Kodi nsanje ikhoza kukhala malingaliro abwino?

Mukuyembekezera kukwezedwa tsiku ndi tsiku. Mwachita zambiri kuti zinthu zichitike: kutsatira malingaliro onse a abwana anu ndikuwongolera zonse zomwe mungathe kuchita bwino pantchito yanu, kukhala mochedwa ku ofesi ndikubwera kudzagwira ntchito kumapeto kwa sabata. Ndipo tsopano pali ntchito ya utsogoleri. Mukudziwa kuti ndi inu amene mudzasankhidwa - palibenso wina.

Koma bwanayo mwadzidzidzi akulengeza kuti wasankha kusankha Mark, mnzako wamng'ono, pa udindo umenewu. Chabwino, ndithudi, Mark uyu nthawizonse amawoneka ngati nyenyezi ya ku Hollywood, ndipo lilime lake limayimitsidwa. Wina ngati iye adzalodza aliyense. Koma adalowa nawo kampaniyi posachedwa ndipo sanagwire ntchito molimbika ngati inu. Muyenera kukwezedwa ndalama, osati iye.

Sikuti mumangokhumudwa kuti simunasankhidwe kukhala utsogoleri, komanso mumadana kwambiri ndi Mark, zomwe simukuzidziwa kale. Mukukwiya kuti adapeza zomwe mudalota kwa nthawi yayitali. Ndipo mumayamba kuuza anzanu zinthu zosasangalatsa za Mark ndikulota tsiku lonse momwe mungamuchotsere pachimake m'malo mogwira ntchito.

Kodi nsanje imachokera kuti?

Kaduka ndi chikhalidwe chovuta. Zimayamba ndi kuzindikira kuti wina ali ndi chinthu chamtengo wapatali chomwe mulibe. Kuzindikira kumeneku kumayendera limodzi ndi kumva kowawa komanso kosasangalatsa.

Kuchokera ku lingaliro lachisinthiko, zimatipatsa ife chidziwitso cha chikhalidwe chathu ndipo zimatilimbikitsa kuwongolera malowa. Ngakhale nyama zina zimatha kuchitira nsanje kwambiri anthu omwe akuchita bwino kwambiri.

Koma nsanje ili ndi mbali yoipa. M’malo moika maganizo athu pa zimene tikufuna, timaganizira zimene tikusowa ndipo timakwiyira amene ali nazo. Kaduka amawononga kawiri, chifukwa amatipangitsa kuti tisamangodzimvera chisoni, komanso kukhala ndi malingaliro opanda chifundo kwa anthu omwe sanalakwitse ife.

Kaduka wanjiru komanso wothandiza

Mwamwambo, nsanje yakhala ikuonedwa ndi atsogoleri achipembedzo, anthanthi ndi akatswiri a zamaganizo monga choipa kotheratu chimene chiyenera kumenyedwa kufikira chiwombolo chotheratu. Koma m’zaka zaposachedwapa, akatswiri a zamaganizo ayamba kulankhula za mbali yake yowala. Iye ndi wolimbikitsa kwambiri kusintha kwaumwini. Kaduka “yothandiza” yoteroyo ndi yosiyana ndi kaduka yovulaza, imene imatichititsa kuvulaza munthu amene watiposa pa chinachake.

Mark atapeza ntchito yomwe umalakalaka, n’zachibadwa kuti nsanje inakula poyamba. Koma mukhoza kuchita mosiyana. Mukhoza kugonja ku «zovulaza» nsanje ndi kuganizira mmene kuika Mark m'malo mwake. Kapena mutha kugwiritsa ntchito kaduka kothandiza ndikudzipangira nokha. Mwachitsanzo, kutengera njira ndi njira zomwe adakwaniritsa cholingacho.

Mwina mufunika kukhala osamala kwambiri ndi kuphunzira kwa mnzanu wochita bwino kwambiri njira yake yolankhulirana mwansangala ndi yaubwenzi. Onani mmene amaika patsogolo. Amadziŵa ntchito zimene zingamalizidwe mwamsanga ndi zimene zimafuna kudzipereka kotheratu. Njira imeneyi imamuthandiza kuti azitsatira zonse zomwe zili zofunika panthawi ya ntchito ndikukhalabe ndi maganizo abwino.

