Mmene Mungadziwire Kuti Mwakonzeka Kukhala ndi Mwana

Mawa? Sabata lamawa? Patapita miyezi sikisi? Kapena mwina pompano? Timadutsa mafunso omwe ali m'maganizo mwathu ndikukambirana ndi mnzathuyo, ndikuyembekeza kuti izi zidzamveketsa bwino. Achibale amawonjezera moto ndi malangizo akuti: “Muli ndi chilichonse, ndiye mukuyembekezera chiyani?” Komano, "mudakali wamng'ono, bwanji fulumirani."

Kodi ilipo nthawi "yoyenera" yomwe moyo wanu umayenda ndi koloko, muli wodzaza ndi mphamvu, wokondedwa ndi wokonzeka kubwezeretsa? Kwa ena, izi zikutanthauza kungomvetsera nokha. Wina, m'malo mwake, sakhulupirira zomverera ndipo amafuna kuganiza mwachinthu chilichonse chaching'ono. Ndipo akatswiri amati chiyani?

Chifukwa chiyani tsopano? Kodi ndikuchita izi pazifukwa "zomveka"?

Katswiri wamabanja a Helen Lefkowitz akuwonetsa kuyambira pafunso lalikulu: kodi mukumva bwino tsopano? Kodi mwakhutitsidwa ndi zomwe mukuchita? Kodi munganene kuti (mwambiri) mumakonda moyo wanu?

“Kumbukirani kuti kulera mwana ndi chiyeso, ndipo zonong’oneza bondo zonse ndi kukaikira zimene zingayambike m’moyo wanu zingayambike ndi nyonga yatsopano,” iye akuchenjeza motero. - Zimakhala zoipitsitsa pamene mkazi akufuna kukhala ndi mwana pazifukwa zina zachilendo. Mwachitsanzo, iye sakanakhoza kupanga ntchito, iye wotopa ndi moyo. Choipa kwambiri n’chakuti, akazi ena amatengera mimba monga njira yomalizira yopulumutsira ukwati wolephera.”

Mulimonsemo, kudzakhala kosavuta kwa inu kukonzekera kudzipereka kwa munthu wina pamene inu nokha muli okondwa ndi inu nokha, moyo wanu, ndi mnzanuyo. “Monga mmene kasitomala wanga wina ananenera, “Ndimafuna kudziona inemwini ndi amene ndimamkonda kwambiri mwana wathu monga ophatikiza aŵirife,” akutero mlangizi wabanja Carol Lieber Wilkins.

Kodi mwakonzeka kulolerana zomwe zingabwere pamodzi ndi kulera komanso ngakhale kale? "Kodi ndinu wololera kusinthanitsa ufulu wodziyimira pawokha komanso kukhazikika pakukonzekera ndi kukonza? Ngati kale simunali womasuka, kodi ndinu wokonzeka kumasuka ndi udindo wa munthu wapakhomo? akutero Carol Wilkins. “Ngakhale kuti kukonzekera mwana nthaŵi zambiri kumaphatikizapo kulosera za ubwana wanu wakutali, kumbukirani kuti imeneyinso ndi siteji yatsopano kwa inu monga munthu wamkulu.”

Kodi mnzanga wakonzeka kuchita izi?

Nthaŵi zina pamene mmodzi wa aŵiriwo agunda mpweya pang’ono ndipo winayo agunda pang’ono, amatha kufika pa liŵiro limene lingawathandize onsewo. “N’kofunika kwambiri kuti mnzanu amene amadzidalira kwambiri adziŵe kumvetsera kwa mnzakeyo ndi kumvera nkhaŵa zake ndi ndemanga zake,” akutero katswiri wa zamaganizo Rosalyn Blogier. "Nthawi zina zimakhala zothandiza kulankhula ndi abwenzi apamtima omwe ali ndi ana kuti adziwe momwe amachitira ndi nkhani - monga kukonza ndandanda yawo."

“Anthu okwatirana amene ndimada nkhaŵa nawo kwambiri ndi amene sanalankhule kwenikweni za kukhala ndi ana asanakwatirane ndiyeno mwadzidzidzi anapeza kuti wina akufuna kukhala kholo pamene winayo sanatero,” akutero Blogier.

Ngati mukudziwa kuti mnzanuyo akufuna kukhala ndi mwana koma sanakonzekere, ndi bwino kudziwa chomwe chikumulepheretsa. Mwinamwake iye amawopa kusapirira kulemedwa kwa udindo: ngati mukukonzekera kutenga tchuthi cha makolo, mtolo wonse wochirikiza banja ukhoza kugwera pa iye. Kapena mwina anali ndi ubale wovuta ndi abambo ake ndipo adzabwereza zolakwa zake.

Dziwani kuti zingakhale zachilendo kwa mnzanu kugawana chikondi, chikondi ndi chisamaliro ndi mwana. Lililonse la mavutowa lingakhale nthawi yoti mukambirane moona mtima. Ngati mukuwona kuti ndizofunikira, funsani sing'anga yemwe mumamudziwa kapena gulu lothandizira. Musachite manyazi ndi kukayikira kwanu, koma musakokomezenso. Kumbukirani: pamene tsogolo lidzawoneka, limakhala lowoneka ndi lowoneka, mantha amachoka. Ndipo amalowedwa m'malo ndi chiyembekezo.

