Intaneti ili ndi nkhani zovuta kukhala ndi «poizoni» anthu ndi mafunso ngati angasinthidwe. Elena Sokolova, Dokotala wa Psychology, katswiri wa matenda a umunthu, amagawana maganizo ake.
Choyamba, ndiloleni ndikukumbutseni: musazindikire achibale. Izi zitha kuchitika ndi dokotala. Ntchito ya psychotherapist ndi maphunziro a zachipatala ndi psychoanalytic ndi kulingalira nkhani iliyonse payekha ndikuyesera kumvetsetsa kuti ndi munthu wotani yemwe ali patsogolo pake, momwe umunthu wake umakonzedwera. Ndiko kuti, kudzipangira matenda.
Chinthu chimodzi ndi chodziwikiratu: kukula kwa zotheka kusintha kwambiri zimadalira dongosolo la umunthu, pa kuya kwa kuphwanya. Munthu wokhwima, ngakhale ndi makhalidwe ena neurotic, ndi wodwala malire kapena narcissistic munthu bungwe ndi anthu osiyana kotheratu. Ndipo awo «zone of proximal chitukuko» ndi osiyana. Kwa mbali zambiri, timatha kuona zolakwika m’makhalidwe athu, kuzindikira kuti chinachake chalakwika ndi ife, kupempha thandizo, ndiyeno kulabadira mwamsanga chithandizochi.
Koma anthu omwe ali ndi malire komanso bungwe la narcissistic, monga lamulo, sadziwa mavuto awo. Ngati ali ndi chirichonse chokhazikika, ndi kusakhazikika. Ndipo imakhudza mbali zonse za moyo.
Choyamba, amakumana ndi vuto lalikulu pakuwongolera malingaliro (amakhala ndi zachiwawa, zovuta kuzilamulira). Kachiwiri, iwo ndi osakhazikika kwambiri mu maubwenzi.
Kumbali imodzi, ali ndi chikhumbo chodabwitsa cha maubwenzi apamtima (ali okonzeka kumamatira kwa aliyense), ndipo kumbali ina, amakhala ndi mantha osadziwika bwino ndi chilakolako chothawa, kusiya maubwenzi. Amalukidwa kuchokera kumitengo komanso monyanyira. Ndipo gawo lachitatu ndikulephera kupanga lingaliro lokhazikika komanso lokhazikika la wekha. Ndikaduka. Mukamufunsa munthu woteroyo kuti adzifotokoze yekha, anganene kuti: "Amayi akuganiza kuti ndili ndi luso mu sayansi yeniyeni."
Koma kuphwanya konseku sikumawadetsa nkhawa, chifukwa amakhala osakhudzidwa ndi mayankho. Munthu wokhwima amatha kuwongolera khalidwe lake chifukwa cha mauthenga akunja - kulankhulana tsiku ndi tsiku komanso pokumana ndi zochitika zosiyanasiyana za moyo. Ndipo palibe chimene chimawatumikira monga phunziro. Ena akhoza kuwawonetsa: mukupweteka, n'zovuta kukhala pafupi ndi inu, simukudzivulaza nokha, komanso okondedwa anu. Koma zikuwoneka kwa iwo kuti mavuto sali nawo, koma ndi ena. Chifukwa chake zovuta zonse.
Zovuta koma zotheka
Kugwira ntchito ndi anthu oterowo kuyenera kukhala kwanthawi yayitali komanso kozama, sikumangotanthauza kukhwima kwa psychotherapist, komanso chidziwitso chake chabwino cha psychology ndi psychoanalysis. Kupatula apo, tikukamba za makhalidwe okhwima omwe adayamba kale, ali akhanda. Kuphwanya kwina kwa ubale pakati pa khanda ndi mayi kumakhala kowononga. Mu zikhalidwe za «olumala chilengedwe» ndi anomalous khalidwe aumbike. Kusokonezeka koyambirira kumeneku kumachepetsa kuthekera kosintha. Osayembekeza kuwongolera mwachangu.
