Kusaka bwenzi kudzera m'mapulogalamu kumawoneka kosavuta komanso kosalemetsa. Komabe, mapulogalamuwa amatitopetsa, kunama, ndi kukhumudwa. Chifukwa chiyani zimachitika?
Timakonda mapulogalamu azibwenzi - ndipo lero sitichita manyazi kuvomereza! Zikukhala zosavuta komanso zomveka bwino. Kuphatikiza apo, popanga mbiri pa Pure kapena Tinder, timayika pachiwopsezo chilichonse, chifukwa munthu yemwe poyamba sanatikonde sangathe kutilembera kapena kutiimbira foni. Kuti muyankhule ndi mnzanu yemwe angakhale naye, m'pofunika kuti "asunthire kumanja", ndipo ife tokha tinachita izo. Ndipo m'mapulogalamu ena, ndi mkazi yekha amene ali ndi ufulu wosankha.
Komabe, monga momwe zimasonyezera (ndi kafukufuku wa akatswiri a zamaganizo!), Ngakhale mapulogalamu abwino awa ali ndi zovuta zake. Zikuoneka kuti ngakhale kuti izo zimatipangitsa kukhala kosavuta kuti tipeze bwenzi lotha kukhala nalo, kugwa m'chikondi ndi kusunga kumverera uku, m'malo mwake, iwo amangosokoneza. Nanga bwanji?
Zosankha zambiri
Tikuganiza kuti anthu ambiri omwe angakhale othandizana nawo amapangitsa kuti zikhale zosavuta kwa ife. Ndipo mapulogalamu a zibwenzi amatipatsa "kusiyana" kwakukulu! Komabe, kodi ndi zothandizadi choncho? Akatswiri a zamaganizo ochokera ku yunivesite ya Edinburgh apeza kuti zosankha zambiri zomwe timawona patsogolo pathu, timakhala osakhutira kwambiri.
Ochita nawo kafukufuku adafunsidwa kuti asankhe anzawo owoneka bwino kuchokera kwa anthu 6 kapena 24 omwe akufuna. Ndipo omwe adapatsidwa mwayi wochuluka adamva kuti sakhutira kwambiri ndi omwe "menyu" yawo inali yochepa kwambiri.
Koma sizikuthera pamenepo: omwe adayenera kufufuza njira 24 asanasankhe anali ndi mwayi wosintha malingaliro awo ndikusankha bwenzi lina sabata yamawa. Koma amene anapatsidwa oyenerera 6 okha anakhala okhutiritsidwa ndi chigamulo chawo mkati mwa mlungu womwewo. Ofufuzawo adapeza kuti tikakhala ndi zosankha zambiri, timakonda kusiya chimodzi.
Anthu okongola mwakuthupi amatha kusiya maubwenzi omwe alipo tsopano ndikuthamangira kukapeza atsopano.
Akatswiri a zamaganizo ali otsimikiza kuti tikafunika kuphunzira ambiri omwe amaperekedwa ndi ntchitoyo, ubongo wathu umatopa msanga. Chifukwa chake, timayang'ana pazifukwa zomwe zitha kuganiziridwa mwachangu, popanda kuyesetsa kwakukulu. Choyamba, tikukamba za kutalika, kulemera ndi kukongola kwa thupi la ofuna kusankha.
Tikamasankha bwenzi potengera momwe amawonekera bwino, ubalewu umakhala waufupi komanso umakhala pachiwopsezo chotikhumudwitsa kwambiri. Mu 2017, akatswiri a zamaganizo ku yunivesite ya Harvard adapeza kuti anthu owoneka bwino amatha kusiya maubwenzi omwe alipo ndikuthamangira kukapeza atsopano.
Kukonzekera kwa bwenzi
Tikapeza nthawi ndi mwayi wolankhulana ndi munthu winawake, timaphunzira zambiri za iye mofulumira kwambiri. Kodi mawu ake enieni ndi otani? Kodi amanunkha bwanji? Kodi nthawi zambiri amagwiritsa ntchito manja otani? Kodi ali ndi kuseka kosangalatsa?
Kulumikizana ndi wogwiritsa ntchito wina mu pulogalamuyi, tili ndi chidziwitso chosowa. Nthawi zambiri timakhala ndi mafunso afupiafupi omwe ali nawo, omwe amawonetsa dzina, malo a "ngwazi ya buku lathu" ndipo, makamaka, mawu angapo omwe amakonda.
Munthu wamoyo amene ‘tinamuchititsa khungu pa chimene chinalipo’ sangakwaniritse ziyembekezo zathu zabwino
Popanda kuona munthu weniweni, timakonda kugwirizana ndi chifaniziro chake ndi makhalidwe abwino osiyanasiyana. Mwachitsanzo, tinganene kuti iye ndi amene ali ndi makhalidwe abwino, kapenanso makhalidwe abwino a anzathu apamtima.
Tsoka ilo, pali ngozi yaikulu kuti msonkhano waumwini ukhoza kutikhumudwitsa. Munthu wamoyo amene ‘tinamuchititsa khungu pa chimene chinalipo’ sangakwaniritse ziyembekezo zathu zabwino.
Aliyense amanama
Ngati sitikutsimikiza kuti idzabweranso ku msonkhano, pali chiyeso chachikulu chokometsera zambiri za ife eni. Ndipo ogwiritsa ntchito ambiri amavomereza kuti amanama pazigawo zawo. Malinga ndi ofufuza, akazi ndi amene amakonda kunena molakwika kulemera kwawo, ndipo amuna nthawi zambiri amanena molakwika kutalika kwawo. Amuna ndi akazi onse mofanana nthawi zambiri amanama za maphunziro awo, ntchito yawo, zaka zawo, komanso ngati ali pachibwenzi.
Zoonadi, m’kanthawi kochepa, mabodzawa angatipangitse kukhala ooneka bwino pamaso pa omwe angakhale okwatirana nawo, koma kawirikawiri, kunama sikuli maziko abwino a ubale wosangalala wa nthawi yaitali. Ndipo kuona mtima ndi kudalirika, m’malo mwake, kumapangitsa unansi wathu kukhala wokhazikika ndi kutithandiza kukhala okhulupirika kwa wina ndi mnzake.
Ndiye kodi kuli koyenera kuyambitsa ubale ndi kusamuka kowopsa koteroko? Mwina amene akuvomera kukumana nanu sadzaona kusiyana pang'ono pakati pa mawu anu ndi zenizeni. Koma ngati akuwona, izi sizingatheke kuti zithandize kupanga malo ofunda pa tsiku loyamba.