Kodi kugonana kumaloledwa pa tsiku loyamba?

Pali njira zosiyanasiyana zothetsera tsiku loyamba, ndipo imodzi mwazosankha ndikugonana. Komabe, tikudziwa lamulo losalembedwa lomwe limaletsa ubwenzi pambuyo pa msonkhano woyamba. Kodi tiyenera kuutsatira mosamalitsa, kapena tiyenerabe kumvera zokhumba zathu?

kugonana pa tsiku loyamba: amuna ndi akazi

Izi sizikhala zongoyerekeza ngati mankhwala, ndipo zimaperekedwa makamaka kwa amayi. Tangoganizani munthu yemwe angadzitetezere yekha lamulo loterolo - angaganize kuti ali ndi mavuto ndi potency. Koma mkazi ayenera kulamulira zilakolako zake zamkati. Chifukwa chiyani?

“Mkhalidwe umenewu wazikidwa pa nthanthi ya kusiyana kwa kugonana kwa amuna ndi akazi,” akufotokoza motero Inga Green. - N'zosavuta kumupeza atavala masks monga: "amuna amangofunika izi", "amuna amafunikira kugonana, ndipo akazi amafunika kukwatiwa". Malinga ndi nthano iyi, mwamuna ndi omnivorous ndipo amathamangitsa chiwerengero cha omwe amacheza nawo, ndipo tsiku ndilochepa losapeŵeka, pambuyo pake "adzapeza thupi." Chabwino, kugonana kwachikazi - chilakolako, chidwi, zosangalatsa - sizikuwoneka kuti zilipo. Mawonetseredwe a kukopa kunja kwa chiyanjano amawoneka ngati kuputa ndi kuyitanitsa kuchitapo kanthu.

kuchokera ku kunyanyira kunka ku kumzake

Komabe, monga momwe stereotype iyi ndi yolimbikira, yachikale kwambiri. Zowonadi, masiku ano mchitidwewu ndi wopitilira muyeso - kuwonetsa kumasuka pakugonana komanso kukhazikika. "Kugona kutsimikizira chinachake - njirayi ilibe kanthu ndi mawonetseredwe a kugonana," adatero katswiri wa zamaganizo. “Akhoza kukhala fanizo la chinthu china: chionetsero, chikhumbo chofuna kukopa, kupeza mphamvu, chisonkhezero kapena chokumana nacho chatsopano.” Ndipo pamenepa, mkazi amagwera mu kudalira kwina - pa kudzutsidwa kwake ndi / kapena pa chikhumbo cha mwamuna.

Zikuoneka kuti palibe kusiyana pakati pa zoikamo "kupanga chikondi pa tsiku loyamba n'kulakwa" ndi "kusonyeza mfulu muli"! Aliyense wa iwo akuwonetsa malingaliro a anthu omwe amatipatsa mtundu wina wochita zinthu zokha komanso osaganizira zosowa zathu.

Pezani malire

“Ngati mkazi amvera zokhumba zake, amavomereza kukhala paubwenzi pamene iye mwini akufuna, ndipo zimachitika mosiyana kwa aliyense,” akukumbukira motero Inga Green. - Zomwe timachita zimatha kusiyana kwambiri kutengera mnzathu yemwe ali pafupi. Ndi munthu, n'kokwanira kwa ife kununkhiza kapena kugwira timbre wa mawu kuti kukopa kulumphira pa "pomwepo" chizindikiro, ndipo ndi munthu tiyenera kumvetsera tokha kwa nthawi yaitali kupeza chidwi.

Koma ngati takokedwa kwa munthu wosiyanayo, ndipo iye akokeredwa kwa ife, ngati tonsefe tiri ndi chikhumbo cha kulandira ndi kupatsa chisangalalo, ndiye nchifukwa ninji wina kapena chinachake chiyenera kutiletsa kuzindikira zimenezi?

Inde, ndi bwino kukumbukira za chitetezo. Mungakonde kukumana kangapo kangapo ndikumudziwa bwino bwenzi lanu latsopanolo kuti musathawe m'nyumba ya munthu wina mosasamala kuthawa kamera ya kanema kapena machitidwe ogonana osayenera. Ngati mwasankha kutsata chikhumbo cha chilakolako usiku woyamba, musakhale aulesi kwambiri kuti musamale: musamamwe mowa wambiri, sungani foni yanu yam'manja ndikuchenjeza mnzanu kapena bwenzi lanu za komwe mudapita ndi ndani.

Inga Green

Katswiri wa zamaganizo

Family psychotherapist. Kuyambira 2003 wakhala akugwira ntchito ngati uphungu wama psychologist. Iye ali ndi chidziwitso monga katswiri wa zamaganizo pasukulu, katswiri wa utumiki wodalirika mu umodzi mwa mizinda ya kuwongolera maganizo ndi maphunziro ndi kukonzanso ana, achinyamata ndi mabanja.

www.psychologies.ru/profile/inga-admiralskaya-411/

Siyani Mumakonda