Kodi pali chifukwa chilichonse chozengereza?

Okwatirana ena angakhale odera nkhaŵa za ndalama kapena ntchito. Mutha kukhala mukufunsa mafunso monga "Kodi tidikire mpaka tigule nyumba ndikukhazikika?" Kapena zingaoneke zachilendo kwa inu: “Mwina tiyenera kudikira kufikira nditayamba kuphunzitsa, pamenepo ndidzakhala ndi nthaŵi yowonjezereka ndi nyonga yoperekera kwa mwanayo.” Kapena, “Mwina tidikire mpaka tisunge ndalama zokwanira kuti ndikhale ndi nthawi ndi mphamvu zambiri.”

Kumbali ina, okwatirana ambiri akuda nkhaŵa momveka bwino ponena za kubereka kwawo. Mwina mwaonapo anzanu kapena anzanu akuyesa kukhala ndi pakati kwa zaka zambiri, akudutsa m’zipatala zosatha za kubala, ndikudandaula chifukwa chimene sanachisamalire msanga.

Tsoka ilo, ena amanyalanyaza funso lalikulu loyenera kulabadira: Kodi ubale wathu wakonzekera izi? Njira yabwino kwambiri ndi pamene okwatirana amapatula nthawi kuti ayese malingaliro awo kuti athe kusinthana ndi ubereki popanda kuganiza kuti mbali ina yofunika ya ubale wawo ikuperekedwa nsembe.

Popeza kuti kulera kwathu kochuluka n’kwachibadwa, n’kothandiza, ngati sikofunikira, kuganiza kuti ubwenziwo uli ndi maziko olimba.

Tangoganizani momwe zingakhalire kugawana nthawi yanu osati ndi mnzanu, komanso ndi munthu wina. Osati kokha ndi munthu - ndi munthu amene amafuna chidwi chanu usana ndi usiku.

Ngati ubale wanu ufika pokangana za "chilungamo" ndi "kugawana udindo", muyenera kuyesetsabe pang'ono. Ganizilani izi: ngati mukukangana kuti ndi nthawi ya ndani yoti mutulutse zovala kuchokera ku makina ochapira kapena kutenga zinyalala kumalo otayirako zinyalala, mungakhale "timu" mutakhala usiku wonse ndipo wolera ana ndipo popita kwa makolo anu mupeza kuti matewera alibe.

Kodi mumadziwa bwanji kuti mudzakhala kholo labwino?

Tikukhala m'gulu lomwe limakonda kulera ana ndipo limapangitsa maanja nthawi zina kukhala ndi zofuna zazikulu kuti akhale achikondi ndi okakamiza, opita patsogolo ndi ochenjera, okonzeka komanso okonzeka kuyesera.

Yendani m'sitolo iliyonse yosungiramo mabuku ndipo mudzawona mashelefu odzaza ndi mabuku olerera ana kuyambira "momwe mungalere luso" mpaka "momwe mungachitire ndi wachinyamata wopanduka." N'zosadabwitsa kuti zibwenzi angamve «osayenera» zimenezi lalikulu ntchito pasadakhale.

Palibe aliyense wa ife amene anabadwa woyenerera kukhala kholo. Monga m’zochita zina zilizonse za moyo, pano tili ndi mphamvu ndi zofooka. Chofunika kwambiri ndi kukhala woona mtima ndi kuvomereza malingaliro osiyanasiyana, kuchokera ku kusamvana, mkwiyo ndi kukhumudwa kupita ku chisangalalo, kunyada ndi kukhutira.

Kodi mumakonzekera bwanji kusintha komwe mwatsala pang'ono kukumana nako?

Mimba ndi kubadwa kwa mwana nthawi zonse ndi "kuzindikira mu mphamvu". Choncho, tinganene kuti simungakhale okonzeka kutero. Komabe, ngati muli ndi chikaiko pa chinachake, muyenera kukambirana ndi mnzanuyo. Pamodzi muyenera kusankha momwe tandem yanu idzagwiritsire ntchito, kutengera zochitika zosiyanasiyana. Mimba ingakhale yovuta, koma mukhoza kuganizira njira zochepetsera moyo wanu.

Muyenera kukambirana ngati mukufuna kuuza anzanu ndi achibale kuti mukuyesera kukhala ndi mwana, kapena dikirani mpaka kumapeto kwa trimester yoyamba, mwachitsanzo, ndi nkhani. M’kupita kwa nthaŵi, muyenera kukambitsirana ngati mungathe kupereka munthu wina kukhala panyumba ndi mwanayo, kapena ngati mungagwiritsire ntchito chithandizo cha wolera ana.

Koma ngakhale mapulani okonzedwa bwino angasinthe. Chinthu chachikulu apa ndikumvetsetsa komwe zopereka ndi zokonda zimathera ndi malamulo okhwima amayamba. Pamapeto pake, mukukonzekera kugwirizanitsa moyo wanu ndi mlendo wathunthu. Ndicho chimene ubale uli wonse: kulumpha kwakukulu kwa chikhulupiriro. Koma anthu ambiri amachita zimenezi mosangalala.