Makolo achikondi amafuna kuti ana awo akhale anthu ochita bwino komanso odzidalira. Koma tingakulitse bwanji makhalidwe amenewa mwa iwo? Mtolankhaniyo anapunthwa pa phunziro losangalatsa ndipo anaganiza zoyesera pa banja lake lomwe. Izi ndi zomwe iye ali nazo.
Sindinkakonda kukambirana za kumene agogo anga anakumana komanso mmene anakhalira ubwana wawo. Mpaka tsiku lina ndinapeza phunziro la 1990s.
Akatswiri a zamaganizo, Marshall Duke ndi Robin Fivush a ku yunivesite ya Emory ku United States anachita kafukufuku ndipo anapeza kuti ana akamadziwa zambiri zokhudza mmene anayambira, maganizo awo amakhala okhazikika, amakhala odzidalira komanso amadzidalira kwambiri.
"Nkhani za achibale zimapatsa mwanayo mwayi womva mbiri ya banja, kupanga kugwirizana ndi mibadwo ina," ndinawerenga mu phunziroli. — Ngakhale atakhala ndi zaka zisanu ndi zinayi zokha, amamva kugwirizana ndi anthu amene anakhalako zaka zana limodzi zapitazo, amakhala mbali ya umunthu wake. Kupyolera mu mgwirizano uwu, mphamvu zamaganizo ndi kulimba mtima zimakula. "
Chabwino, zotsatira zabwino. Ndinaganiza zoyesa mafunso a asayansi pa ana anga omwe.
Iwo anapirira mosavuta funso lakuti “Kodi mukudziwa kumene makolo anu anakulira?” Koma anakhumudwa ndi agogo. Kenako tinasamukira ku funso lakuti "Kodi mukudziwa kumene makolo anu anakumana?". Apanso, panalibe zomenyera, ndipo mtunduwo unakhala wachikondi kwambiri: "Mudawona abambo pagulu la anthu ku bar, ndipo chinali chikondi poyang'ana koyamba."
Koma pa msonkhano wa agogo kachiwiri anaima. Ndinamuuza kuti makolo a mwamuna wanga anakumana pa gule ku Bolton, ndipo bambo anga ndi amayi anakumana pa msonkhano wothetsa zida za nyukiliya.
Pambuyo pake, ndidafunsa Marshall Duke, "Kodi zili bwino ngati mayankho ena amakongoletsedwa pang'ono?" Zilibe kanthu, akutero. Chinthu chachikulu ndi chakuti makolo amagawana mbiri ya banja, ndipo ana akhoza kunena chinachake za izo.
Komanso: “Kodi mukudziwa zimene zinkachitika m’banjamo pamene inu (ndi abale anu kapena alongo anu) munabadwa?” Wamkulu anali wamng'ono kwambiri pamene amapasa anaonekera, koma anakumbukira kuti iye anawatcha «pinki mwana» ndi «buluu mwana».
Ndipo nditangopuma pang'ono, mafunso adakhala ovuta. “Kodi ukudziwa kumene makolo ako ankagwira ntchito ali aang’ono?”
Mwana wamkulu nthawi yomweyo anakumbukira kuti bambo anapereka nyuzipepala pa njinga, ndi mwana wamkazi wamng'ono kuti ndinali woperekera zakudya, koma sindinali bwino (Ine nthawi zonse anakhetsa tiyi ndi kusokoneza mafuta adyo ndi mayonesi). "Ndipo mukamagwira ntchito m'malo ogulitsira, mumakangana ndi wophika, chifukwa panalibe mbale imodzi yokha, ndipo alendo onse adakumvani."
Ndinamuuzadi? Kodi akufunikadi kudziwa? Inde, akutero Duke.
Ngakhale nkhani zopusa za ubwana wanga zimawathandiza: kotero amaphunzira momwe achibale awo adagonjetsa zovuta.
“Kaŵirikaŵiri chowonadi chosakondweretsa chimabisidwa kwa ana, koma kulankhula za zinthu zoipa kungakhale kofunika kwambiri kukulitsa chilimbikitso m’maganizo kuposa zabwino,” akutero Marshall Duke.
Pali mitundu itatu ya mbiri ya banja:
- Pakudzuka: "Tapeza chilichonse popanda kanthu."
- Pakugwa: "Tataya chilichonse."
- Ndipo njira yopambana kwambiri ndi "kugwedezeka" kuchokera kudera lina kupita ku lina: "Tinali ndi zokwera ndi zotsika."
Ndinakulira ndi mtundu wotsiriza wa nkhani, ndipo ndimakonda kuganiza kuti ana adzakumbukiranso nkhanizi. Mwana wanga wamwamuna amadziŵa kuti agogo ake aamuna anakhala ogwira ntchito m’migodi ali ndi zaka 14, ndipo mwana wanga wamkazi amadziŵa kuti agogo a agogo ake aakazi anapita kukagwira ntchito akali wachinyamata.
Ndikumvetsetsa kuti tikukhala m’chowonadi chosiyana kotheratu lerolino, koma izi n’zimene katswiri wosamalira mabanja Stephen Walters akunena: “Ulusi umodzi umakhala wofooka, koma ukakulukidwa kukhala chinthu chachikulu, chogwirizanitsidwa ndi ulusi wina, umakhala wovuta kwambiri kuudula. ” Umu ndi momwe timamvera mwamphamvu.
Duke akukhulupirira kuti kukambirana masewero a m'banja kungakhale maziko abwino ochitira makolo ndi ana zaka za nthawi yogona zikadutsa. "Ngakhale ngwazi ya m'nkhaniyi sakhalanso ndi moyo, tikupitilizabe kuphunzira kwa iye."
Za wolemba: Rebecca Hardy ndi mtolankhani wokhala ku London.