Momwe mungakanganire bwino: Zochita 8 zolimbikitsa maubwenzi mwa anthu okwatirana

Mess. Ndalama. Mafunso a maphunziro. Mu ubale uliwonse pali zowawa, zokambirana zomwe zimatsogolera ku mikangano yosasinthika. Panthawi imodzimodziyo, mkanganowo ndi wothandiza ndipo ndi gawo la chiyanjano, chifukwa popanda mikangano palibe chitukuko. Koma m’chikhalidwe cha kumenyana kwa okwatirana, pali ntchito yoti ichitidwe kuchepetsa mikangano kapena kuithetsa m’njira yomangirira.

Ambiri amamenyana mwaukali ndipo amakhumudwitsa okwatirana onse, kapena amangokhalira kukambitsirana mobwerezabwereza. Bwezerani izi ndi zopindulitsa.

Chitani masewera olimbitsa thupi pang'ono sabata iliyonse kuti akuthandizeni kuzindikira magawo ena a ndewu ndikukulitsa luso lozindikira nthawi yomwe muli ndi mnzanu. Mudzawona zotsatira mu masabata asanu ndi atatu.

Sabata yoyamba

Vuto: Mitu Yokhumudwitsa Yaubwenzi

N’chifukwa chiyani sutseka mankhwala otsukira mano? N’chifukwa chiyani munaika galasi lanu m’chotsukira mbale m’malo moliika nthawi yomweyo? Bwanji mukusiya zinthu zanu paliponse?

Banja lirilonse liri ndi mitu imeneyi. Komabe, pali zochitika zomwe kuphulika kumachitika. Kupanikizika, kugwira ntchito mopitirira muyeso komanso kusowa nthawi ndizomwe zimayambitsa mikangano. Zikatero, kulankhulana kumachepetsedwa kukhala kulimbana kwapakamwa, monga mu kanema wa "Groundhog Day", mwachitsanzo, adasewera chimodzimodzi.

Kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi

Seweraninso tsiku lanu kapena, ngati simukukhala limodzi, sabata / mwezi m'mutu mwanu. Tsatani mikangano ikayamba: m'mawa ndi banja lonse, pamene aliyense akufulumira kwinakwake? Kapena Lamlungu, pamene pambuyo pa Loweruka ndi Lamlungu mumapitanso “pakatikati” mkati mwa mlungu? Kapena ndi ulendo wamagalimoto? Yang'anani ndipo khalani owona mtima nokha. Okwatirana ambiri amadziŵa bwino za mkhalidwe woterowo.

Ganizirani zomwe zimayambitsa kupsinjika mu mikangano ndi momwe mungakonzere. Nthawi zina njira yosavuta ndiyo kukhazikitsa nthawi yochulukirapo yokonzekera kusintha kuchokera kumodzi kupita kwina kapena kuganiza zotsazikana (m'malo molimbana nthawi iliyonse). Mapeto aliwonse omwe mungafikire, ingoyesani. Lankhulani ndi wokondedwa wanu za momwe amamvera pazochitika zokhumudwitsa, ndipo ganizirani pamodzi zomwe mukufuna kusintha.

zofunika: Ntchitoyi ndi mtundu wa masewera olimbitsa thupi. Aliyense amene watha kuzindikira mikangano yodzala ndi mikangano mosakayikira samadziŵa chifukwa chake amakwiyira chonchi kapena chimene chinamupweteka kwambiri. Komabe, kusintha zinthu zingapo zakunja ndi gawo lomwe lingathandize kuchepetsa mikangano yomwe imabwerezedwa.

Sabata yachiwiri

Vuto: Ndakwiya chifukwa chiyani?

Tsopano tiyeni tione chifukwa chake nthawi zina mumachita mwamphamvu kwambiri. Mukukumbukira funso la sabata yatha? Zinali za vuto limene nthawi zambiri limayambitsa mkangano. Tiyeni tiwone momwe mukumvera pakadali pano ndikuphunzira momwe mungapewere. Ndipotu, mwa kumvetsa chifukwa chimene mumakwiyira kapena kukwiyitsidwa, mukhoza kufotokoza maganizo anu mwanjira ina.

Kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi

Tengani pepala ndi cholembera. Tangoganizani momwe zinthu zilili ndi mkangano ndikukhala ngati wowonera mkati: zomwe zikuchitika mkati mwanu pakadali pano? Nchiyani chakukwiyitsani, chomwe chimakukwiyitsani, chifukwa chiyani mwakhumudwitsidwa?

Chomwe chimayambitsa mkwiyo ndi mikangano ndikuti sitiwonedwa, osatengedwa mozama, timamva kuti ndife ogwiritsidwa ntchito kapena osafunika. Yesani kunena momveka bwino m'masentensi awiri kapena atatu zomwe zakukhumudwitsani.

zofunika: ndizotheka kuti mnzakeyo amakuponderezadi kapena sakuzindikira. Koma mwina maganizo anu akukunyengeni. Ngati mutapeza kuti mnzanuyo sanachite cholakwika chilichonse, ndipo mukumukwiyira, dzifunseni kuti: Kodi ndingadziwe bwanji vutoli? Kodi ndakumanapo ndi zomwezi m'moyo wanga? Funso ili ndi "ntchito yowonjezera". Ngati mukuona kuti yankho lake ndi inde, yesani kukumbukira kapena kumva mmene zinthu zinalili.

M'sabatayi, yesani kumvetsetsa chifukwa chomwe mukuyankhira mwamphamvu pa mutu wina kapena khalidwe linalake la wokondedwa wanu. Ngati zifika pa ndewu kachiwiri, yesetsani kukhala chete ndikudziyang'ana nokha ndi malingaliro anu. Kuchita izi sikophweka, koma kudzakuthandizani kuzindikira zambiri. Panthawi ya maphunziro mudzakhalabe ndi mwayi wouza mnzanuyo kuti simukukhutira, bola ngati simukuthamangira milandu.

Sabata lachitatu

Vuto: Sindinganene kuti “imani” pakapita nthawi

M’mikangano, zinthu nthawi zambiri zimafika povuta kwambiri, pomwe mkangano umayamba. Zimakhala zovuta kuzindikira mphindi iyi ndikusokoneza mkanganowo. Komabe, kuyimitsa uku kungathandize kusintha ndondomekoyi. Ndipo ngakhale kuletsa mkangano sikungathetse mikangano, makamaka izi zidzapewa kutukwana kopanda pake.

Kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi

Ngati pali mkangano wina kapena mkangano sabata ino, dziyang'aneni nokha. Dzifunseni nokha: ndi pati pamene kukambitsirana kwakukulu kumasanduka mkangano weniweni? Amakhala wankhanza liti? Mudzadziwa mphindi ino ndi mfundo yakuti mudzakhala osamasuka.

Yesani panthawiyi kusokoneza mkanganowo ponena kuti "imani" nokha. Kenako muuzeni mnzanuyo kuti pamalo ano mukufuna kuthetsa mkangano. Sankhani izi, mwachitsanzo, mawu ngati awa: "Sindimakondanso izi, chonde, tiyeni tiyime."

Ngati mwatsala pang’ono kusweka, munganenenso kuti: “Ndili pampando, sindikufuna kupitiriza kukangana motere. Ndikhalapo kwakanthawi, koma ndibwera posachedwa. ” Kusokoneza koteroko kumakhala kovuta ndipo kwa anthu ena kumaoneka ngati chizindikiro cha kufooka, ngakhale kuti ichi ndi chizindikiro cha mphamvu.

Tip: ngati ubwenzi uli zaka zambiri, nthawi zambiri nonse inu mukudziwa kumene mfundo imene khalidwe loipa kwambiri mkangano amayamba. Kenako lankhulanani za izi, perekani mkanganowo dzina, bwerani ndi mawu achinsinsi omwe angakhale chizindikiro choyimitsa. Mwachitsanzo, "tornado", "saladi ya phwetekere", pamene mmodzi wa inu akunena izi, nonse mukuyesera kuthetsa mkangano.

