Ubale ndi Narcissists: 11 Malamulo a Makhalidwe

Katswiri wa zamaganizo ndi mlembi Shahida Arabi wakhala akufufuza mutu wa maubwenzi osokonekera kwa zaka zambiri, akulemba mabuku odzithandizira okha kwa iwo omwe adakumana ndi mphamvu zowononga za narcissists, kuphunzira za mavuto a nkhanza zamaganizo ndi kukhazikitsa njira za khalidwe kwa iwo omwe agwa. mphamvu zosiyanasiyana «manipulators». «.

Polankhula ndi "opulumuka a narcissists", wolembayo adalemba mndandanda wazinthu zomwe ziyenera kupewedwa ngati muli paubwenzi ndi mnzanu wotero. Amatikumbutsa kuti machitidwe a anthu oterowo ndi odziwikiratu, koma titha kukhalabe ndi mtendere wamumtima ngati sitidalira thandizo lawo ndi chifundo chawo.

Pano pali mndandanda wa zinthu zomwe muyenera kupewa pochita ndi wokondedwa wanu wapoizoni, kaya ndi wogwira naye ntchito, mnzanu, mnzanu, kapena wachibale.

1. Osayendera limodzi

Amene akhala paubwenzi ndi narcissist nthawi zambiri kulankhula za mmene maloto awo tchuthi anasanduka gehena. Komanso, nthawi zina, tikukamba za ukwati waukwati, womwe, mwachidziwitso, uyenera kukhala chimodzi mwa zochitika zachikondi kwambiri pamoyo wa munthu. Kupita ndi bwenzi ku mayiko akutali, narcissists kulenga zinthu kuti kudzipatula ndi kusonyeza bwino mbali zawo zamdima.

Ngati mnzanuyo wachita kale zinthu zosayenera: kukunyozani, kukuzunzani mwakachetechete, kukuchititsani manyazi ndi kukunyozani - onetsetsani kuti kusintha kwa malo kumangomukwiyitsa, chifukwa kumene palibe amene akukudziwani, simungathe kupempha thandizo.

2. Osakondwerera masiku apadera ndi maholide omwe mumakonda limodzi

Narcissists amadziwika chifukwa cha chizolowezi chawo chowononga zochitika zomwe zingapangitse anzawo, abwenzi, ndi anzawo kukhala osangalala ndikusokoneza chidwi chawo, "zazikulu komanso zowopsa." Chifukwa chake, ndibwino kuti asadziwe kuti tsiku lofunika lafika kwa inu.

3. Pewani kukumana ndi anzanu ndi munthu wamatsenga

Nthawi zambiri anthu omwe ali ndi umunthu wonyansa pamapwando amayamba kukopana ndi anzawo atsopano. Chifukwa chake, amamupangitsa mnzakeyo kudandaula ndikupikisana kuti achite nawo chidwi. Zimenezi zingawononge kudzidalira kwanu, osatchulapo mfundo yakuti maganizo anu adzafika poipa. "Mudzamva zowawa komanso kudzipatula, chifukwa munthu wamatsenga amakopa unyinji wa anthu, amakuchepetsani," akufotokoza motero Shahida Arabi.

Ndikofunika kukumbukira kuti narcissists amakonda kupanga maubwenzi amenewa osati m'banja lokha, komanso kuntchito komanso muofesi ya wothandizira. Amakanganitsa anzawo, achibale ndi mabwenzi kuti amve bwino komanso azimva mphamvu pa ena.

4. Kukana kupita limodzi kutchuthi chabanja

Narcissists akhoza kukukhumudwitsani pasadakhale kuti akuikeni m'malo osawoneka bwino pamaso pa banja lanu: taonani, amati, ali wosakhazikika m'malingaliro! Pakadali pano, iwo eni amawoneka odekha komanso odekha motsutsana ndi mbiri yanu. “Musawapatse mwayi umenewo! Ngati kuchezerako sikungalephereke, yesani kukhala chete,” akuchenjeza motero Shahida Arabi.

5. Musanyalanyaze Mabomba Achikondi

Kuwombera kwachikondi, kapena kuphulitsa kwachikondi, ndizochita zomwe kumayambiriro kwa ubale zimafuna kufulumizitsa chiyanjano, m'maganizo ndi m'thupi, ndi "wozunzidwa" wotheka. Mutha kutumiziridwa makalata ndi mauthenga, mutha kutumizidwa maluwa ndi mphatso - umu ndi momwe bwenzi lanu likuyembekezera kupanga ubale wolimba ndi inu posachedwa. Koma kodi mumamudziwa bwino?

