Anthu amene timawakonda akabwera kwa ife ndi ululu wawo, timayesetsa kuwatonthoza. Koma chithandizo sichiyenera kuwonedwa ngati kudzipereka kotheratu. Kafukufuku waposachedwapa akusonyeza kuti kutonthoza ena n’kothandiza kwa ife eni.
Kukhumudwa nthawi zambiri kumatipangitsa kuti tisiyane ndi ena, koma njira yabwino kwambiri yothanirana nawo ndikufikira anthu. Tikamathandiza ena, timakhala ndi luso la maganizo limene limatithandiza kulimbana ndi mavuto athu. Mfundo imeneyi inafikiridwa ndi magulu awiri a asayansi pamene anafotokozera mwachidule zotsatira za maphunziro omwe anachitidwa paokha.
Tidzithandiza bwanji
Phunziro loyamba linachitidwa ndi gulu la akatswiri a zamaganizo ochokera ku Columbia University motsogoleredwa ndi Bruce Dore. Monga gawo la kuyesaku, otenga nawo gawo 166 adalumikizana kwa milungu itatu pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti omwe asayansi adawapanga kuti agwire ntchito ndi zomwe akumana nazo. Kuyesera kusanachitike komanso pambuyo pake, otenga nawo mbali adamaliza mafunso omwe amawunikira mbali zosiyanasiyana za moyo wawo komanso moyo wawo.
Pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti, otenga nawo mbali adalemba zomwe adalemba ndikuyankhira pazolemba za ena. Amatha kusiya ndemanga zamitundu itatu, zomwe zimagwirizana ndi njira zosiyanasiyana zowongolera malingaliro:
chitsimikiziro - mukavomereza ndikumvetsetsa zomwe munthu wina adakumana nazo: "Ndimakumverani chisoni, nthawi zina mavuto amagwera pa ife ngati ma cones, wina ndi mnzake."
Kukonzanso - mukamapereka kuyang'ana zinthu mosiyana: "Ndikuganiza kuti tiyenera kuganiziranso ...".
Chizindikiro cholakwika - pamene mukopa chidwi cha munthu ku zolakwika zoganiza: "Mumagawaniza chirichonse kukhala choyera ndi chakuda", "Simungathe kuwerenga maganizo a anthu ena, musaganizire za ena."
Ophunzira ochokera ku gulu lowongolera amatha kungolemba zolemba za zomwe adakumana nazo ndipo sanawone zolemba za anthu ena - ngati akusunga zolemba zapaintaneti.
Pothandiza ena kuwongolera malingaliro awo, timaphunzitsa luso lathu lowongolera malingaliro.
Pamapeto pa kuyesera, chitsanzo chinawululidwa: ndemanga zambiri zomwe munthu wasiya, amasangalala kwambiri. Maganizo ake anakula, zizindikiro za kuvutika maganizo ndi chizoloŵezi chopanda phindu chinachepa. Pamenepa, mtundu wa ndemanga zomwe iye analemba zinalibe kanthu. Gulu loyang'anira, pomwe mamembala adayika zolemba zawo zokha, sizinali bwino.
Olemba kafukufuku amakhulupirira kuti zotsatira zabwino zimakhala chifukwa chakuti olemba ndemanga anayamba kuyang'ana miyoyo yawo mosiyana nthawi zambiri. Pothandiza ena kuthana ndi malingaliro awo, adaphunzitsa luso lawo lodziletsa.
Zilibe kanthu kuti anathandiza bwanji ena: ankachirikiza, kusonyeza zolakwika m’maganizo, kapena kudzipereka kuti aone vutolo mwanjira ina. Chinthu chachikulu ndicho kugwirizana monga choncho.
Mmene timathandizira ena
Phunziro lachiwiri linachitidwa ndi asayansi aku Israeli - katswiri wa zamaganizo Einat Levi-Gigi ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Simone Shamai-Tsoori. Iwo adayitana awiriawiri 45, mu chilichonse chomwe adasankha phunziro loyesa ndi wowongolera.
Anthuwa ankaonera zithunzi zogwetsa ulesi, monga zithunzi za akangaude ndi ana akulira. Owongolera adawona zithunzizo mwachidule. Kenaka, awiriwa adasankha njira ziwiri zomwe adapatsidwa kuti agwiritse ntchito: kubwereza, kutanthauza kutanthauzira chithunzicho mwanjira yabwino, kapena kusokoneza, kutanthauza kuganiza za chinthu china. Pambuyo pake, phunzirolo lidachita mogwirizana ndi njira yosankhidwa ndikufotokozera momwe adamvera.
Asayansiwo adawona kuti njira za owongolera zidagwira ntchito bwino komanso nkhani zomwe zidawagwiritsa ntchito zidamva bwino. Olembawo akufotokoza kuti: pamene tili ndi nkhawa, pansi pa goli la malingaliro oipa, zingakhale zovuta kumvetsa zomwe zili zabwino kwa ife. Kuyang'ana mkhalidwewo kuchokera kunja, popanda kukhudzidwa ndi maganizo, kumachepetsa kupsinjika maganizo ndikuwongolera kulamulira maganizo.
Luso lalikulu
Tikamathandiza wina kuthana ndi malingaliro olakwika, timaphunziranso kuyendetsa bwino zomwe takumana nazo. Pamtima pa ndondomekoyi ndi luso lotha kuyang'ana momwe zinthu zilili kudzera m'maso mwa munthu wina, kudziganizira nokha m'malo mwake.
Mu phunziro loyamba, ofufuza anafufuza luso limeneli mosalunjika. Oyeserawo adawerengera momwe olemba ndemanga amagwiritsa ntchito mawu okhudzana ndi munthu wina: "inu", "anu", "inu". Mawu ochulukirapo amalumikizidwa ndi wolemba positi, wolembayo adawonetsa phindu la ndemangayo ndikuwonetsa kuyamikira kwambiri.
Mu phunziro lachiwiri, otenga nawo mbali adayesa mayeso apadera omwe amayesa luso lawo lodziyika okha m'malo mwa wina. Pamene owongolera mfundo zambiri adagoletsa mayesowa, njira zawo zosankhidwa bwino zidagwira ntchito. Oyang'anira omwe angayang'ane momwe zinthu zilili kuchokera ku phunziroli anali othandiza kwambiri pochotsa ululu wa wokondedwa wawo.
Chifundo, ndiko kuti, kutha kuona dziko kudzera m’maso mwa munthu wina, kumapindulitsa aliyense. Simuyenera kuvutika nokha. Ngati mukumva kuipa, funani chithandizo kwa anthu ena. Izi sizingowonjezera malingaliro anu okha, komanso awonso.