Sabata yachinayi

Vuto: Kulimbana ndi Mphamvu mu Maubwenzi

Kawirikawiri zosapitirira theka la ola ndizokwanira pa mkangano uliwonse. Koma ndewu zambiri nthawi zambiri zimatenga nthawi yayitali. Chifukwa chiyani? Chifukwa amasanduka kulimbana ndi mphamvu, wina amafuna kulamulira kapena kulamulira mnzake, zomwe sizingatheke komanso zosafunika mu chiyanjano.

Ntchitoyi ikuthandizani kumvetsetsa zomwe mukuyesera kukwaniritsa: mukufuna yankho la funso? Fotokozani chinachake? Kapena khalani olondola / olondola ndikupambana?

Kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi

Werengani ziganizo ziwiri izi:

• "Wokondedwa wanga ayenera kusintha motere: ..."
• "Mkazi wanga ndi amene ali ndi mlandu pa izi chifukwa ..."

Malizitsani ziganizo izi polemba ndikuwona kuchuluka kwa zomwe mukufuna ndikunyoza zomwe mumapereka kwa okondedwa wanu. Ngati alipo ambiri, ndizotheka kuti mukufuna kusintha mnzanuyo mogwirizana ndi malingaliro anu. Ndipo mwina kuyambitsa mikangano yaitali chifukwa mukufuna kusintha zinthu. Kapena mumagwiritsa ntchito mkangano ngati mtundu wa «kubwezera» kwa chipongwe choyambirira.

Ngati mwazindikira tsopano izi, mwachitapo kanthu. Gawo lachiwiri la maphunzirowa ndikudzipereka sabata ino pamutu wakuti "mphamvu ndi ulamuliro" ndikuyankha (makamaka polemba) mafunso otsatirawa:

• Kodi ndizofunika kwa ine kuti ndikhale ndi mawu omaliza?
• Ndizovuta kuti ndipepese?
• Kodi ndikufuna kuti wokondedwa wanga asinthe kwambiri?
• Kodi ndili ndi cholinga chotani (cholinga) pakuwunika udindo wanga pamenepa?
• Kodi ndingapite kwa wina, ngakhale atandikhumudwitsa?

Ngati muyankha moona mtima, mudzamvetsetsa mwamsanga ngati mutu wa kulimbana ndi mphamvu uli pafupi ndi inu kapena ayi. Ngati mukuwona kuti ili ndilo vuto lalikulu, phunzirani nkhaniyi mwatsatanetsatane, werengani, mwachitsanzo, mabuku okhudza izo kapena kambiranani ndi anzanu. Pokhapokha kulimbana kwa mphamvu kwachepetsedwa pang'ono, maphunzirowa adzagwira ntchito.

Sabata yachisanu

Vuto: "Simukundimvetsa!"

Anthu ambiri amavutika kumvetserana wina ndi mnzake. Ndipo pa mkangano, zimakhala zovuta kwambiri. Komabe, chikhumbo chofuna kumvetsetsa zomwe zikuchitika mkati mwa wina chingathandize m'mikhalidwe yovuta. Momwe mungagwiritsire ntchito chifundo kuti muchepetse kutentha?

Kusanthula kwa nkhaniyo ndi mnzanu kumatsogozedwa ndi mtundu wa kuwunikira komanso kuwunika. Ntchitoyo si kuyankha ndi chidziwitso pa mkangano, koma kudzifunsa zomwe zikuchitika mu moyo wa mnzanu. Pamkangano, kawirikawiri palibe aliyense amene ali ndi chidwi ndi malingaliro a mdani. Koma chifundo choterechi chingaphunzitsidwe.

Kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi

Pa ndewu sabata ino, yesetsani kumvetsera wokondedwa wanu momwe mungathere. Yesetsani kumvetsa mmene zinthu zilili pa moyo wake komanso maganizo ake. Mufunseni zomwe sakonda. Funsani chomwe chikumuvuta. Mulimbikitseni kuti alankhule zambiri za iye mwini, kulankhula momasuka.

