Zamkatimu
M'mabanja omwe ali ndi zikhalidwe zosiyanasiyana, zimakhala zovuta kuti amvetsetse. Anthu okwatirana akayamba kukhalira limodzi, kusiyana kwa kamvekedwe ka moyo ndi zokonda kungawononge ubalewo. Kodi mungapewe bwanji? Malangizo ochokera kwa Sophia Dembling, wolemba buku lodziwika bwino la The Introvert Way.
1. Kambiranani malire
Ma introverts amakonda malire (ngakhale sakuvomereza). Amamva bwino m'malo odziwika bwino, odziwika bwino. Izi zikugwiranso ntchito kuzinthu zonse ndi miyambo. “Kodi ukutenganso mahedifoni anga? N'chifukwa chiyani mwasinthanso mpando wanga? Watsuka chipinda chako, koma tsopano sindikupeza kalikonse. Zochita zomwe zimawoneka ngati zachilengedwe kwa inu zitha kuwonedwa ndi okondedwa wanu ngati kulowerera.
Sophia Dembling anati: “Zimakhala bwino ngati mnzako womasuka alemekeza malo a munthu winayo. Koma zimenezi sizikutanthauza kuti muyenera kuiwala za inu nokha. Monga m'mikhalidwe ina, kulolerana ndikofunikira pano. Khalani ndi nthawi yokambirana za mtundu wa malo omwe aliyense wa inu amapeza bwino. Lembani nthawi pamene muli ndi kusamvana - osati kusonyeza mnzanuyo «bilu», koma kupenda iwo ndi kumvetsa mmene kupewa mikangano.
2. Osatengera zomwe okondedwa wako akuchita
Oleg amalankhula mokondwera za malingaliro ake a momwe angagwiritsire ntchito kumapeto kwa sabata. Koma Katya sakuwoneka kuti amamumva: amayankha mu monosyllables, amalankhula mopanda chidwi. Oleg akuyamba kuganiza kuti: "Chavuta ndi chiyani? Ndi chifukwa cha ine? Apanso sakusangalala ndi chinachake. Mwina amaganiza kuti ndimangoganizira zosangalatsa.
“Anthu olankhula mawu osonyeza kuti akulankhula nawo angaoneke achisoni kapena okwiya. Koma izi sizikutanthauza kuti ali okwiya kapena achisoni. ”
Sophia Dembling akufotokoza kuti: “Anthu odzionetsera akhoza kudzipatula n’cholinga choti amvetsere, kuganizira za mfundo yofunika kwambiri kapena zimene aona. - Nthawi ngati zimenezi amaoneka achisoni, osakhutira kapena okwiya. Koma zimenezi sizikutanthauza kuti alidi okwiya kapena achisoni. Zomverera za ma introverts sizimawonekera nthawi zonse, ndipo mudzafunika kukhudzidwa kwambiri kuti muwazindikire.
3. Phunzitsani kufunsa mafunso
Chimodzi mwazodziwika bwino zamalingaliro a introverts ndi chikhulupiriro chakuti ena amawona ndikumvetsetsa zomwe amawona ndikumvetsetsa. Mwachitsanzo, munthu wamba akhoza kukhala mochedwa kuntchito ndipo osaganizira n'komwe za kuchenjeza mnzanu za izi. Kapena pitani kumzinda wina osanena kalikonse. Zochita zoterezi zingakwiyitse ndi kuyambitsa malingaliro oipidwa: “Kodi sakumvetsa kuti ndili ndi nkhawa?”
"Njira yothandiza apa ndikufunsa ndikumvetsera," akutero Sofia Dembling. Kodi wokondedwa wanu akuda nkhawa ndi chiyani pompano? Kodi angakonde kukambirana chiyani? Kodi angafune kugawana nawo chiyani? Fotokozerani mnzanuyo kuti kulankhulana kwanu ndi malo otetezeka kumene safunikira kudziteteza ndikusankha mawu ake mosamala.
4. Sankhani nthawi yoyenera kulankhula
Ma introverts ali ndi mbiri yochita zinthu mochedwa. Zingakhale zovuta kwa iwo kupanga malingaliro awo nthawi yomweyo, kuyankha mwachangu funso lanu kapena lingaliro latsopano. Ngati mukufuna kukambirana nkhani yofunika, funsani mnzanuyo nthawi yomwe ingakhale yabwino kuti achite izi. Khalani ndi nthawi yokhazikika yokambilana mapulani, mavuto, ndi malingaliro okhudza moyo wanu pamodzi.
"Kwa munthu woyamba, bwenzi lachangu litha kukhala lothandiza kwambiri."
Sophia Dembling anati: “Kwa munthu wongolankhula, bwenzi lokangalika lingakhale lothandiza kwambiri pankhani ya kupanga chosankha chovuta kapena kusintha chinachake chokhudza iwe mwini. - Chimodzi mwa zitsanzo zomwe ndimakonda kwambiri m'bukuli ndi nkhani ya Kristen, yemwe amagwiritsidwa ntchito "kusesa pansi pa kapeti" zovuta zonse zokhudzana ndi maubwenzi. Koma anakwatiwa ndi mwamuna wokangalika amene nthawi zonse ankamulimbikitsa kuchitapo kanthu, ndipo ankamuyamikira.
5. Kumbukirani: introvert sikutanthauza mlendo
Anton anazindikira kuti Olga anapita ku makalasi ovina osamuuza chilichonse. Poyankha kusakhutira kwake, adayesa kudzilungamitsa: "Chabwino, pali anthu ambiri kumeneko, nyimbo zaphokoso. Simumakonda izi. ” Izi zimachitikanso kwa anthu omwe ali ndi zikhalidwe zosiyanasiyana. Poyamba, okwatirana amayesa kusinthana. Koma kenako amatopa ndikugwera m'malo ena - "aliyense payekha."
Sofia Dembling anati: “Mnzakoyo angakonde kukhala ndi mabwenzi kapena kumaimba nanu. "Koma kwa iye, funso la"momwe" lingakhale lofunika kwambiri kuposa" chiyani". Mwachitsanzo, sakonda kuvina koopsa kwa Chilatini, koma mokondwera amayankha kuti aphunzire kuvina waltz, kumene mayendedwe ake amayeretsedwa komanso okoma. Mutha kupeza njira yachitatu yomwe ingagwirizane ndi zonsezi. Koma chifukwa cha izi muyenera kukhudzana wina ndi mzake ndipo musayang'ane maubwenzi ngati njira yopanda malire yokhala ndi zitseko zotsekedwa.