Muli yense wa ife mumakhala wobwezera yemwe amadzuka pamene takhumudwa. Ena amatha kuwongolera, ena amagonja ku zikhumbo zoyamba, ndipo nthawi zambiri izi zimawonetsedwa mwaukali wamawu, ochiritsa mabanja Linda ndi Charlie Bloom akufotokoza. Ngakhale kuti sikophweka kuzindikira, koma mu nthawi zoterezi timadzivulaza tokha poyamba.
Kubwezera kaŵirikaŵiri kumabisidwa ngati mkwiyo wolungama ndipo motero sikutsutsidwa kwenikweni. Komabe, khalidwe limeneli ndi loipa kwambiri, loipa kwambiri kuposa kudzikonda, umbombo, ulesi kapena kudzikuza. Kufuna kubwezera kumatanthauza kufuna kuvulaza kapena kuvulaza munthu amene, monga mmene timaganizira, anatilakwira. Zimenezi n’zovuta kuvomereza, koma mwachibadwa timafuna kubwezera ngati atichitira zinthu zopanda chilungamo.
Ndipo nthawi zambiri timachita izi: timaponya ziganizo za caustic kuti tibweze ndi ndalama zomwezo, kulanga kapena kugonjera chifuniro chathu. Kudziona ngati omasuka chifukwa simunayambe wayikapo chala pa mnzanu ndikosavuta. Zimakhala zotonthoza kwambiri, ndipo nthawi zina zimachititsa kuti munthu adzimve kuti ndinu wapamwamba.
Koma werengani nkhani ya Diana ndi Max.
Max anali wouma khosi komanso wouma khosi mpaka Diana adakhumudwa ndipo adaganiza zomusiya. Anakwiya kwambiri ndipo ananena mosapita m’mbali kuti: “Mudzanong’oneza bondo kuti munaswa banja lathu!” Podziwa kuti mkazi wake anali wamantha, akuyesera kuti athetse chisudzulo mwamsanga, kugawa katunduyo ndikukhazikitsa mgwirizano wosunga mwana, adatulutsa mwadala njira zalamulo kwa zaka ziwiri - kungoti amukwiyitse.
Nthaŵi zonse akamakambirana za misonkhano ndi ana, Max sanaphonye mwayi wouza Diana zinthu zoipa ndipo sanazengereze kumuthira matope pamaso pa mwana wake wamwamuna ndi wamkazi. Poyesa kudziteteza ku chipongwe, mkaziyo anapempha chilolezo kwa mnansi wake kuti asiye anawo, kuti atateyo awatenge ndi kuwabweretsa panthaŵi yoikidwiratu kuti asadzawaone. Iye anavomera kuwathandiza.
Ngati tichita zinthu mopupuluma, mosapeŵeka timadzimva kukhala opanda pake, okaikira, ndi osungulumwa.
Ndipo ngakhale atasudzulana, Max sanakhazikike mtima pansi. Iye anakumana ndi palibe, sanakwatirenso, chifukwa anali wotanganidwa kwambiri ndi «vendetta», ndipo anatsala opanda kanthu. Anakonda mwana wake wamwamuna ndi mwana wake wamkazi ndipo anafuna kulankhula nawo, koma, pokhala achichepere, onse aŵiri anakana kupita kukamchezera. Pambuyo pake, ali achikulire, ankapita kwa iye mwa apo ndi apo. Ngakhale kuti Diana sananene mawu oipa ponena za mwamuna wake wakale, anali wotsimikiza kuti anatembenuzira anawo.
M’kupita kwa nthaŵi, Max anasanduka nkhalamba yachisoni ndipo anatopetsa aliyense amene anali naye pafupi ndi nkhani za nkhanza zimene anamuchitira. Atakhala yekha, adakonza mapulani abwino obwezera ndipo amalota momwe angakwiyire Diana mwamphamvu. Iye sanazindikire kuti iye anawonongedwa ndi kubwezera kwake. Ndipo Diana adakwatirananso - nthawi ino bwino.
Sikuti nthawi zonse timazindikira momwe mawu athu amawonongera. Zingawonekere kuti tikungofuna kuti mnzanuyo "aganize", "potsiriza amvetse chinachake" kapena potsiriza atsimikizire kuti tikulondola. Koma zonsezi ndi kuyesa kobisika kofuna kumulanga.
Ndi chamanyazi kuvomereza izi: Sitidzangoyang'anizana ndi mbali yathu yamdima, komanso kumvetsetsa momwe kubwezera ndi kupsa mtima kuli kokwera mtengo nthawi zina pamene timachita mantha, kukhumudwa kapena kukhumudwa. Ngati tichita ndi kulankhula mosonkhezeredwa ndi chisonkhezero chimenechi, mosapeŵeka timadzimva kukhala opanda pake, odzipatula, okaikira ndi osungulumwa. Ndipo mnzakeyo alibe mlandu pa izi: ndi momwe timachitira tokha. Kaŵirikaŵiri tikamagonja ku chisonkhezero chimenechi, m’pamenenso chikhumbo chofuna kubwezera chimawonjezereka.
Tikazindikira kuti tadzivulaza tokha, ndipo tili ndi udindo pa izi, chibadwa chathu chimataya mphamvu. Nthaŵi ndi nthaŵi, chizoloŵezi choyankha mwaukali chimadzipangitsa kudzimva, koma sichikhalanso ndi mphamvu zake zakale pa ife. Osati kokha chifukwa chakuti taphunzira kulakwa kwake, komanso chifukwa chakuti sitikufunanso kumva zowawa zoterozo. Sikoyenera kuvutika mpaka zitadziwika kuti si mnzathu amene watithamangitsira kundende yaumwini. Aliyense amatha kudzimasula yekha.
Zokhudza Akatswiri: Linda ndi Charlie Bloom, akatswiri amisala, akatswiri paubwenzi, komanso olemba buku la Chinsinsi cha Chikondi ndi Zinsinsi za Ukwati Wachimwemwe: Choonadi Chokhudza Chikondi Chamuyaya kuchokera kwa Maanja Enieni.