Paubwenzi wautali, zochita zoterezi zimathandiza kubwezera chiyanjo cha mnzanuyo. The narcissist amanyalanyaza kapena amakuikani pansi, koma ngati inu kusonyeza kuti mwakonzeka «kuchoka mbedza», iye amakhala mwadzidzidzi wofatsa ndi wosamala. Ngati mukuphulitsidwa ndi bomba, yesetsani kuti musayankhe uthenga uliwonse nthawi yomweyo, musalole zimakupiza zizidzaza nthawi yanu yonse. Izi zidzakupatsani mwayi woti muganizirenso zomwe zikuchitika.

6. Siyani maubwenzi azachuma ndi mapangano ndi anthu osokoneza bongo

Osawabwereketsa ndalama kapena kupempha thandizo la ndalama. Komanso, simuyenera kulowa nawo muubwenzi wovomerezeka mwalamulo. "Nthawi zonse mudzalipira zambiri kuposa wosuta," katswiriyo akutsimikiza.

7. Chepetsani kulankhulana pakamwa

Ngati inu ndi narcissist muli ndi bizinesi kapena ubale wapamtima, ngati akuwopseza, kusokoneza kapena kunyoza, ngati n'kotheka, musakambirane naye pafoni kapena pamasom'pamaso. Yesani kulumikizana ndi mauthenga kapena makalata. Ndipo ngati mukufunikabe kulankhulana pamasom’pamaso, lembani zimene zikuchitika pa chojambulira. M’tsogolomu maumboni amenewa angakhale othandiza kwa inu.

8. Musayende limodzi ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo ndipo musagawire zolinga zanu

Ngati mnzanuyo akuwonetsa zizindikiro za narcissism, ndi bwino kukana chithandizo chamagulu. Tsoka ilo, chilichonse chomwe munganene muofesi ya akatswiri chingagwiritsidwe ntchito motsutsana nanu. M'malo mwake, ndi bwino kudzimvera nokha ndikupita kwa dokotala nokha. Mwanjira imeneyi, mutha kuthana ndi zowawa zanu ndikuphunzira kukana chikoka choyipa cha munthu wamatsenga.

Ndibwinonso kuti musamuuze za zolinga zanu zam'tsogolo: ngati mukufuna kusiya mnzanu, akhoza kusokoneza zoyesayesa zanu zomusiya. Ndi bwino kukonzekera zolemba zonse zofunika poyamba ndikupeza malo otetezeka, akuchenjeza Shahida Arabi.

9. Musamatchule munthu wamatsenga kuti ndi wamatsenga

Ngati "muzindikira" mnzanuyo, mudzakumana ndi mkwiyo wake. Choipa kwambiri, angayese kukulanga chifukwa cha "kupanda kutero". Pamene narcissists azindikira kuti mukukayikira kuti iwo ndi apamwamba kuposa inu, amakwiya ndikuyesera kulanga.

Anthu a Narcissistic savomereza kutsutsidwa kulikonse mu adiresi yawo, koma ali okonzeka zambiri kuti apezenso mphamvu pa wokondedwa wawo. Ambiri mwina, iwo angayankhe mawu anu mwina gaslighting kapena "chikondi bomba".

10. Osagawana zinthu zanu zamkati ndi munthu wamatsenga.

Mu ubale wabwino, timatsegula kwa wokondedwa wathu, ndipo amavomereza izi ndi chiyamiko ndi kutenga nawo mbali. Koma ngati narcissist adziwa za ululu wanu, mantha ndi kuvulala kwanu, onetsetsani: adzagwiritsa ntchito chidziwitsocho motsutsana nanu. Posakhalitsa, zonse zomwe amadziwa zidzamuthandiza kuti muwoneke "zachilendo", "osakhazikika", "openga". Mukaganizira zogawana zinthu zofunika kwambiri ndi anzanu atsopano, choyamba ganizirani: Kodi anthu amenewa ndi oyenera kuwakhulupirira?

11. Osapempha thandizo kwa wamatsenga.

Narcissists alibe chifundo. Tikudziwa nkhani zambiri za anzawo ankhanza omwe adasiya ndikupereka anzawo pamikhalidwe yovuta kwambiri pamoyo wawo. Amenewa ndi amuna amene ali ndi zibwenzi pamene mkazi wawo ali m’ndende, ndi akazi amene amabera mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo amene akudwala mwakayakaya kapena amene ataya mtima kwambiri. Ngati muli ndi "gulu lothandizira" la abwenzi kapena achibale, ndi bwino kudalira iwo kusiyana ndi munthu yemwe ali ndi umunthu wa narcissistic, Arabi akuti.

Katswiri wa zamaganizo amakumbutsa kuti: sikuli vuto lanu kuti munavutika ndi ubale ndi munthu wamatsenga, koma mukhoza kuchepetsa kuvulaza polankhulana naye mwa kuphunzira zambiri za zizolowezi ndi khalidwe lake.