Kodi n'zotheka kukhala ndi chimwemwe ndi chimwemwe panthawi yachisoni chachikulu? Kodi tingapulumuke bwanji mikangano yomwe simatha ndi kuchoka kwa okondedwa, kupitiriza kutisokoneza ndi kudziimba mlandu? Ndi momwe mungaphunzire kukhala ndi kukumbukira kwa akufa - akatswiri a zamaganizo amati.
“Ndili m’kafiteriya ya muofesi, ndinamva kukambitsirana koseketsa kwa amayi aŵiri amene anakhala chapafupi. Zinali ndendende nthabwala zachipongwe zomwe ine ndi amayi anga tidakondwera nazo kwambiri. Amayi ankaoneka kuti sakugwirizana nane, ndipo tinayamba kuseka kwambiri. Alexandra ali ndi zaka 37, zaka zisanu zapitazo amayi ake anamwalira mwadzidzidzi. Kwa zaka ziwiri, chisoni, "lakuthwa ngati mbola," sanamulole kuti akhale ndi moyo wabwinobwino. Pomalizira pake, pambuyo pa miyezi yambiri, misozi inatha, ndipo ngakhale kuti kuvutikako sikunathe, kunasandulika kukhala kumverera kwa kukhalapo kwakunja kwa wokondedwa. «Ndikumva kuti ali pafupi ndi ine, wodekha komanso wachimwemwe, kuti tilinso ndi zinsinsi zofanana., zomwe zinali nthawi zonse ndipo sizinathe ndi imfa yake; Alexandra anatero. Ndizovuta kumvetsa ndi kufotokoza. Mchimwene wanga amaona kuti izi ndi zachilendo. Ngakhale kuti sakunena kuti ndine wopenga kapena wopenga, amaganiza choncho. Tsopano sindikuuza aliyense za izi. "
Sikophweka nthawi zonse kukumana ndi akufa mu chikhalidwe chathu, kumene kuli kofunikira kuthetsa chisoni cha munthu mwamsanga ndikuyang'ananso dziko lapansi ndi chiyembekezo kuti tisasokoneze ena. “Sitingathenso kumvetsa za akufa, kukhalapo kwawo, akulemba motero Tobie Nathan katswiri wa zamaganizo. “Chigwirizano chokha chimene tingathe kukhala nacho ndi akufa ndicho kumva kuti akali ndi moyo. Koma ena nthawi zambiri amawona izi ngati chizindikiro cha kudalira maganizo ndi ukhanda.1.
Njira yayitali yovomerezeka
Ngati tingagwirizane ndi wokondedwa, ntchito yamaliro imachitidwa. Aliyense amachita pa liwiro lake. “Kwa milungu, miyezi, zaka, munthu wolira amavutika ndi malingaliro ake onse,” akufotokoza motero katswiri wa zamaganizo Nadine Beauthéac.2. - Aliyense amakumana ndi nthawi imeneyi mosiyana.: Kwa ena, chisoni sichimachoka, kwa ena chimangopita nthawi ndi nthawi - koma kwa aliyense chimatha ndi kubwerera ku moyo.
"Kusowa kwakunja kumasinthidwa ndi kukhalapo kwamkati"
Sizokhudza kuvomereza kutayika - kwenikweni, sikutheka kugwirizana ndi imfa ya wokondedwa - koma za kuvomereza zomwe zinachitika, kuzizindikira, kuphunzira kukhala nazo. Kuchokera mumayendedwe amkati awa, malingaliro atsopano okhudza imfa ... ndi moyo amabadwa. "Kusakhalapo kwakunja kumasinthidwa ndi kukhalapo kwamkati," akupitiliza Nadine Boteac. Ndipo osati chifukwa chakuti wakufayo amatikopa, kuti kulira sikungatheke, kapena kuti pali chinachake cholakwika ndi ife.
Palibe malamulo wamba pano. “Aliyense amalimbana ndi kuvutika kwake mmene angathere. Ndikofunika kumvera nokha, osati "malangizo abwino," akuchenjeza Nadine Boteak. - Pambuyo pake, amauza olira kuti: Osasunga chilichonse chakukumbutsani za wakufayo; musalankhulenso za iye; nthawi yochuluka kwambiri yapita; moyo umapitirira… Awa ndi malingaliro abodza a m'maganizo omwe amayambitsa kuvutika kwatsopano ndikuwonjezera kudzimva wolakwa ndi kuwawidwa mtima.
Maubwenzi Osakwanira
Choonadi china: mikangano, malingaliro otsutsana omwe timakumana nawo pokhudzana ndi munthu, samachoka naye. “Zimakhala m’miyoyo yathu ndipo zimakhala ngati magwero a mavuto,” akutsimikizira motero katswiri wa zamaganizo ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Marie-Frédérique Bacqué. Achinyamata opanduka amene amataya mmodzi wa makolo awo, okwatirana osudzulidwa, mmodzi wa iwo amafa, wachikulire amene, kuyambira ubwana wake, anakhala ndi maunansi oipa ndi mlongo wake, amene anamwalira . . .
"Monga kulumikizana ndi anthu amoyo: maubwenzi adzakhala enieni, abwino komanso odekha tikamvetsetsa ndikuvomereza zabwino ndi zoyipa za omwe adachoka"
Kodi mungapulumuke bwanji kukulitsa malingaliro otsutsana ndikuyamba kudziimba mlandu? Koma nthawi zina maganizo amenewa amabwera. “Nthaŵi zina mongoyerekezera ndi maloto amene amabweretsa mafunso ovuta,” akufotokoza motero katswiri wa zamaganizo. - Maganizo oyipa kapena otsutsana pa wakufayo angadziwonetserenso mwa mawonekedwe a matenda osamvetsetseka kapena chisoni chachikulu. Polephera kudziŵa gwero la kuvutika kwawo, munthu nthaŵi zambiri angafunefune thandizo popanda phindu. Ndipo chifukwa cha psychotherapy kapena psychoanalysis, zikuwonekeratu kuti muyenera kugwira ntchito pa maubwenzi ndi wakufayo, ndipo kwa kasitomala izi zimasintha chirichonse.
Mphamvu zofunika
Kulumikizana ndi akufa kuli ndi zinthu zofanana ndi kugwirizana ndi amoyo.: maubale adzakhala enieni, abwino ndi odekha tikamvetsetsa ndikuvomereza zabwino ndi zoyipa za omwe adachoka ndikuganiziranso momwe timamvera. “Ichi ndicho chipatso cha ntchito yotsirizidwa yakulira: timapendanso mbali za unansi ndi wakufayo ndipo timafika potsimikiza kuti tasunga chinachake m’chikumbukiro cha iye chimene chalola kapena kutilolabe kudziumba,” akutero Marie. - Frédéric Baquet.
Makhalidwe abwino, makhalidwe, nthawi zina zitsanzo zotsutsana - zonsezi zimapanga mphamvu yofunikira yomwe imafalikira kuchokera ku mibadwomibadwo. Philip, wazaka 45 zakubadwa, anati: “Kuona mtima ndi mzimu wankhondo wa atate wanga umakhalabe mwa ine, monga injini yofunika kwambiri. “Imfa yake zaka zisanu ndi chimodzi zapitazo inandipundula kwambiri. Moyo wabwerera pamene ndinayamba kumva kuti mzimu wake, mawonekedwe ake amawonekera mwa ine.
1 T. Nathan "Kutanthauzira kwatsopano kwa maloto"), Odile Jacob, 2011.
2 N.Beauthéac «Mayankho zana a mafunso okhudza maliro ndi chisoni» (Albin Michel, 2010).