Kutengeka ndi kachilombo: momwe timakhudzirana wina ndi mzake

Aliyense wa ife mwachidziwitso amamvetsetsa tanthauzo la mawu monga "social mood" kapena "chisangalalo mumlengalenga." Koma kuti? “Awa ndi mafanizo amene alibe tanthauzo lenileni. Komabe, timamvetsetsa bwino lomwe kufunikira kwawo, chifukwa timazindikira bwino lomwe zomwe zimayambitsa kutengeka, "atero katswiri wamabanja Stephen Stosny.

Mfundo yopatsirana malingaliro ikuwonetsa kuti malingaliro a anthu awiri kapena kupitilira apo amaphatikizidwa ndikufalikira kuchokera kwa munthu kupita kwa munthu m'magulu akulu. Timakonda kuganiza za izi ngati njira yamkati, koma kutengeka mtima kumatha kupatsirana kuposa kachilombo kodziwika, ndipo kumatha kufalikira kwa aliyense wapafupi.

Ambiri amakhala ndi mwayi woona mmene timakhudzidwira ndi mmene achibale athu akumvera. Mwachitsanzo, n’zosatheka kukhala wosangalala anthu ena akamavutika maganizo. Komabe, n’zochititsa chidwi kuti kupatsirana maganizo kumagwira ntchito ngakhale pamene palibe kugwirizana pakati pa anthu. Mwachitsanzo, pagulu la alendo, «matenda amalingaliro» amatipangitsa kumva chimodzimodzi ndi gulu lonselo.

Mayesero amasonyeza kuti timakhala osaleza mtima kwambiri pamalo okwerera basi ngati anthu amene timakhala nawo alinso osaleza mtima. Koma ngati apirira mfundo yakuti basi yachedwa, ndiye kuti tidikira mwakachetechete. "Magetsi mumlengalenga" amatipatsa chisangalalo pamwambo wamasewera kapena msonkhano, ngakhale titakhala kuti sitinatenge nawo gawo poyambirira ndikungopita kukampani.

Kufunika Kwachisinthiko

Kuti timvetsetse tanthauzo la kupatsirana kwamalingaliro, a Stephen Stosny akuwonetsa kuti aganizire za phindu lake pakupulumuka kwa anthu. Kugawana "malingaliro amagulu" kumatipatsa maso ambiri, makutu, ndi mphuno kuti tiyang'ane zoopsa ndikupeza mwayi wothawa.

Chifukwa chake, izi ndizofanana ndi magulu onse a nyama zamagulu: mapaketi, ng'ombe, zonyada, mafuko. Pamene membala wa gulu akumva kuti akuwopsezedwa, akukhala waukali, wamantha, kapena watcheru, ena nthawi yomweyo amatengera izi.

Tikamaona mantha kapena kuzunzika kwa munthu wina m’gululo, tingamvenso chimodzimodzi. Ngati sitikana mwachikumbumtima, anthu osangalala paphwando amatisangalatsa, anthu osamala amatisamalira, ndipo anthu otopa amatopa. Timapewa amene amanyamula "katundu pa mapewa awo" ndi amene amatisokoneza kapena kutidetsa nkhawa.

Zotengera zakumbuyo zimatsimikizira chidziwitso

Mofanana ndi chirichonse chimene chimakhudza mkhalidwe wamaganizo, “matenda” oterowo amalamulira kwambiri kaganizidwe kathu. Ofufuza zamaganizidwe amadziwa kuti adzapeza mayankho a mafunso omwe amafunsa m'magulu omwe akufunsidwa ndipo wina akafunsa mafunso omwewo kwa aliyense payekha.

Ndipo sikuti anthu amanama akakhala pamodzi, kapena kuti amasintha maganizo akakhala paokha. Chifukwa cha chikoka cha malingaliro, iwo akhoza kukhala ndi malingaliro osiyana pa nkhani imodzi, malingana ndi malo omwe ali pa nthawi ya kafukufuku.

Mfundo yopatsirana imaganiziranso za "groupthink". Anthu amakonda kumvera ambiri pamisonkhano kapena kuchita zinthu pamodzi, ngakhale motsutsana ndi malingaliro awo. Mwachitsanzo, yoopsa kapena aukali khalidwe la achinyamata achifwamba akuwonetseredwa mfundo yakuti wamba maganizo «matenda» amalimbikitsa mwana aliyense kupyola zopinga zawo, ndipo nthawi zina kutali ndi iwo, amene zotsatira zoopsa, chiwawa kapena chigawenga khalidwe.

Kupatsirana kwamalingaliro kumawonekera m'magulu ogwirizana ndi ziwonetsero, nthawi zovuta kwambiri, mu "chilungamo chamagulu", zipolowe, zipolowe komanso kuba. Pamlingo wocheperako koma wowoneka bwino, izi zimatipatsa masitayilo osintha nthawi zonse, zizolowezi zachikhalidwe, ndi miyezo yolondola pazandale.

