Zamkatimu
Poyamba, moyo pamodzi umayenda mosangalala komanso mopanda nkhawa. Koma m’kupita kwa zaka, timayamba kuchokana wina ndi mnzake, kusamvana ndi kusungulumwa kukukulirakulira. Mikangano, mikangano, kutopa, kufuna kuti zinthu zichitike ... Ndipo tsopano tili pafupi ndi vuto labanja. Kodi kuthetsa izo?
Banja likakhala m’mavuto, mmodzi kapena onse aŵiri angamve ngati atsekeredwa m’mavuto, kukhala ndi kusungulumwa ndi kusiyidwa. Amasonkhanitsa madandaulo onse, ndipo zokambirana zikuchulukirachulukira kuti "Kodi munandinyenga?" kapena “Mwina tisudzulane?”. Nthawi zambiri pamakhala mikangano pazifukwa zomwezo, koma palibe chomwe chimasintha. Kusiyana kwamalingaliro pakati pa anthu omwe anali oyandikana nawo kale kukukulirakulira.
Chifukwa chiyani pali vuto muubwenzi?
Banja lililonse ndi lapadera - aliyense ali ndi nkhani yakeyake yachikondi, zokumana nazo zake komanso mphindi zosangalatsa. Koma mavuto omwe amayambitsa vuto labanja, malinga ndi akatswiri a zamaganizo, amasiyana pang'ono:
- Kulankhulana koipa. Kusamvana kumabweretsa mikangano yanthawi zonse yomwe imathetsa mphamvu ndi kuleza mtima kwa onse awiri. Komanso, mikangano imene palibe amene angafune kulowererapo sichita chilichonse chothetsa mikangano;
- Chiwembu. Chigololo chimawononga kukhulupirirana ndi kufooketsa maziko a maubale;
- Kusagwirizana mu malingaliro. Zingakhudze njira zolerera ana, bajeti ya banja, kagawidwe ka ntchito zapakhomo… Osatchulanso zinthu zosafunika kwenikweni;
- Vuto. Pali zifukwa zambiri: uchidakwa, kuledzera, kusokonezeka kwa umunthu, matenda a maganizo
Kodi n'zotheka kulosera momwe vutoli likuyandikira? Mosakayikira. Katswiri wa zamaganizo, banja ndi maukwati John Gottman akutchula zizindikiro 4 "zolankhula", zomwe amazitcha "okwera pamahatchi a apocalypse": izi ndizosalankhulana bwino, machitidwe odzitetezera mwaukali, kunyoza mnzako, ndi umbuli wotsutsa.
Ndipo kumverera kunyozana, malinga ndi kafukufuku, ndi chizindikiro chodziwika kwambiri kuti tsoka liri panjira.
Momwe mungatsitsimutsire maubale?
Ganizirani za zinthu zabwino
Ganiziraninso momwe munakumana ndi wokondedwa wanu. Chifukwa chiyani munakopeka wina ndi mnzake? Lembani mphamvu za banja lanu ndi ubale wanu. Ganizirani mmene angakuthandizireni kuthetsa vutolo.
"ife" m'malo mwa "ine"
"Panthawi yamavuto, ndikofunikira kwambiri kukhazikitsa njira yofananira yamaubwenzi kuchokera ku" ife ", akugogomezera katswiri wa zamaganizo Stan Tatkin. Kudzisamalira nokha kuchokera ku kawonedwe ka "ine" nakonso ndikofunikira, koma pamenepa, sikuthandiza kulimbitsa kapena kukonza maubwenzi.
Kuthana ndi mavuto mwadongosolo
Tsoka ilo, maanja ambiri amayesa kuthetsa mavuto onse omwe amasonkhana nthawi imodzi - koma izi sizingatheke, choncho amasiya. Ndi bwino kuchita mosiyana: lembani mndandanda wa mavuto onse ndi kusagwirizana kwa banja lanu ndikusankha imodzi yoyambira, ndikuyika pambali zina. Mukathana ndi nkhaniyi, m'masiku angapo mutha kupita ku ina.
Mukhululukireni zolakwa za mnzanu ndi kukumbukira zanu
Ndithudi nonse munalakwitsa zinthu zambiri zimene mumanong’oneza nazo bondo. Ndikofunika kudzifunsa kuti: "Kodi ndidzatha kudzikhululukira ndekha ndi mnzanga pazonse zomwe tinalankhula ndi kuchita, kapena kodi madandaulowa adzapitiriza kuwononga ubale wathu mpaka mapeto?" Panthawi imodzimodziyo, ndithudi, zochita zina sizingakhululukidwe - mwachitsanzo, chiwawa.
Kukhululuka sikutanthauza kuiwala. Koma popanda kukhululukidwa, ubalewu sungathe kuchoka: inu kapena mnzanuyo simukufuna kukumbutsidwa zolakwa zanu zakale.
Funsani chithandizo chamaganizo
Mukuyesera kukonza zinthu koma ubale ukungokulirakulira? Ndiye ndikofunikira kukaonana ndi katswiri wazamisala wabanja kapena katswiri wazochizira mabanja.
Mavuto muubwenzi amakuwonongerani mphamvu zakuthupi ndi zamaganizo, choncho ndikofunikira kuthana nazo mwachangu. Ndikhulupirireni, pali pafupifupi nthawi zonse mwayi wopulumutsa mkhalidwewo ndikubwezera chikondi ndi chisangalalo m'banja lanu.