Kodi ndizoipa kukhala wotsimikiza nthawi zonse?

Galimoto yawonongeka? Zabwino kwambiri: ndikudikirira galimoto yokokera, ndili ndi nthawi yanga ndekha. Kuphwanya munjanji yapansi panthaka? Zabwino zonse, ndidasowa kwambiri ubale wamunthu. Pali anthu odabwitsa omwe amawona chilichonse bwino. Monga ngati pali chinachake chabwino mu vuto lililonse, ndipo kumbuyo sewero lililonse pali phunziro la nzeru. Anthu odabwitsa awa, "oyimbidwa" ndi chiyembekezo, amafotokoza, nthawi zina ndi kumwetulira kwachilendo, kuti mudzakhala osangalala ngati muwona mbali yabwino ya chilichonse. Kodi zilidi choncho?

Zolakwa ndi zophunzitsa

“Mpikisano wathu umatikakamiza kuchita zinthu mwanzeru m’mbali zonse za moyo. Muyenera kukometsera CV yanu kuti ingowonetsa kupita patsogolo pang'onopang'ono kupita ku chipambano,” akutero wafilosofi komanso katswiri wa zamaganizo Monique David-Ménard. Koma chitsenderezocho chimakhala champhamvu kwambiri kotero kuti uphungu nthawi zambiri umachokera kwa anthu omwe «amawumbidwa ndi malingaliro abwino a chipambano chamtheradi» pamene miyoyo yawo imagwa mwadzidzidzi chifukwa cha kulephera.

Ngakhale zili choncho, sanaphunzirepo kukhala ndi nthawi yachisoni ndi kukhumudwa. “N’zomvetsa chisoni, chifukwa mavuto athu ndi zolephera zathu zimatiuza zambiri ponena za ife eni,” iye anapitiriza motero. Mwachitsanzo, kuthetsa ubale kumasonyeza kuti tinali otanganidwa kwambiri mu ubale umenewo, kapena kuti tinali okonzeka kulephera. Chifukwa cha Freud, tsopano tikudziwa kuti zotsutsana - ku moyo ndi imfa, eros ndi thanatos - zimapanga kulemera ndi zovuta za moyo wathu. Kusamalira chimene chinalakwika ndicho kuganizira zolakwa zathu, zofooka zathu ndi mantha athu, mbali zonse zimene zimapanga umunthu wathu. Monique David-Ménard akutsimikizira kuti: “Pali chinachake chaumwini kwambiri ponena za mmene timadzipezeranso tili m’masautso omwewo,” akutsimikizira motero Monique David-Ménard. - Ndipo apa pali ufulu wathu, "chifukwa mukugonjetsedwa timapeza zinthu zomangira kupambana kwathu."

Zomverera zimakhala zomveka

Zomverera ndi zokhudzika ndi chiyani? Awa ndi magetsi owunikira m'maganizo mwathu, amati chinachake chikutichitikira," akufotokoza motero katswiri wa Gestalt Elena Shuvarikova. “Pamene tili pangozi, timachita mantha; tikaluza timamva chisoni. Ndipo podziletsa kumva chilichonse, sitilandira chidziwitso chofunikira kuchokera ku thupi. Ndipo motero timaphonya mipata ya kukula kwathu, timataya kuyanjana ndi ife eni. Ntchito ya psychotherapy ndikupereka mwayi kwa kasitomala kuti awone momwe adakhudzidwira ndi chochitikacho, komanso zomwe adachita zikunena za zomwe zidachitika m'mbuyomu, kuti amuphunzitse kuyankha molondola pakali pano.

“Kuganiza bwino kwambiri kumatilepheretsa kuzolowera mmene zinthu zilili panopa”, - Elena Shuvarikova ndi wotsimikiza. Kuti tisamakumane ndi zinthu zimene zimatiopseza kapena kutiopseza, timakana kuona zimene zikutidetsa nkhawa. Timafewetsa zinthu kuti tikhazikike kwakanthawi, koma kwenikweni tikupita ku tsoka. Ndi iko komwe, ngakhale mutadziuza kuti njirayo ndi yowongoka bwanji, ngati pali kukhota, mudzawulukira m’mphepete mwa msewu. Kapena, monga mphunzitsi wamkulu waku India Swami Prajnanpad anaphunzitsira, choyenera ndi "kuvomereza zomwe zili." Kutha kuwona momwe zinthu zilili zimakulolani kuti mupeze zinthu zoyenera ndikupanga chisankho choyenera.

