Zomwe timafunikira paubwana ndi chikondi cha amayi. Pamene munthu wofunika kwambiri m’moyo wa mwana wamusiya kapena atalikirana naye m’maganizo, samadzimvanso wochirikizidwa. Ndipo izi zikuwonekera makamaka m'madyedwe ake.
Chifukwa chiyani chakudya? Chifukwa ndi mankhwala osavuta omwe angabweretse chisangalalo posachedwa. Timakumbukira kuti chakudya chinalipo pamene tinasowa kwambiri makolo athu. Ngakhale zinali zochepa komanso zochepa.
Katswiri wa zamaganizo, katswiri wa zamaganizo Ev Khazina akunena kuti chithunzi cha mayi ndi chiyambi chodyetsa mwana wakhanda chimagwirizanitsidwa ndi njala yokhutiritsa ndi kupulumuka:
"Sizopanda pake kuti mwanayo amangirira amayi ake kwa iye yekha mwamphamvu momwe angathere. Ichi ndi fanizo la kukonzanso paradaiso wotayika wa chitukuko cha usana. Timayesetsa kuteteza ndi kulikulitsa mpaka mtsogolo. Koma ziyenera kukumbukiridwa kuti makolo angapereke kokha mwana wawo chikhutiro chimene iwo eniwo adziunjikira. Kuperewera kwa makolo m'chikondi ndi kulandiridwa ndi cholowa."
Kafukufuku akutsimikizira kuti ana olandidwa chikondi cha amayi amamva njala. Chotsatira chake ndi kusamuka: kuthedwa nzeru m’malo a chikondi kumatikankhira m’mchitidwe wamba wofunafuna chitonthozo m’chakudya.
Nkhani yobisika ya chikondi
Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages (Mabuku Owala, 2020) akupereka chitsanzo chachikondi chomwe chimaphatikizapo:
thandizo,
kusamalira
kudzimana,
kuvomereza,
kukhudza thupi.
Mosakayikira, tikhoza kuwonjezera chinenero chachisanu ndi chimodzi chachikondi pamndandanda uwu - chakudya. Timakumbukira ndi kuyamikira chinenero ichi cha chikondi cha amayi moyo wathu wonse. Tsoka ilo, mabanja ndi osiyana. Ev Khazina akutsimikiza kuti kusowa kwa chikondi cha makolo kumayankha mu moyo wachikulire ndi zovuta za kudya. Amuna ndi akazi onenepa kwambiri nthawi zambiri amakumbukira kuti paubwana sanasamalidwe komanso kuthandizidwa.
Kukula, osakondedwa ndi kusamalidwa, ana amayamba kubwezera zoletsa zowawa mwa kudya kupatukana ndi chinachake chokoma. Chikhumbo choterocho chofuna “kupeza” chikondi cha amayi nchomveka ndithu, katswiriyo akukhulupirira kuti: “Mwana akakula ndi kudzikonda yekha, amapeza kuti “mayi amene kulibe” angasinthidwe mosavuta ndi chakudya “chomwe chimapezeka nthawi zonse” . Popeza mu maganizo a mwana, mayi ndi chakudya pafupifupi ofanana, ndiye chakudya amakhala lalikulu losavuta yothetsera.
Ngati mayiyo anali poizoni ndi wosapiririka, ndiye kuti chakudya, monga choloŵa mmalo chopulumutsa, chikhoza kukhala chitetezero ku kukhudzana koteroko.
Momwe mungachotsere kukumbatira kwa chakudya kwa mayi
Ngati tiona kuti tikuchotsa chikondi cha okondedwa athu ndi chakudya, ndiye kuti nthawi yoti tichitepo kanthu yafika. Nanga tingatani? Wothandizira akulangiza kuchita zisanu ndi ziwiri njira zothandizira kusintha kudya kwamalingaliro kukhala "ubwenzi wabwino ndi chakudya."
Mvetserani chiyambi cha chizolowezi chanu chodya kupsinjika. Ganizirani: zidayamba liti, mumikhalidwe yotani ya moyo, ndi masewero ndi nkhawa zotani zomwe zimayambitsidwa ndi khalidwe lopewa?
Unikani zochita zofunika kusintha. Dzifunseni nokha kuti kusintha kudzabweretsa phindu lanji? Lembani yankho.
Lembani mndandanda wa zochita zomwe zingalowe m'malo mwa kudya mopambanitsa. Kungakhale kupuma, kuyenda, kusamba, kusinkhasinkha mwachidule, masewera olimbitsa thupi.
Kumanani maso ndi maso ndi Wotsutsa wanu wamkulu. Mudziŵeni bwino monga bwenzi lakale. Fufuzani, ndi mawu andani omwe mudapita kale ndi a Wotsutsa? Kodi inu, wamkulu, mungayankhe chiyani pa zonena zake ndi kutsika kwa mtengo wake?
Chitani zomwe mumaopa tsiku lililonse. Choyamba yerekezani kuchita izo mu malingaliro anu. Ndiye gwiritsani ntchito m'moyo weniweni.
Tamandani, vomerezani, dzipangeni nokha pa sitepe iliyonse yowopsa yomwe mutenga. Koma osati chakudya!
Kumbukirani, kudya mwamalingaliro ndi udindo wa mwana, osati munthu wamkulu ndi wodalirika monga momwe mulili tsopano. Perekani munthu wamkulu kutsutsa mitu ya moyo yomwe imakuvutitsani ndikuwona zozizwitsa zomwe zidzalowe m'moyo wanu.