Kodi mzere uli pati pakati pa kukopeka ndi thanzi labwino? Momwe mungamvetsetse ngati mnzanu akuwona mwa ife munthu wamoyo wokhala ndi ma pluses ndi minuses, kapena amawona ngati chinthu, chonyamulira chimodzi kapena china chomwe chimamusangalatsa? Katswiri wa maubwenzi, psychoanalyst Elisha Perrin wapanga mndandanda wa zizindikiro zomwe zingakuthandizeni kuyenda mu ubale wosamvetsetseka.
Vuto limene iwo anayamba kulemba posachedwapa, ankatchedwa «objectification» — «chofuna». Pankhani ya kugonana, izi zikutanthauza kukhudzana komwe munthu amawona mwa wina osati munthu, koma "chinthu", chinthu chokwaniritsa zofuna zake. Psychoanalyst Dr. Elisha Perrin wakhala akugwira ntchito ndi mavuto a ubale kwa zaka zambiri ndipo walemba nkhani ya momwe angazindikire kutsutsa.
"Kafukufuku waposachedwapa akusonyeza kuti kutsutsa kungagwirizane ndi kukakamiza kugonana mu maubwenzi achikondi," akulemba motero. - Palibe zodabwitsa. Chodetsa nkhawa kwambiri, kutsutsa kumalumikizidwanso ndi nkhanza zogonana. Ndipo izi, tsoka, sizodabwitsanso.
Ndiye mumasiyanitsa bwanji pakati pa objectification ndi kukopa kwathanzi? Ndi zizindikiro zotani zomwe muyenera kusamala nazo muubwenzi kapena pachibwenzi? Mwachionekere, tonsefe timafuna kukhala ndi kukopeka koyenera. Dr. Perrin akulemba za momwe kulili kofunika kuti athe kulekanitsa ndi zotsutsana zopanda thanzi zomwe zili ndi zifukwa zowopsa.
Kusakhwima maganizo
Poyambira, katswiriyo akuwonetsa kuti amvetsetsa zomwe zimatsogolera munthu akafuna kutsutsa wina: "Amene amachita izi, mwa tanthawuzo, ali ndi malingaliro osakhwima." Pamene tili aang’ono, timaona kuti dziko lili ndi zinthu zing’onozing’ono. Zimatengera kukhwima kuti muwone momwe mbalizi zimagwirizanirana ndikuyamba kuwona anthu onse, m'njira yovuta.
Ngati sitinakhwime, kaŵirikaŵiri timaona ena monga “zinthu” chabe zimene zimakwaniritsa chosoŵa chathu kapena ntchito yathu panthawi inayake. Kwa nthawi yoyamba, pamene sitingathe kudzisamalira tokha, iyi ndi nthawi yachibadwa ya kukula.
Ndipo komabe, chitukuko cha thanzi chimaphatikizapo kulemekeza ena monga anthu omwe ali ndi ufulu wawo, zosowa, malire, makhalidwe abwino ndi oipa. Mwamuna kapena mkazi amene amaona munthu wina ngati chinthu amamuyang’ana pongofuna kukwaniritsa zofuna zake panthawiyo.
Sangaganize za munthuyo zonse choncho sangathe kukhala ndi maubwenzi abwino, okhwima, makamaka okondana kapena kugonana.
Kodi kuzindikira objectification?
1. Nthawi zambiri, kukopa kwabwino sikungoyang'ana mbali ya thupi kapena maonekedwe enaake, monga ichi kapena chovalacho. Ndi kukopa wathanzi, munthu akhoza kusangalala ndi kukongola kwa thupi kapena fano, koma ndithudi amawona umunthu wa mnzake kumbuyo kwake.
