Ubwenzi umatanthauza ubale wodzipereka pakati pa anthu awiri zomwe sizimatengera zofuna za chikhalidwe kapena zachuma, ubale kapena kukopeka pakugonana. Kuvomerezana, chikhumbo chokhala pachibwenzi, chiyanjano chomwe chimamangiriza anthu a 2, kukhulupirirana, kuthandizira maganizo kapena ngakhale zinthu zakuthupi, kudalirana m'maganizo ndi nthawi zonse ndizinthu zomwe zimapanga ubwenzi umenewu.

Kuyambira 20 mpaka 65, tidzakhala pafupi abwenzi khumi ndi asanu zomwe mungadalire. Kuyambira zaka 70, izi zimatsikira mpaka 10, ndipo pamapeto pake zimatsikira ku 5 pokhapokha zaka 80.

Komabe, munthu aliyense akanangokhala nacho pakati pa 3 ndi 4 abwenzi apamtima, chiwerengero chomwe sichinasinthe kwa zaka 50.

Komabe, pali mtundu wina wa malamulo okhudzidwa omwe amaphatikiza zinthu zosiyanasiyana kuti mabwenzi ena azisinthidwa nthawi zonse ndi atsopano. Komabe, ena amakhalabe moyo wonse kapena kwa nthawi yayitali: mwa anthu 18 omwe amawonedwa ngati mabwenzi, 3 angatchulidwe kuti " Anzanga akale ". 

Oyandikana nawo, yomwe imasonyeza mitundu yonse ya kuyandikira mumlengalenga, imakhala ndi chikoka champhamvu pa zosankha ndi mabwenzi. Mwa kuyankhula kwina, mnansi wanu m'chipinda chanu, tebulo, dorm, kalasi kapena oyandikana nawo ali ndi mwayi wabwino kwambiri wokhala bwenzi lanu kuposa wina. Kuyandikira kwa malo, kapangidwe kake kapena magwiridwe antchito ndi njira yomwe imasonkhanitsa anthu ofanana, masitayilo ndi zaka zomwe zimapanga maubwenzi.

Kafukufuku wopangidwa m'sukulu yogonera komweko adawonetsa kuti 25% ya maubwenzi omwe amapangidwa pakati pa omwe amaphunzira nawo ntchito poyamba amafanana ndi malo ozungulira (mwachitsanzo, oyandikana nawo) ndipo adapitilira miyezi isanu ndi umodzi pambuyo pake. Kafukufuku wina yemwe adachitika m'malo ankhondo adatsimikizira izi.

Mbali inayi, zaka homophilia (zomwe zimatanthawuza chizolowezi chokhala ndi abwenzi a msinkhu wofanana kapena gulu la zaka zofanana) ndizofala kwambiri, pafupifupi 85% pamagulu onse a anthu. Komabe, zimachepa, monganso kuchuluka kwa abwenzi, pakapita nthawi ... Ndikofunikira kuzindikira apa kufunikira kwa zinthu zomwe zimagwirizanitsa anthu am'badwo umodzi kapena amsinkhu womwewo (mwachitsanzo, masukulu ochezera anzawo omwe amapangitsa kuti pakhale maubwenzi otheka. pakati pa mabanja a makolo). 

Chikondi ndi ubwenzi n’zofanana kwambiri, koma n’zosiyana kwambiri m’njira ziwiri. The kugonana kupatsa moyo chikhumbo ndi kukumbatirana mwachikondi zimangopezeka m'chikondi, ngakhale pali kumasuka kwakuthupi pakati pa mabwenzi: kupenya ndi mawu a anzathu ndizofunika kwa ife. Mkhalidwe wa chidwi zomwe zimafalikira m'mbali zonse zakukhalapo ndizofanana ndi chikondi: zimakonda kuchotsa kapena kuchepetsa maubwenzi ena. Ubwenzi umawalekerera ngakhale kuti nthawi zina umadzutsa nsanje mwa amene amaopa kuchepekera kwa anzawo.

Tiyeni tiwonjeze kuti chikondi chikhoza kukhala cha mbali imodzi (ndicho chopanda chimwemwe) pamene ubwenzi umangowoneka mofanana.

Chikondi ndi ubwenzi, kumbali ina, zonse zikhoza kubwera mwadzidzidzi, monga chikondi poyang'ana poyamba.

Ku funso lakuti, " Bwenzi ndi chiyani kwa iwe? Kodi mukuganiza kuti zizindikiro za ubwenzi weniweni ndi ziti? ", Zizindikiro za 4 zimatchulidwa nthawi zambiri.

Communication. Ubwenzi umalola kusinthanitsa, zikhulupiliro, kudzimvetsetsa, kugawana chisangalalo ndi chisoni. Kuchotsa anthu kusungulumwa, kumalumikizidwa ndi chisangalalo chokumananso ndipo kumatha kupirira kusapezekapo kwakanthawi.

Thandizo limodzi. Nthawi iliyonse, mabwenzi ayenera kutha kutembenukirana komanso kuyembekezera kuyitana. Kodi sizomvetsa chisoni kuti timawerengera anzathu enieni? Nthawi zambiri, anthu amadzutsa ndime zovuta zopambana chifukwa cha bwenzi, zomwe zimatsimikizira kudzipereka kopanda chilema, kuphatikiza zochita ndi umboni.

