Amakhulupirira kuti ndi cholakwika chilichonse timapeza chidziwitso ndi nzeru. Koma kodi zilidi choncho? Psychoanalyst Andrey Rossokhin amalankhula za stereotype "phunzirani ku zolakwa" ndikutsimikizira kuti zomwe mwapeza sizingateteze ku zolakwika mobwerezabwereza.
“Anthu amakonda kulakwitsa zinthu. Koma wopusa yekha amaumirira kulakwitsa kwake” - Lingaliro ili la Cicero, lopangidwa cha m'ma 80 BC, limalimbikitsa chiyembekezo chachikulu: ngati tikufuna chinyengo kuti tikule ndikupita patsogolo, ndiye kuti titayika!
Ndipo tsopano makolo amalimbikitsa mwana yemwe adalandira deuce kuti asachite homuweki: "Izi zikhale phunziro kwa inu!" Ndipo tsopano manijala akutsimikizira antchito kuti akuvomereza kulakwa kwake ndipo ali wotsimikiza kuwongolera. Koma tiyeni tinene zoona: ndani wa ife amene sanachitepo kuponda pa chokwanga chomwecho mobwerezabwereza? Ndi angati anakwanitsa kusiya chizoloŵezi choipa kamodzi kokha? Mwinamwake kusowa kwa kufunitsitsa ndiko kulakwa?
Lingaliro lakuti munthu amakula mwa kuphunzira pa zolakwa ndi losokeretsa ndi lowononga. Zimapereka lingaliro losavuta kwambiri lachitukuko chathu monga kuchoka ku kupanda ungwiro kupita ku ungwiro. M'lingaliro ili, munthu ali ngati robot, dongosolo lomwe, malingana ndi kulephera komwe kwachitika, likhoza kukonzedwa, kusinthidwa, kukhazikitsa ndondomeko zolondola. Zimaganiziridwa kuti dongosololi ndi kusintha kulikonse limagwira ntchito bwino kwambiri, ndipo pali zolakwika zochepa.
M'malo mwake, mawu awa amakana dziko lamkati la munthu, kusazindikira kwake. Pambuyo pake, kwenikweni, sitikusuntha kuchoka ku zoipa kupita ku zabwino kwambiri. Tikuyenda - kufunafuna matanthauzo atsopano - kuchokera ku mikangano kupita ku mikangano, yomwe ili yosapeŵeka.
Tiyerekeze kuti munthu wachita zinthu mwaukali m’malo momumvera chisoni n’kumada nkhawa nazo, poganiza kuti walakwa. Sakumvetsa kuti panthawiyo anali asanakonzekere china chilichonse. Umenewu unali mkhalidwe wa chidziwitso chake, momwemonso zinali mlingo wa mphamvu zake (pokhapokha, ndithudi, chinali sitepe yozindikira, yomwenso sitingatchule kuti kulakwitsa, m'malo mwake, nkhanza, chigawenga).
Zonse zakunja ndi zamkati zikusintha nthawi zonse, ndipo ndizosatheka kuganiza kuti zomwe zidachitika mphindi zisanu zapitazo zidzakhalabe zolakwika.
Ndani akudziwa chifukwa chake munthu amaponda pamsana womwewo? Zifukwa zambiri zimakhala zotheka, kuphatikizapo kufuna kudzivulaza, kudzutsa chisoni munthu wina, kapena kutsimikizira chinachake - kwa iwe mwini kapena kwa wina. Chavuta ndi chiyani apa? Inde, tiyenera kuyesetsa kumvetsa chimene chimatipangitsa kuchita zimenezi. Koma kuyembekezera kupewa zimenezi m’tsogolo n’kwachilendo.
Moyo wathu si "Tsiku la Groundhog", komwe mungathe, mutalakwitsa, konzani, mukupeza nokha panthawi yomweyi pakapita nthawi. Zonse zakunja ndi zamkati zikusintha nthawi zonse, ndipo ndizosatheka kuganiza kuti zomwe zidachitika mphindi zisanu zapitazo zidzakhalabe zolakwika.
Ndizomveka kuti tisalankhule za zolakwa, koma za zochitika zomwe timadziunjikira ndikuzisanthula, pamene tikuzindikira kuti muzochitika zatsopano, zosinthidwa, sizingakhale zothandiza mwachindunji. Nanga nchiyani chomwe chikutipatsa ife chochitika ichi?
Kutha kusonkhanitsa mphamvu zanu zamkati ndikuchita zinthu mukamalumikizana mwachindunji ndi ena komanso nokha, zokhumba zanu ndi malingaliro anu. Ndi kukhudzana kwamoyo kumeneku komwe kungalole sitepe ina iliyonse ndi mphindi ya moyo - yogwirizana ndi zomwe zinachitikira - kuzindikira ndi kuyesanso mwatsopano.