Mwakonzekera moyo wautali wosangalatsa limodzi ndi wokondedwa wanu. Koma iwo sali otsimikiza kwathunthu za kuopsa ndi kuya kwa maganizo ake kwa inu. Kodi ndi zizindikiro ziti zomwe zingasonyeze kuti mtima wa mnzako sunathe? Yofotokozedwa ndi wolemba Wendy Patrick.
Mwina mwasewerapo masewerawa kamodzi: mukukhala ndi mnzanu mu cafe ndikuyesera kudziwa kuti ndi maubwenzi otani omwe maanja ali nawo pamagome oyandikana nawo. Mwachitsanzo, awiri pa zenera sanatsegule n’komwe menyu — amakondana kwambiri moti sakumbukira n’komwe chifukwa chimene anadzera kuno. Mafoni awo am'manja amakankhidwira kumbali, zomwe zimawathandiza kukhala pafupi ndi mzake ndikulankhulana popanda kusokoneza. Mwina ili ndi tsiku lawo loyamba kapena chiyambi cha chibwenzi ...
Mosiyana kwambiri ndi anthu amwayi ameneŵa, pali okwatirana okalamba omwe ali pafupi ndi khitchini (mwinamwake ali ofulumira ndipo akufuna kupeza chakudya chawo mofulumira). Salankhulana ndipo amaoneka ngati sakudziwana ngakhale atakhala moyandikana. Zingaganizidwe kuti akhala m'banja kwa nthawi yaitali, onse ndi ovuta kumva ndipo amakhala omasuka ali chete (kulongosola mowolowa manja kwambiri!). Kapena akukumana ndi nthawi yovuta muubwenzi pompano. Mwa njira, iwonso sangakhale ndi mafoni patebulo, koma pazifukwa zina: samadikiriranso mafoni ndi mauthenga kuntchito, ndipo abwenzi osowa samafulumira kudzikumbutsa.
Komabe, banja lachikulire ili likhoza kukhala losangalatsa kwa inu, makamaka ngati muli paubwenzi wautali. Mutha kutsamira ndikunong'oneza mnzanuyo, "Tiyeni tiwonetsetse kuti izi sizichitika kwa ife." Koma kodi mungadziwe bwanji ngati mukuyenda m’njira yoyenera? Nawa malangizo omwe angakuthandizeni kudziwa momwe akumvera komanso mwakuya kwa mnzanuyo.
Chidwi chenicheni komanso chosatha
Kaya mwakhala limodzi kwa miyezi iwiri kapena zaka ziwiri, mnzanuyo alidi ndi chidwi ndi zomwe mukuganiza, zomwe mukufuna kunena, kapena zomwe mukufuna kuchita. Zimamukhudza kwambiri zomwe mumalota komanso zomwe mukuyembekezera, kuwonjezera apo, adzayesetsa kuti zokhumba zanu zikwaniritsidwe.
Kafukufuku wa Sandra Langeslag ndi anzake akuwonetsa kuti anthu omwe amakukondani ali ndi chidwi ndi chidziwitso chilichonse chokhudza moyo wanu, ngakhale zazing'ono kwambiri. Ataphunzira zambiri, amakumbukira zonse. Iye akufotokoza kuti chisangalalo chomwe chimatsagana ndi chikondi chachikondi chimakhudza kwambiri njira zachidziwitso.
Ngakhale kuti ophunzirawo anali okondana kwakanthawi kochepa, olembawo akuwonetsa kuti kukumbukira koteroko ndi kukhazikika kwa chidwi sikungochitika koyambirira, gawo lachikondi. Sandra Langeslag ndi anzake amakhulupirira kuti abwenzi amene akhala m'banja kwa zaka zambiri ndi chikondi kwambiri kwa wina ndi mzake amasonyeza chidwi zambiri zokhudza wokondedwa wawo, kokha limagwirira kale osiyana.
Anzanu osamala amawonetsa kudzipereka kwawo powonetsa kukhudzidwa kwenikweni ndi moyo wanu kunja kwa nyumba.
Popeza kuti muubwenzi wanthaŵi yaitali sichikhalanso chisangalalo chimene chimabwera patsogolo, koma kumverera kwa chikondi ndi zokumana nazo pamodzi, ndicho chokumana nacho chosonkhanitsidwa chimenechi chomwe chimakhala ndi gawo lofunika kwambiri pa chidwi cha chidziwitso chokhudza mwamuna kapena mkazi.
Funso lina ndi momwe abwenzi amatayira chidziwitsochi chomwe adalandira. Izi zikuwonetsa ubale wawo weniweni kwa wina ndi mnzake. Munthu wachikondi amafuna kukusangalatsani. Amagwiritsa ntchito zambiri za inu (zomwe mumakonda, kuyambira pa zokonda mpaka nyimbo mpaka zakudya zomwe mumakonda) kuti akusangalatseni ndi kusangalala nanu.
Anzanu osamala omwe ali pachibwenzi kwanthawi yayitali amawonetsa kudzipereka pakukhudzidwa ndi moyo wanu kunja kwa banja. Amafuna kudziwa momwe kukambirana kovuta ndi abwana kunapita sabata ino, kapena ngati mudasangalala ndi gawoli ndi mphunzitsi watsopano. Amafunsa za abwenzi ndi ogwira nawo ntchito omwe amawadziwa ndi mayina chifukwa amakukondani komanso moyo wanu.
Kuvomereza kwa Chikondi
Wokondedwa yemwe amabwereza nthawi zonse momwe analiri ndi mwayi kukumana nanu ndikukhala nanu, mwinamwake, ndi momwe amamvera. Kuyamikira kumeneku kumakhala koyenera nthawi zonse, kumasonyeza kuti akadali m'chikondi ndi inu. Chonde dziwani kuti kuzindikira uku sikukugwirizana ndi momwe mumawonekera, ndi maluso ati omwe mwapatsidwa, kaya zonse zikugwa m'manja mwanu lero kapena ayi. Izi ndi za inu monga munthu - ndipo ichi ndiye chiyamikiro chabwino koposa chonse.
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Poganizira zonse zomwe zili pamwambazi, ndizosavuta kumvetsetsa kuti mnzanu amakukondanibe. Koma nkhani zazitali za chikondi, kusilira ndi kudzipereka sizichitika mwangozi. Nthawi zambiri, amawonetsa kuyesetsa kwa onse awiri kuti akhale ndi ubale wabwino. Ndipo gawo lalikulu pakusamalira mosamala mgwirizano wanu limaseweredwa ndi chidwi, chidwi, kuvomerezana ndi kulemekezana wina ndi mnzake.
Za Wolemba: Wendy Patrick ndi mlembi wa Red Flags: Momwe Mungadziwire Anzanu Abodza, Saboteurs, and Ruthless People.