Odwala omwe ali ndi malire a narcissistic bungwe amakana chikoka chamtundu uliwonse, ndizovuta kuti akhulupirire psychotherapist. Madokotala amanena kuti ali ndi kusamvera bwino (kuchokera ku kutsata kwa odwala ku Chingerezi), ndiko kuti, kutsata chithandizo chamankhwala, kutha kukhulupirira dokotala ndikutsatira malangizo ake. Iwo ali pachiopsezo kwambiri ndipo sangathe kupirira kukhumudwa. Amaona chilichonse chatsopano kukhala chowopsa.
Kodi ndi zotulukapo zotani zimene zingapezekebe m’ntchito yotero? Ngati wothandizira ali ndi kuleza mtima kokwanira ndi chidziwitso, ndipo wodwalayo akuwona kuti akufunadi kumuthandiza, ndiye kuti pang'onopang'ono zilumba zina za ubale zimamangidwa. Iwo amakhala maziko a kusintha kwina kwakumverera, m'makhalidwe. Palibe chida china pamankhwala. Musamayembekezere kusintha kwakukulu. Muyenera kugwira ntchito pang'onopang'ono, pang'onopang'ono, ndikuwonetsa wodwalayo kuti zowongolera, ngakhale zazing'ono, zikukwaniritsidwa pa gawo lililonse.
Mwachitsanzo, wodwalayo kwa nthawi yoyamba adatha kupirira mtundu wina wa zikhumbo zowononga, kapena kupita kwa dokotala, zomwe sizinali zotheka kale. Ndipo iyi ndiyo njira ya machiritso.
Njira Yosinthira Machiritso
Kodi mungapereke malangizo otani kwa mabanja ndi mabwenzi a anthu amene ali ndi vuto la umunthu? Nanga bwanji amene sali okonzeka kuthetsa chibwenzicho n’kusiya?
Ngati mumayamikira ubale wanu, yesetsani kusaimba mlandu wina aliyense, koma ganizirani mosamala kuyanjana kwanu, ndipo choyamba, tembenukirani kwa inu nokha, zolinga zanu ndi zochita zanu. Izi sizitanthauza kuimba mlandu wozunzidwayo. Ndikofunikira kukumbukira njira yodzitchinjiriza yamaganizidwe ngati chiwonetsero - aliyense ali nacho. Kachitidwe kameneka kamapangitsa zinthu zosasangalatsa za khalidwe la munthu - kudzikonda, kapena nkhanza, kapena kufunikira kwa utsogoleri - kuti ziwonetsedwe kwa wokondedwa.
Choncho, tikamaimba mlandu munthu wonyenga, ndi bwino kudzifunsa kuti: Kodi ine ndekha ndimalankhulana bwanji ndi anthu ena? Kodi ndimawatenga ngati ogula? Mwina ndine wokonzeka kukhala ndi chibwenzi chomwe chimandipangitsa kudzidalira kapena chikhalidwe changa? Kodi ndimayesa kumvetsetsa munthu winayo ndikawona ngati akumenya? Kusintha kumeneku kwa kaimidwe, chifundo ndi kukana kwapang’onopang’ono kudzikonda kumatitheketsa kumvetsetsa bwino za winayo, kutenga malo ake ndi kumva kusakhutira kwake ndi ululu umene tingam’bweretsere mosadziŵa. Ndipo anatiyankha.
Pambuyo pa ntchito yamkati yotereyi ndizotheka kukambirana za kumvetsetsana, osati kudziimba mlandu nokha kapena wina. Udindo wanga sunakhazikitsidwe pazaka zambiri zoyeserera, komanso pakufufuza kwakukulu kwamalingaliro. Kunena kuti kusintha munthu wina n'kopanda phindu. Njira yochiritsira kusintha kwa maubale ndikudzisintha.