« Bwenzi ndi amene adzakhalapo pamene mukufunikiradi chinachake. Mutha kumudalira pakagwa nkhonya yolimba » Bidard, 1997.

« Munthawi yakusasangalala m'pamene mumawonadi anzanu enieni ndi anzanu. Chifukwa nthawi zina timazunguliridwa kwambiri ndi chilichonse, ndipo zinthu zina zikachitika, gululo limachepa, ndipo ndipamene ... ". Bidard, 1997.

Kukhulupirika. Ndi chizindikiro chomwe chikuwoneka ngati chovuta ku nthawi. Ubwenzi umawonedwa ngati wabwino, nthano yopatulika yofotokozedwa mwachidule ndi mwambi wotsatirawu: ” Aliyense amene amasiya kukhala mabwenzi sanakhalepo. »

Trust. Imadula lingaliro lakulankhulana (kukhala wowona mtima ndi wowona mtima, kusunga zinsinsi), kuthandizana (kuwerengera zina zivute zitani) ndi kukhulupirika (kukhala wolumikizidwa kwa winayo).

Titha kuwonjezera kuti ubwenzi umapitilira mopitilira momwe zimakhalira (mabwenzi ochokera kusukulu apitiliza kuwonana bwino akamaliza maphunziro).

Umboni umasonyeza kuti pali kumaliza maphunziro a maubwenzi. Poyamba, winayo amaonedwa ngati bwenzi losavuta, ndiye mnzanu, bwenzi kapena bwenzi, ndipo potsiriza bwenzi. M'kati mwa abwenzi pali magulu angapo omwe akusintha. Ena amakwezedwa “abwenzi”, ena amagwa. Nthawi zina zochitika zina zoyambira zimathandizira kukweza udindo wa abwenzi. Kungakhale chochitika chochititsa chidwi, mavuto a m’banja, mavuto aumwini amene winayo anachita mbali yofunika kwambiri. ” Mnzakoyo ndiye munthu wapadera kwambiri panthawi yapadela »Mwachidule Bidard. 

Zaka makumi angapo zapitazo, ubwenzi pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi ankaonedwa kuti n’zosatheka kapena n’zosatheka. Tinkamuona ngati iyeyo mawonekedwe obisika a kugonana kapena kukopeka kwachikondi. Masiku ano amalingaliridwa ndi 80% a Azungu kuti ndi "zotheka" komanso ngakhale "wamba", koma zowona zimatsutsana ndi malingaliro.

Kafukufuku wambiri wasonyeza kuti abambo ndi amai amasiyana kwambiri ndi maubwenzi angapo: malo okondana, chidwi, njira zofotokozera zakukhosi, njira zolankhulirana, njira zina zomwe zimatsogolera kuzinthu zina kapena machitidwe… gwero la kusiyana kwakukulu kumeneku. Komabe, n’zachidziŵikire kuti anthu aŵiri amakhala okhoza kupanga ubwenzi ngati ali ndi zinthu zofanana.

Kuonjezera apo, kasamalidwe ka kukopa kugonana ndi mfundo yovuta yaubwenzi wa intersex. Zowonadi, 20 mpaka 30% ya amuna, ndi 10 mpaka 20% ya amayi angazindikire kukhalapo kwa kukopa kwa chikhalidwe cha kugonana mkati mwa mgwirizano waubwenzi pakati pa abambo ndi amai.

Kuyambira kukwera kwa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti, ubwenzi wapa intaneti wayamba, mosiyana ndi ubwenzi wapaintaneti malinga ndi olemba ambiri. Malinga ndi Casilli, ubale womwe umapezeka pamalo ochezera, monga socio-digital network, ungafunenso dzina losiyana, chifukwa umafuna matanthauzidwe osiyanasiyana. Mosiyana ndi ubwenzi wapaintaneti, ubwenzi wapaintaneti ndi chinthu chodziwikiratu.

Munthuyo ayenera choyamba kunena ngati munthuyo ndi “bwenzi” asanalankhule naye molingana ndi momwe amakhalira.

Kwa Seneca, ubwenzi nthawi zonse umakhala wopanda dyera, zomwe sizimafanana nthawi zonse ndi ubwenzi wapaintaneti. Casilli adatchulanso mtundu wina waubwenzi wapaintaneti wofanana ndi "kusamalira anthu" kudzikongoletsa “. Kuweta ndi mchitidwe umene ukhoza kuwonedwa mu anyani pamene anyani awiri amachoka pagulu kuti aziyeretsana. Chidwi cha fanizoli loperekedwa ndi Casilli ndikuwulula kusakhalapo kwa zochitika zenizeni zaubwenzi, koma m'malo mwake zochitika zomwe zimakumana pamodzi mwa kusinthanitsa maulalo, makanema, ndi zina zotere. Zochita zamtunduwu zitha kuloleza kusungitsa maubwenzi osagwirizana, kusunga kulumikizana pakati pa anthu: ngakhale zachiphamaso, zingalole anthu kusunga maubwenzi omwe amafunikira ndalama zochepa, poyerekeza ndi ubale wapaintaneti. . Chifukwa chake ungakhale ubale "wachidwi".