Kutengeka maganizo kumapatsirana kwambiri

“Kodi munayamba mwadzifunsapo kuti n’chifukwa chiyani nthawi zambiri timangoganizira zimene zimayambitsa kukhumudwa m’malo moganizira zabwino? Stosny akufunsa. - Sindikunena za anthu opanda chiyembekezo komanso oopsa omwe nthawi zonse amafunafuna mwayi wopeza dontho la phula mu mbiya ya uchi. Koma pambuyo pa zonse, aliyense amapereka choyipa cholemera kwambiri. Kodi inuyo panokha mumaganiza bwanji za zochitika zabwino ndi zoipa? Kodi maganizo anu amathera nthawi yambiri ndi mphamvu pa chiyani?

Zomverera zoyipa zimayikidwa patsogolo muubongo chifukwa ndizofunikira kwambiri kuti munthu apulumuke mwachangu. Amatipatsa adrenaline kuthamanga kwanthawi yomweyo, komwe kumafunika, mwachitsanzo, kulumpha kutali ndi njoka ndikuthamangitsa akambuku a mano a saber. Ndipo timalipira ndi mwayi wowonanso kukongola kwa dziko lozungulira ife.

The «negative bias» imatsimikizira chifukwa chake kutaya kumapweteka kwambiri kuposa phindu. Kudya chakudya chokoma ndi chabwino, koma nthawi zambiri sichingafanane ndi kukhumudwitsa kwa chakudya chomwe mwaphonya. Ngati mutapeza $ 10, chisangalalo chidzakhalapo kwa tsiku limodzi kapena kuposerapo, ndipo kutaya $ 000 kungawononge maganizo anu kwa mwezi umodzi kapena kuposerapo.

Malingaliro abwino a moyo wabwino

Chodabwitsa n'chakuti, malingaliro abwino ndi ofunika kwambiri kuti mukhale ndi moyo wautali. Tili ndi mwayi wokhala ndi moyo wautali, wathanzi komanso wosangalala ngati timakumana nawo nthawi zambiri kuposa zoyipa. Moyo umakhala wabwinoko kwa iwo amene amatha kuyamikira kukongola kwa dambo lamapiri ndi dzuwa likuwala pamasamba amitengo…malinga atha kuwonanso njoka mu udzu. Tiyenera kukhala okhoza kupulumuka pa nthawi yoyenera kuti tipitirize kuyamikira dziko lotizungulira.

Ndikofunikiranso kumvetsetsa kuti mayiko aliwonse odzitchinjiriza komanso aukali, monga mkwiyo, amafalikira mopanda chifundo kuchokera kwa munthu kupita kwa munthu. Ngati wina abwera kuntchito ali ndi mkwiyo, ndiye kuti nthawi ya nkhomaliro aliyense womuzungulira amakhala atakhumudwa kale. Madalaivala aukali amapangitsa madalaivala ena kukhala ofanana. Wachinyamata wokwiya amawononga chakudya chamadzulo cha banja, ndipo mwamuna kapena mkazi wosaleza mtima amapangitsa kuonera TV kukhala kodetsa nkhawa ndi kukhumudwitsa.

Kusankha mwachidwi

Ngati tili pafupi ndi munthu waukali, wokwiya, wamwano, wamwano, wobwezera, ndiye kuti tidzamva mofanana ndi iyeyo. Ndipo kuti musakhale yemweyo, muyenera kuyesetsa ndikuphatikiza wamkulu wamkati.

Kwenikweni, izi sizodabwitsa. Koma chofunika kwambiri n’chakuti, popeza tatengeka ndi maganizo amenewa, tingayambe kuchita zinthu molakwika ndi munthu wina amene takumana naye. "Ngati moyo wanu komanso momwe mumamvera zimadalira anthu ena, mudzalephera kudzilamulira nokha komanso momwe zinthu zilili, motero muzichita zinthu mopupuluma. Mudzakhala munthu wongokhulupirira, ndipo chokumana nacho cha moyo wanu chidzatsimikiziridwa ndi kulabadira kwanu “kuipitsa kwamalingaliro” kwa chilengedwe,” akuchenjeza motero Stosny.

Koma mwa kuphunzira kukhala ndi malire abwino amalingaliro ndi kusonyeza chisamaliro chanzeru ku mkhalidwe wathu ndi mkhalidwe wathu, tingasungire bata ndi kulamulira moyo.

Za wolemba: Steven Stosny ndi katswiri wazamisala, wochiritsa mabanja, mphunzitsi ku yunivesite ya Maryland (USA), wolemba mabuku angapo, kuphatikiza wolemba nawo buku lomasuliridwa ku Russia "Honey, tiyenera kulankhula za ubale wathu ... Momwe mungachitire popanda kumenyana" (Sofia, 2008).