"Kumvetsera mwachidwi" kumapereka mwayi kwa mnzanuyo kukhala womasuka, kumva kuti amvetsetsa komanso kukhala wokonzeka kugwirizana. Yesetsani kulankhulana motere nthawi ndi nthawi mkati mwa sabata ino (kuphatikiza ndi anthu ena omwe mumasemphana nawo). Ndipo muwone ngati kutsogolo "kutentha" kuchokera ku izi.

Tip: pali anthu achifundo otukuka kwambiri, okonzeka nthawi zonse kumvetsera. Komabe, m’chikondi, nthaŵi zambiri amachita zinthu mosiyana: chifukwa chakuti ali okhudzidwa kwambiri, amalephera kupatsa mnzake mpata woti alankhule m’mikangano. Dzifunseni nokha ngati izi zikukhudza inu. Ngati ndinudi munthu amene amamvera chisoni nthawi zonse, mwinanso kugonjera, yang'anani njira zolankhulirana zomwe mudzaphunzire sabata yamawa.

Sabata yachisanu ndi chimodzi

Mavuto: kumbukirani zonse. Yambani pang'onopang'ono!

Ngati mufotokoza zonena zonse zomwe zasonkhanitsidwa kwa zaka zambiri pa mkangano nthawi imodzi, izi zimabweretsa mkwiyo ndi kukhumudwa. Ndi bwino kuzindikira vuto limodzi laling'ono ndikukambirana.

Musanayambe kukambirana ndi bwenzi lanu, ganizirani za mkangano wamtundu wanji womwe mungafune kukambirana ndi zomwe zikuyenera kusintha kapena zomwe mungafune kuziwona muzochita za bwenzi losiyana kapena mtundu wina wa ubale. Yesani kupanga chiganizo chapadera, mwachitsanzo: "Ndikufuna kuti tichite zambiri pamodzi." Kapena: “Ndikufuna kuti muzilankhula nane ngati muli ndi vuto lililonse kuntchito,” kapena “Ndikufuna kuti muziyeretsanso m’nyumba kwa ola limodzi kapena aŵiri pamlungu.”

Ngati muyamba kukambirana ndi mnzanu ndi lingaliro ili, muyenera kuganizira zinthu zitatu:

1. Kumbukirani ndikuwonanso maupangiri a "kuphunzira kumvera" a sabata yatha ndikuwona ngati mwaphatikizirapo gawo lomvetsera mwachidwi gawo lofotokozera lisanachitike. Amene ali ndi chidwi chofuna kumvetsera nthawi zina sakhala ndi zovuta zambiri pofotokozera.
2. Khalani wolimbikira m'chikhumbo chanu, koma sonyezani kumvetsetsa. Nenani zinthu monga, "Ndikudziwa kuti mulibe nthawi yochuluka, koma ndikufuna kuti tichite zochulukirapo." Kapena: "Ndikudziwa kuti simukonda kuphika mbale, koma tikhoza kukambirana chifukwa ndikufuna kuti mutenge nawo mbali poyeretsa nyumbayo." Pokhala ndi mawu ochezeka mukamagwiritsa ntchito njirayi, mudzaonetsetsa kuti mnzanuyo amvetsetsa kuti mafunsowa ndi ofunika kwa inu.
3. Chenjerani ndi zofewa «Ine-mauthenga»! Ngakhale ziganizo zakuti “Ndikufuna…” zikugwirizana ndi njira yodziwika bwino yomwe imati "mauthenga" ayenera kugwiritsidwa ntchito pomenya nkhondo, musapitirire. Apo ayi, zidzawoneka kwa mnzanuyo zabodza kapena zodzipatula kwambiri.

Ndikofunika kudziletsa ku funso limodzi. Ndi iko komwe, sabata yamawa mudzatha kukambitsirana vuto lenileni lotsatira.

sabata lachisanu ndi chiwiri

Vuto: Sasintha.

