Aliyense ali ndi malingaliro oti bwenzi labwino liyenera kukhala. Ndipo timatsutsa mosalekeza wosankhidwayo, kuyesera kuti agwirizane ndi miyezo yathu. Timamva ngati tikuchita ndi zolinga zabwino kwambiri. Katswiri wa zamaganizo Todd Kashdan amakhulupirira kuti khalidwe lotereli limawononga maubwenzi.
Oscar Wilde adanenapo kuti, "Kukongola kuli m'diso la wowona." Akatswiri amaphunziro akuwoneka kuti akugwirizana naye. Osachepera pankhani ya zibwenzi. Komanso, malingaliro athu okhudza wokondedwa komanso momwe timawonera maubwenzi zimakhudza kwambiri momwe angakulire.
Akatswiri a zamaganizo ochokera ku yunivesite ya George Mason ku United States adaganiza zofufuza momwe kuunikira kwabwino kwa bwenzi kumakhudzira maubwenzi pakapita nthawi. Anaitana mabanja 159 ogonana ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndipo anawagawa m'magulu awiri: oyamba anali ophunzira, achiwiri anali okwatirana akuluakulu. Kafukufukuyu adatsogozedwa ndi pulofesa wa psychology Todd Kashdan.
Ubwino ndi zoyipa
Ophunzira adafunsidwa kusankha mikhalidwe yawo itatu yolimba kwambiri aliyense ndikutchula "zotsatira" zoyipa za mikhalidweyo. Mwachitsanzo, mumakondwera ndi malingaliro opanga mwamuna wanu, koma luso lake la bungwe limasiya zambiri.
Kenako magulu onsewa adayankha mafunso okhudza kuchuluka kwa kuyandikana kwamalingaliro mwa okwatirana, kukhutitsidwa pakugonana, ndikuwunika momwe aliri okondwa muubwenziwu.
Amene amalemekeza kwambiri mphamvu za mnzawo amakhala okhutitsidwa ndi maubwenzi komanso moyo wogonana. Nthawi zambiri amawona kuti mnzakeyo amathandizira zokhumba zawo ndi zolinga zawo komanso amathandizira kukula kwawo.
Anthu amene amasamala kwambiri zofooka za mnzawo sangamve kuti akuthandizidwa
Kuonjezera apo, anthu amene amaona kuti makhalidwe abwino a munthu wina ndi ofunika kwambiri, amakhala odzipereka kwambiri, amaona kuti okwatiranawo ndi ogwirizana kwambiri m’maganizo, ndipo amaika mphamvu zambiri pa moyo wawo wonse. Kuphunzira kuyamikira zimene mnzanuyo amachita kumathandiza kuti mukhale ndi ubwenzi wabwino. Anthu otere amayamikira kwambiri makhalidwe awo abwino.
Funso lina ndi momwe maganizo a okondedwa kumbali za ubwino wa mwamuna kapena mkazi amakhudzira moyo wa banja. Kupatula apo, mwachitsanzo, zimakhala zovuta kuti msungwana wolenga azisunga dongosolo m'chipindamo, ndipo mwamuna wachifundo komanso wowolowa manja amakhala wosowa nthawi zonse.
Zinapezeka kuti anthu omwe amamvetsera kwambiri zolakwa za mnzawo sangamve kuthandizidwa ndi iye. Ophunzira omwe adachita nawo phunzirolo adavomereza kuti sanasangalale kwambiri ndi chiyanjano ndi khalidwe la mnzawo yemwe samakonda kusonyeza chikondi kapena kuwadzudzula kaŵirikaŵiri. Ophunzirawo adadandaula chifukwa chosowa ubwenzi wapamtima komanso kukhutira kochepa ndi moyo wawo wogonana.
Mphamvu ya malingaliro
Kutsiliza kwina kwa ochita kafukufuku: lingaliro la mnzanu m'modzi pa ubale limakhudza chiweruzo chachiwiri. Pamene woyamba ayamikira nyonga za wina mowonjezereka kapena kudera nkhaŵa mochepera chifukwa cha zophophonya zake, wachiŵiri nthaŵi zambiri amawona chichirikizo cha wokondedwa.
"Maganizo a anthu okondana wina ndi mzake amawongolera zomwe amagawana mu maubwenzi," adatero mtsogoleri wa kafukufuku Todd Kashdan. “Anthu amasintha makhalidwe malingana ndi zomwe zili zofunika komanso zozindikirika paubwenzi ndi zomwe sizili. Anthu awiri omwe ali muukwati wachikondi amapanga zochitika zawo: momwe angakhalire, momwe angakhalire, ndi zomwe zili zoyenera kwa okwatirana.
Kukhoza kuyamikirana ndiko chinsinsi cha ubale wabwino. Tikamayamikira mphamvu za mnzathu, kuwafotokozera, ndi kuwalola kugwiritsa ntchito mphamvuzi, timathandiza wokondedwa wathu kuzindikira zomwe angathe kuchita. Zimatithandiza kukhala abwino ndikukula limodzi. Timakhulupilira kuti tikhoza kulimbana ndi mavuto ndi kusintha kwa moyo.
Za Katswiri: Todd Kashdan ndi katswiri wazamisala ku George Mason University.