Akatswiri a zamaganizo amatsutsana kwambiri za kukwanira kwa kugawanika kwa kaduka kukhala kovulaza ndi kothandiza. Akatswiri a zamaganizo Yochi Cohen-Cheresh ndi Eliot Larson amanena kuti kugawa kaduka m'mitundu iwiri sikumveketsa kalikonse, koma kumasokoneza chirichonse kwambiri. Amakhulupirira kuti anzawo omwe amalankhula za nsanje yovulaza ndi yopindulitsa akusokoneza malingaliro ndi khalidwe lomwe kutengekako kumayambitsa.

Zomvera ndi za chiyani?

Zomverera ndizochitikira zapadera, zomverera zomwe zimachitika pansi pazikhalidwe zina. Iwo ali ndi ntchito ziwiri:

Poyamba, amatipatsa mwamsanga zambiri zokhudza momwe zinthu zilili panopa, monga kukhalapo kwa chiwopsezo kapena mwayi. Phokoso lachilendo kapena kuyenda kosayembekezereka kungasonyeze kukhalapo kwa chilombo kapena ngozi ina. Zizindikirozi zimakhala zoyambitsa mantha. Mofananamo, timasangalala tikakhala ndi munthu wokongola kapena tikakhala pafupi ndi chakudya chokoma.

ChachiwiriMaganizo amatsogolera khalidwe lathu. Tikakhala ndi mantha, timachita zinthu zina kuti tidziteteze. Tikakhala osangalala, timayang'ana mwayi watsopano ndikukulitsa gulu lathu. Tikakhala achisoni, timapewa kucheza komanso kudzipatula kuti tikhale ndi mtendere wamumtima.

Kaduka ndi chimodzi - machitidwe amakhalidwe ndi osiyana

Zomverera zimatiuza zomwe zikuchitika kwa ife panthawiyo, ndipo zimatiuza momwe tingayankhire pazochitika zinazake. Koma ndikofunika kusiyanitsa pakati pa zochitika zamaganizo ndi khalidwe lomwe limatsogolera.

Ngati kaduka wopindulitsa ndi wovulaza ndi malingaliro awiri osiyana, ndiye kuti zochitika zomwe zimatsogolera malingalirowa ziyeneranso kukhala zosiyana. Mwachitsanzo, mkwiyo ndi mantha ndi mayankho amalingaliro pakuwopseza, koma mantha amabweretsa kupeŵa ngozi, ndipo mkwiyo umayambitsa kuwukira. Mkwiyo ndi mantha zimakhala zosiyana ndipo zimatsogolera ku maonekedwe osiyanasiyana.

Koma pankhani ya kaduka yothandiza komanso yovulaza, chilichonse chimakhala chosiyana. Chochitika choyambirira chowawa chomwe chimatsogolera ku kaduka ndi chofanana, koma mayankho amakhalidwe ndi osiyana.

Tikamanena kuti maganizo amalamulira khalidwe lathu, zimamveka ngati ndife ofooka, osowa chochita ndi malingaliro athu. Izi zitha kukhala zowona kwa nyama zina, koma anthu amatha kusanthula momwe akumvera ndikuchita mosiyana motengera mphamvu zawo. Mutha kulola mantha kukupangitsani kukhala wamantha, kapena mutha kusandutsa mantha kukhala kulimba mtima ndikuyankha mokwanira zovuta zamtsogolo.

Kusuta kungathenso kulamuliridwa. Kutengeka kumeneku kumatipatsa chidziwitso chofunikira chokhudzana ndi chikhalidwe chathu. Zili kwa ife kusankha chochita ndi chidziwitsochi. Tikhoza kulola nsanje kuwononga kudzidalira kwathu ndi kuwononga ubwino wa maubwenzi athu. Koma timatha kutsogolera kaduka m'njira yabwino ndikukwaniritsa kusintha kwathu ndi chithandizo chake.

Za Wolemba: David Ludden ndi Pulofesa wa Psychology ku Gwyneth College ku Georgia komanso wolemba The Psychology of Language: An Integrated Approach.