2. Akukumana ndi zofooka kapena kuzolowera kwamtundu uliwonse, munthu wokhwima amazindikira ndikuziyamikira mwa bwenzi lake, monga gawo la chifaniziro chake kapena umunthu wake. Mwachitsanzo, ngati mwamuna "akukhudzidwa" ndi mkazi wovala zidendene zazitali, akhoza kupatutsa fanoli ngati munthu - pambuyo pake, wina aliyense akhoza kuvala nsapato zoterezi. Koma, kumbali ina, ngati amamuyamikira chifukwa chikondi chake cha skiing chapanga mawonekedwe okongola a miyendo yake, yomwe imawoneka modabwitsa kwambiri pazidendene zazitali - mwinamwake, amayamikira mkazi uyu ngati munthu wokhala ndi zizoloŵezi ndi zinthu zomwe zimapanga. umunthu wake.
3. Munthu wokhwima maganizo amalankhulanso za anthu ena monga munthu payekha. Sagawa dziko kukhala lakuda ndi loyera ndipo anganene za abwana ake, achibale ake, kapena mabwenzi kuti ali ndi makhalidwe abwino ndi oipa. Munthu amene objectifies amakonda kuona ena monga "abwino" kapena "oyipa" okha, kupereka kuwunika mwachiphamaso.
4. Anthu omwe ali ndi chidwi ndi omwe alibe chifundo kuposa ena. Zoona zake n’zakuti tikamaona ena onse, tikhoza kuyang’ana dziko kudzera m’maso mwawo, kuona kufanana ndi kusiyana kwathu ndi ife, kuzindikira mphamvu ndi zofooka, zimene amakonda ndi zimene sakonda. Maluso amenewa amatsimikizira luso lomvera chisoni ndi kutenga malingaliro a munthu wina. Dr. Perrin analemba kuti: “Ngati muli pachibwenzi ndi munthu amene akuoneka kuti sangakumvereni chisoni kapenanso anthu ena, samalani kwambiri za mmene amaonera thupi lanu. "Mwina mudzawona zizindikiro zina zosonyeza kuti mukutsutsidwa."
5. Pa nthawi yotsutsana, munthu akhoza kukhala ndi chisangalalo chapadera polingalira, kukhudza, kapena mtundu wina wa kugonana ndi gawo lirilonse la thupi la bwenzi lake. Izi ndi zosiyana ndi ubwenzi wapamtima ndi munthu amene amazindikira winayo kwathunthu, komanso pamlingo wokhudzana ndi thupi. Apanso, katswiriyo akufotokoza, izi zimabwereranso ku mfundo yakuti objectification ndi kukhutitsidwa kwa kufunikira kofulumira. Ikakwaniritsidwa, chidwi cha wofunsidwayo chimapita ku chinthu china, monga chikhumbo chake china.
Pofika pamalingaliro, ndikofunikira kukumbukira: zochulukirapo ndizosowa - ndiye kuti, sizichitika konse kuti munthu ali ndi zizindikiro 5 kapena palibe.
"Zindikirani zomwe zikuchitika mu ubale wanu. Ndipo chofunika kwambiri, mvetserani momwe mumamvera mwa iwo! Munthu wina akakutsutsani, mudzaona kuti anthu sakuyamikiridwa. Zosangalatsa zanu zitha kukhala zachiphamaso kapena zanthawi yochepa. Mutha kuona momwe chidwi chanu chimasokonezedwa ndi inu nokha, ndipo malingaliro anu ali otanganidwa kuganiza momwe mnzanuyo akumvera pakali pano. Chifukwa cha ichi, pangakhale kumverera kwa kuuma kwakukulu ndi kusakhala kwachibadwa. Ndipo mwina izi ndichifukwa choti simukutsutsa, ” akumaliza Dr. Perrin.
M'malingaliro ake, ndikofunikira kulabadira zizindikiro zomwe zalembedwa munthawi yake, chifukwa zitha kukhala zowopsa m'tsogolomu.
Za wolemba: Elisha Perrin ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo, psychoanalyst, komanso wolemba Body Consciousness. Phunziro la Psychoanalytic la thupi mu chithandizo.