Zamkatimu
“Zimene timakumana nazo tikakhala m’chikondi zingakhale zachibadwa. "Chikondi chimasonyeza munthu zomwe ayenera kukhala," analemba Chekhov. "Chikondi chimayamba ndi mfundo yakuti munthu amadzinyenga yekha, ndipo amatha ndi mfundo yakuti amanyenga wina," Wilde sanagwirizane naye. Ndiye ndi chiyani - kubwerera ku zabwinobwino kapena kugwidwa kokoma kwa zinyengo? Sayansi siyankha funso limeneli. Koma zimadziwika kuti ndi magawo ati pamene kutengeka mtima ndi munthu wina kumagawanika.
Chikondi chachikondi chadziwika kuyambira kalekale, akatswiri afilosofi ankalankhula za izo ndipo olemba ndakatulo ankalemba ndakatulo. Chikondi sichimamvera malamulo a kulingalira ndi kulingalira, chimatha kutikweza pamwamba pa chisangalalo ndiyeno kutigwetsa mu phompho la kutaya mtima pazifukwa zosafunika kwenikweni.
Nthawi zambiri timayamba kukondana popanda kukonzekera, ndipo nthawi zambiri anzathu ndi achibale sangamvetse chifukwa chake tinakondana ndi munthu ameneyu.
“Komabe, sayansi pang’onopang’ono ikumvetsa zinsinsi za kuyamba kukondana, monga mmene inafotokozera zinthu zambiri zachilengedwe zimene poyamba zinkaoneka ngati zosayembekezereka komanso zosamvetsetseka,” anatero katswiri wa zamaganizo Lucy Brown.
Kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti njira yokondana nthawi zambiri imakhala ndi magawo asanu ndi awiri.
1. Chiyambi cha kumverera
Kugwa m'chikondi kumabadwa panthawi yomwe munthu mwadzidzidzi amapeza tanthauzo lapadera kwambiri kwa inu. Ndipo zilibe kanthu kuti munamudziwa zaka zambiri m’mbuyomo kapena munakumana naye maola angapo apitawo, maganizo anu onse tsopano akuyang’ana pa iye. Kaya mukufuna kapena ayi, mwayamba kale kukondana.
2. Maganizo opyola malire
Malingaliro anu oyambilira okhudza chikondi amalowera mkati. Mumabwereza zokambiranazo mobwerezabwereza m'mutu mwanu, kumbukirani momwe adavalira usiku womwewo, kapena kusilira kumwetulira kwake.
Mukamawerenga buku, mumadabwa ngati angakonde. Ndipo angakupangitseni bwanji kuthetsa vuto lanu ndi abwana anu? Msonkhano uliwonse ndi munthu uyu, modzidzimutsa kapena wokonzekera, umakhala chochitika chofunikira kwa inu, chomwe mumakumbukira ndikusanthula.
Poyamba, maganizo amenewa amangochitika mwa apo ndi apo, koma m’kupita kwa nthawi amakhala otengeka maganizo. Anthu ambiri amaganiza za wokondedwa wawo 85% mpaka 100% ya nthawiyo. Nthawi zambiri malingaliro awa samasokoneza moyo watsiku ndi tsiku, amangopanga maziko osangalatsa. Koma nthawi zina amatha kusokoneza maganizo anu kwambiri moti amayamba kusokoneza ntchito kapena kuphunzira.
3. Kupanga chithunzi chomveka bwino
Amakhulupirira kuti okonda idealize chinthu cha chikondi chawo, osati kuzindikira zofooka zake. Koma kafukufuku akusonyeza kuti zimenezi si zoona kwenikweni. Pa gawo lachitatu la kugwa m'chikondi, mumapanga lingaliro lomveka bwino osati za ubwino wa mnzanu, komanso zofooka zake. Amasiya kukhala kwa inu ngati cholengedwa chamatsenga, mumamvetsetsa kuti uyu ndi munthu wamba wamoyo. Komabe, mumakonda kupeputsa zophophonya zake kapena kuziwona ngati zokongola.
4. Kukopa, chiyembekezo ndi kusatsimikizika
Mukakhala ndi lingaliro lomveka bwino la chinthu chachikondi, mumayamba kukopeka kwambiri ndi iye, mumakhala ndi chiyembekezo komanso osatsimikiza, ndikuyembekeza kuyamba naye chibwenzi.
Chilichonse chomwe chimachitika pakati panu chimayambitsa malingaliro amphamvu: kuvomereza pang'ono kumbali yake - ndipo zikuwoneka kwa inu kuti malingaliro anu ndi ogwirizana, kutsutsidwa kofatsa kumakupangitsani kutaya mtima, ndipo ngakhale kupatukana kwachidule kumayambitsa nkhawa. Mwatsimikiza mtima kuthana ndi zopinga zilizonse panjira ya chikondi.
5. Hypomania
Nthawi zina, mungakhale ndi vuto lotchedwa hypomania. Mudzamva kuwonjezeka kwa mphamvu, kusowa kwanu kwa chakudya ndi kugona kudzachepa kwa kanthawi. Koma zotsatira zake zimakhalanso zotheka - kunjenjemera, kunjenjemera, chibwibwi, kutuluka thukuta, kugunda kwa mtima, kusayenda bwino.
6. Nsanje ndi chisonkhezero champhamvu kuchitapo kanthu
Muli ndi chikhumbo chokulirakulira chofuna kukondedwa ndi munthu uyu. Nsanje yopanda nzeru imayamba, mumayamba "kusunga" chinthu chachikondi chanu, kuyesera kukankhira omwe mungathe kupikisana nawo. Mumaopa kukanidwa, ndipo panthawi imodzimodziyo mukugonjetsedwa ndi chikhumbo champhamvu chokhala ndi wokondedwa wanu.
7. Kudzimva wopanda chochita
Mwinamwake panthaŵi ina malingaliro anu amphamvu adzaloŵedwa m’malo ndi kudzimva wopanda chochita kotheratu. Poyamba mukhoza kukhumudwa, koma pang'onopang'ono zilakolako zowonongeka zidzayamba kufooka, ndipo inu nokha mudzadabwa kuti munachita zinthu mopanda nzeru.
Mwinamwake mukufunadi kumanga ubale ndi munthu uyu, koma mukumvetsa kale kuti izi siziyenera kuchitika. Mumapezanso luso loganiza bwino komanso kuchita zinthu mwanzeru.
"N'zochititsa chidwi kuti ngakhale kuti nthawi zambiri timakonda anthu omwe timawaona kuti ndi okongola, kugonana kumachita mbali yochepa kwambiri pano," akufotokoza motero Lucy Brown. - Inde, tikufuna kupanga chikondi ndi munthu uyu, koma timalakalaka ubwenzi wapamtima kwambiri. Koposa zonse, timafuna kuyimba foni, kulemberana makalata komanso kucheza ndi munthuyu.
Za wolemba: Lucy Brown ndi katswiri wazokhudza ubongo.