Zotsutsana zimakopa, kapena nsapato ziwiri - awiri - ndi iti mwa mitundu iwiriyi yomwe ingaperekedwe bwino kwambiri pa ubale wachikondi? Kafukufuku wasonyeza kuti okwatirana ofanana ali ndi mwayi wochuluka. Othandizira mabanja ena amakhulupirira kuti pafupifupi 90% ya mikangano ya anthu okwatirana imayamba chifukwa chakuti okwatirana alibe zofanana ndipo sangathe kulinganiza kusiyana kwawo. Popeza wina sangasinthe mnzake, ayenera kumuvomereza momwe alili. Choncho, tiphunzira kuvomereza «mphemvu» ndi «zofooka» wa bwenzi.

Kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi

Khwerero 1: yang'anani kwambiri pa khalidwe limodzi la bwenzi limene iye sakonda, koma lomwe sangasiyane nalo. Ulesi, introversion, pedantry, stinginess - izi ndi makhalidwe khola. Tsopano yesani kulingalira zimene zingachitike ngati mutapanga mtendere ndi khalidwe limenelo ndi kudziuza nokha kuti, umu ndi mmene zilili ndipo sizisintha. Pamalingaliro awa, anthu nthawi zambiri samakhumudwa, koma mpumulo.

Khwerero 2: Ganizirani momwe mungathetsere mavuto omwe amabwera chifukwa cha izi pamodzi. Ngati m'modzi wa inu ali wosasamala, wosamalira nyumba yemwe wabwera kudzacheza angakhale yankho. Ngati mnzanuyo watsekedwa kwambiri, khalani wowolowa manja, ngati sanena zambiri - mwinamwake muyenera kufunsa mafunso angapo. Maphunziro ovomerezeka ndi chimodzi mwa zigawo zikuluzikulu za chithandizo chabanja. Luso limeneli lingakhale lofunika kwambiri kuti mukhale ndi chimwemwe ndi ubwenzi wapamtima muubwenzi umene kale unali ndi zonyansa zachiwawa.

Sabata yachisanu ndi chitatu

Vuto: Sindingachokepo nthawi yomweyo kukangana

Mu gawo lachisanu ndi chitatu ndi lomaliza la maphunzirowa, tidzakambirana za momwe tingayandikirenso wina ndi mzake pambuyo pa mkangano. Ambiri amawopa mikangano, chifukwa mkangano amamva kuti ali kutali ndi wokondedwa wawo.

Zowonadi, ngakhale mikangano yomwe inathetsedwa pamodzi ndi kuwala koyimitsa kapena kumene kumvetsetsana kumatsogolera kumtunda wakutiwakuti. Gwirizanani zamtundu wina wamwambo woyanjanitsa womwe ungathetse mkangano ndikukuthandizani kuti muyandikirenso.

Kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi

Limodzi ndi wokondedwa wanu, ganizirani za mtundu wa mwambo woyanjanitsa womwe ungagwire ntchito kwa nonse mopindulitsa ndikuwoneka ngati zogwirizana ndi ubale wanu. Zisakhale zodzionetsera kwambiri. Ena amathandizidwa ndi kukhudza thupi - kukumbatirana kwautali, mwachitsanzo. Kapena kumvetsera nyimbo limodzi, kapena kumwa tiyi. Ndikofunikira kuti nonse nonse, ngakhale zitawoneka ngati zopanga poyamba, muzigwiritsa ntchito mwambo womwewo nthawi iliyonse. Chifukwa cha izi, zidzakhala zosavuta komanso zosavuta kutenga sitepe yoyamba yopita ku chiyanjanitso, ndipo posachedwapa mudzamva momwe kuyandikana kukubwezeretsedwa.

Inde, sitikunena za mfundo yakuti muyenera kuyamba kutsatira malangizo onse mwakamodzi. Sankhani ntchito ziwiri kapena zitatu zosiyana zomwe mumakonda kwambiri, ndipo yesani kutsatira malangizowa pakagwa mkangano.

Gwero: Spiegel.