Zamkatimu
Kumayambiriro kwa bukuli, zikuwoneka kwa ife kuti chisangalalo chopanda mitambo chidzakhalapo mpaka kalekale. Koma tsopano titayamba kukhalira limodzi n’kuona kuti zizolowezi zina za mnzathuyo zimakwiyitsa kwambiri. Chikondi chapita? Osati konse, akutero wothandizira mabanja Sam Garanzini. Kungoti maubwenzi akusunthira kumlingo watsopano, ndipo ngati muwonetsa nzeru, malingaliro amatha zaka zambiri.
Max ndi Anna anachokako madzulo abanja abata, koma kenako Max anaganiza zongochita zopusa. Inali nthabwala chabe, koma Anna anabwebweta posakondwa. Ndizosangalatsa kuti kamodzi adamugonjetsa ndendende ndi nthabwala zake. Pa tsiku lililonse, Anna anaseka mpaka misozi. Chifukwa chiyani zonse zasintha?
Kodi mumadziwa izi? Kodi ubalewo ukuwoneka kuti wataya malire? Tsoka ilo, izi zimachitika nthawi zambiri. Kodi mungachoke bwanji mumsasawu?
Kodi n'zotheka kuwonjezera paukwati
Banja lililonse limakumana ndi mapiri posachedwa. Chilichonse chomwe chinkakusangalatsani chimakhala chofala ndipo nthawi zina chimakukwiyitsani. Izi ndi zachibadwa, chifukwa maubwenzi ali panjira yanthawi zonse. Lawi lachikondi lazima. Sitikumvetsa izi nthawi yomweyo: timangosintha mofatsa zovala pamaso pa wina ndi mnzake ndikugona XNUMX koloko madzulo kuti tikagone.
Kuchokera kumalingaliro asayansi, gawo laukwati limatsagana ndi kukwera kwamphamvu kwa dopamine. Neurotransmitter iyi imalumikizidwa ndi kumverera kosangalatsa ndipo imakhudza mphotho ndi chilimbikitso. Popeza thupi silingathe kukhalabe ndi dopamine wochuluka kwambiri kwa nthawi yayitali, chilakolako chimachepa.
Chofunika kwambiri, kusakhutitsidwa pang'ono kumalankhula za ... ubale wabwino
Ofufuza ku Gottman Institute adapeza kuti kumayambiriro kwa buku, chiŵerengero cha zabwino ndi zoipa za wina ndi mzake ndi 20: 1. M'kupita kwa nthawi, ziwerengero zimachepa kufika pa 5: 1. Tsopano zikuwonekeratu kuti nchifukwa chiyani Anna ankakonda kupeza zonyansa za Max modabwitsa, ndiyeno zinayamba kumukwiyitsa?
Kusintha koteroko kumabwera mutangozolowera kukhalira limodzi ndikuyamba kuchita zinthu momasuka. Ndipo, chofunikira, kusakhutitsidwa pang'ono kumalankhula za ... ubale wabwino.
Momwe mungabwezeretse chisangalalo
Ubwenzi ukangoyamba kumene, timachita chidwi ndi zonse zomwe mnzathu amachita. Amatolera masitampu, amakonda kusodza, amaseweretsa zokonda - ndi chithumwa chotani nanga! Zaka zingapo pambuyo pake, tikufuna kubweza nthawi kuti tikambirane za chilichonse padziko lapansi ndikuchotsa kufewa kwausiku. Poyamba, chilakolako chogonana chikafika pachimake, kukambirana moona mtima kumalimbikitsa chikondi ndi chidwi. Koma ngati kulankhulana kumangokhala m’chipinda chogona, zipsera za chikondi zimafera m’chivundikirocho.
Vuto ndilakuti ubale wawo uli pa autopilot. Moyo umataya mtundu
Poyang’anizana ndi moyo watsiku ndi tsiku, okwatirana ambiri amasoŵa maganizo. Chikondi sichinadutse, anthu anayamba kutengerana mosasamala.
Ndipo kotero izo zinachitika ndi Max ndi Anna. Koma Max si nthabwala chabe, komanso wokonda ankachita masewera ndege. Anna akuvomereza kuti amakonda kumva nkhani za ndege komanso kulota za momwe tsiku lina zidzakwera limodzi kumwamba.
Anna amakonda mafashoni, nthawi zonse amakhala ogwirizana ndi zovala zaposachedwa. Ali ndi zomwe angakambirane, chifukwa mafashoni ndi maulendo ndi mitu yosatha. Koma vuto ndilokuti ubale wawo ukukula "pa autopilot". Moyo umataya mtundu ndipo umakhala wosasangalatsa.
Bwanji ngati zokonda ndizosiyana kwambiri
Kodi chimachitika ndi chiyani tikayang'ana mbali zosiyanasiyana? Zimachitika kuti timakhumudwitsidwa kuti wokondedwayo sayankha mwachidwi kuti tiyesetse kuyandikira. Koma pambuyo pa zonse, aliyense ali ndi malingaliro ake a dziko lapansi ndi njira yakeyake yolumikizirana ndi ena.
Zimakhala zosavuta kuvomereza izi ngati tikuganiza kuti anthu onse agawidwa m'mitundu inayi molingana ndi njira yolankhulirana: Ofunafuna, Osunga, Ofufuza ndi Madiplomate.
- Ofunafuna amazindikira dziko lapansi kudzera m'mawonekedwe amthupi ndi zithunzi zomveka.
- Kwa Atetezi, mphamvu ya chikondi, khalidwe la kulankhulana ndi kukula kwa chikhulupiriro pakati pa anthu ndizoposa zonse.
- Openda amayamikira mikangano yopindulitsa ndipo nthawi zonse amalimbikitsa kuganiza bwino.
- Akazembe amadziwa bwino zosowa zawo komanso amalemekeza zosowa za ena.
Othandizira omwe ali ndi njira zosiyanasiyana zoyankhulirana amakwaniritsana bwino, koma ngati palibe kumvetsetsa kwathunthu, ubalewo umawonongeka. Mwachitsanzo, Wofunafuna mwachidwi amawona kuti mnzakeyo watopa ndipo sakufuna kupanga chikondi, pomwe Woyang'anira amatha kulakwitsa kutopa chifukwa cha kuzizira ndikuvutika mwakachetechete.
Ndikoyenera kumvetsetsa kuti aliyense wa inu ndi wotani, ndipo mudzaphunzira kuwona momwe zinthu zilili m'maso mwa wina.
Momwe mungakonzere chilichonse
Ngati mukuona ngati ubwenzi wanu ukupitirira, sikuchedwa kusintha zinthu. Nazi zomwe zingatheke.
- Yang'anitsitsani zomwe wokondedwa wanu amakonda komanso zomwe amakonda, koma kumbukirani: ali ndi njira yake yolankhulirana, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti muyenera kupeza chinsinsi chake.
- Ikani foni yanu pansi, chotsani maso anu pa TV, ndipo tcherani khutu kwa wokondedwa wanu. Mpatseni mphindi za ubwenzi weniweni.
- Yesetsani kupewa macheza opanda pake, yesetsani kukambirana zinthu zothandiza.
- Gwiritsani ntchito mawu akuti "ndiuzeni zambiri" kuti mnzanuyo aone zomwe mumakondwera nazo.
Tonsefe timakonda kulankhula za ife eni, ndipo ngati simusiya nthawi ndi chidwi kwa wokondedwa wanu, chikondi chapakati chimakhala kwa zaka zambiri.