"Malingaliro abwino, monga malingaliro olakwika, ndi njira ziwiri zowopsa, zopanda phindu, Monique David-Ménard akuwonetsa. "Chifukwa cha zakale, timadziona kuti ndife wamphamvuyonse, timawona moyo wowoneka bwino, timakhulupirira kuti chilichonse n'chotheka, ndipo zotsirizirazi zimatifooketsa ndikutipangitsa kulephera." Muzochitika zonsezi, ndife osasamala, sitilenga kapena kupanga chilichonse, sitidzipatsa mphamvu kuti tikonzenso dziko lotizungulira. Sitikumvera malingaliro athu, ndipo mawu akuti «kutengeka» akubwerera ku Latin exmovere - «kuyika patsogolo, kusangalala»: izi ndi zomwe zimatilimbikitsa, zimatikakamiza kuchitapo kanthu.

Ambivalence amakupangitsani kukula

Nthawi zina zofunika masiku ano kunamizira kuti zonse zili bwino ntchito «neutralize» interlocutor mu kukambirana kuti kumakhala kovuta. Pali mawu odziwika bwino akuti "Musandiuze za vutoli, koma perekani njira yothetsera vutoli", zomwe, mwatsoka, mabwana ambiri amakonda kubwereza kwambiri.

Vuto ndiloti, pali chitonzo kumbuyo kwake: yesetsani, khalani oyenerera, osinthika, ndikukhala moyo! Boris, wazaka 45, wogwira ntchito yogulitsa, wakwiya: "Bwana wathu adatiuza nkhani "yabwino": sipadzakhalanso kuchotsedwa ntchito ... bola titavomereza kudulidwa malipiro. Tinkayenera kukhala osangalala. " Anthu amene ankayerekeza kunena kuti palibe chilungamo ankaimbidwa mlandu wosokoneza gulu. Mkhalidwewu ndi wofanana. Kuganiza bwino kumakana kuganiza movutikira. Ngati tiganiza zovuta, timaganizira zinthu zotsutsana ndipo tili mumkhalidwe wosakhazikika, pamene chisankhocho chimakhala chogwirizana nthawi zonse ndipo chimadalira nkhaniyo. Ndipo palibe mayankho olondola amodzi.

"Kupewa zovuta, kuyang'ana zinthu kuchokera kumbali yabwino ndi malo akhanda," akukhulupirira Elena Shuvarikova. - Akatswiri a zamaganizo amatcha misozi ndi chisoni "mavitamini akukula." Nthawi zambiri timauza makasitomala: sikutheka kukhala wamkulu popanda kuzindikira chomwe chiri, popanda kulekanitsa ndi chinachake, popanda kulira nokha. Ndipo ngati tikufuna kukula, kudzidziwa tokha, sitingapewe kukumana ndi zotayika ndi zowawa. Inde, ndizovuta, koma zosapeŵeka komanso zofunikira. Sitingathe kumvetsetsa mitundu yonse ya dziko popanda kugwirizana ndi uwiri wake: lili ndi zabwino ndi zoipa.

Nkwachibadwa kuda nkhawa

Monique David-Menard anati: “Kuganiza bwino kungachititse munthu kukhala ndi maganizo abwino, malinga ngati sitikuzigwiritsa ntchito nthawi zonse. - Munthawi yamavuto azachuma, timafunikira kukhala ndi chiyembekezo chochulukirapo. Zimathandiza kupewa nkhawa. Koma malingaliro abwino a mkhalidwewo angakhalenso osayenera kotheratu, mwachitsanzo, pamene sitikufuna kumva madandaulo. Palibe chomwe chimakhumudwitsa mnzako wokhumudwa ngati kuyitana kuti awone zabwino m'moyo.

Nthawi zina mungafunike kulola kuti chikhumbo chofuna kukhala wosasangalala chichoke pachokha. Poyenda pakati pa zabwino zogwira mtima ndi kuopa kulephera, titha kupanga chitsanzo cha kupambana komwe kumalola kulephera kwina.