanthu zimene ena achita kapena osachita. Chinthu chachikulu ndi chakuti inu ndi mnzanuyo muli okondwa. Ngati palibe psychosexual kapena zotsutsana zachipatala mwa awiriwa, kusowa kwa kugonana nthawi zambiri kumawonetsa mavuto akuya muubwenzi.

2. Simumasonkhana kawirikawiri

Madeti amadzulo ndi chinthu chosankha cha pulogalamuyo. Kungoti simuli pachibwenzi sizitanthauza kuti chibwenzicho chitha. Komabe, kuthera nthawi pamodzi n’kofunika. Mutha kupita koyenda, kuwonera makanema kapena kuphika limodzi. Mwa izi mumauza mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu kuti: "Ndinu wofunika kwa ine." Apo ayi, mungakhale pachiopsezo chochoka kwa wina ndi mzake. Ngati mulibe nthawi yocheza, simudziwa zomwe zikuchitika ndi mnzanuyo. Mukamaliza kutaya ubwenzi wapamtima womwe umakupangitsani kukhala okondana.

3. Osayamikira okondedwa anu

Kuyamikira wina ndi mzake ndi kuyamikira n'kofunika mofanana. Ngati makhalidwewa atha kapena kulibe poyamba, mudzakhala m'mavuto aakulu. Sizinthu zazikulu zomwe zimafunikira, koma zizindikiro zazing'ono za tsiku ndi tsiku. Uzani mwamuna wanu kuti, “Ndimayamikira kwambiri kuti mumagwira ntchito molimbika kwambiri kaamba ka banjalo,” kapena mungompangira kapu ya tiyi.

Akatswiri a zamaganizo ku Gottman Institute omwe amagwiritsa ntchito chithandizo cha mabanja apeza "4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse" omwe ndi ofunikira kudziwa. Akatswiri a zamaganizo amatchera khutu ku zizindikiro izi panthawi ya chithandizo, ndizofanana ndi mabanja omwe ali ndi mavuto aakulu. Kuti athetse mavutowa, okwatirana ayenera kuvomereza ndi kuyesetsa kuwathetsa.

4. Mudzudzule mnzanu

Kudzudzulidwa pafupipafupi kwa mnzanu kumawonedwa ngati chipongwe chaumwini. Pakapita nthawi, izi zimabweretsa mkwiyo ndi mkwiyo.

5. Onetsani kunyoza wokondedwa wanu

Kuthana ndi vutoli ndizovuta, koma ndizotheka. Mudzafunika kuzizindikira, kuzivomereza, ndi kukonzekera kuzikwaniritsa. Ngati m'modzi mwa okondedwawo nthawi zonse amayang'ana mnzake pansi, samaganizira malingaliro ake, amanyoza, mwachipongwe komanso amasiya ma barbs, wachiwiri amayamba kudziona kuti ndi wosayenera. Nthawi zambiri kunyozedwa kumabwera pambuyo potaya ulemu.

6. Osavomera zolakwa zanu

Ngati okondedwa sangagwirizane chifukwa mmodzi kapena onse asintha khalidwe lodzitchinjiriza, ili ndi vuto. Simudzamverana wina ndi mzake ndipo pamapeto pake mudzataya chidwi. Kulankhulana ndiye chinsinsi chothandizira kuthana ndi vuto lililonse laubwenzi. Khalidwe lodzitchinjiriza limabweretsa kufunafuna olakwa. Aliyense amakakamizika kudziteteza ndi kuukira: "Inu munachita izi" - "Inde, koma munachita izo." Mumakwiya, ndipo zokambirana zimasanduka nkhondo.

Muli otanganidwa kwambiri kudziteteza kuti mumayiwala kuthetsa vuto lenileni. Kuti mutuluke m’gulu loipali, muyenera kuima, kuyang’ana mkhalidwewo kumbali, kupatsana mpata ndi nthaŵi yolankhula ndi kumveka.

7. Kunyalanyaza Mavuto

Mmodzi mwa okwatiranawo amachoka, amakana kukambirana ndi wachiwiri ndipo salola kuti vutoli lithe. Nthawi zambiri sitifuna kumva zimene zikunenedwa kwa ife chifukwa choopa kuvomereza vuto, kumva choonadi, kapena kuopa kuti sitingathe kulithetsa. Panthaŵi imodzimodziyo, wokwatirana naye wachiwiriyo akuyesera kuti alankhule. Angathenso kuyambitsa ndewu kuti woyambirira achitepo kanthu. Chifukwa cha zimenezi, anthu amadzipeza ali m’malo oipa. Munthu amene amanyalanyazidwa amaopa mkangano uliwonse, kuti asayambitsenso kunyanyala. Pambuyo pake, chiyembekezo cha kubwezeretsedwa kwa ubale chimatha.

Gwero: Guardian