"Chipulumutso ku zitonzo zonse chili kuiwalika", "Sambani chipongwe cholandiridwa osati mwazi, koma m'chilimwe", "Musakumbukire zamwano zakale" - adatero akale. N’chifukwa chiyani sititsatira malangizo awo kawirikawiri ndi kuwasunga m’mitima mwathu kwa milungu, miyezi, ngakhale zaka? Mwina chifukwa ndi zabwino kudyetsa iwo, mkwatibwi ndi kuwasamalira? Kukwiyitsa akale kungayambitse kuwonongeka kwakukulu kwa thanzi la thupi ndi maganizo, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti muyenera kupeza njira yothetsera vutoli, akulemba Tim Herrera.
Chimodzi mwazinthu zomwe ndimakonda kuchita pamaphwando ndikufunsa alendo funso losavuta: "Kodi chakukhosi kwanu, komwe mumakukonda kwambiri ndi chiyani?" Zomwe sindidamve poyankha! Oyankhula anga nthawi zambiri amakhala achindunji. Wina sanayenere kukwezedwa pantchito, winayo sangayiwala mawu osayenera. Chachitatu ndi kuona kuti ubwenzi wakale watha. Ngakhale kuti chochitikacho chingaoneke chochepa chotani nanga, mkwiyo ungakhale mu mtima kwa zaka zambiri.
Ndikukumbukira mnzanga akugawana nkhani poyankha funso. Anali m'kalasi yachiwiri, ndipo mnzanga wa m'kalasi - mnzanga akukumbukirabe dzina lake ndi momwe amawonekera - anaseka magalasi omwe mnzanga anayamba kuvala. Sikuti mwanayu wanena zoipa kwambiri, koma mnzanga sangayiwala zomwe zinachitikazo.
Kukwiyitsa kwathu kuli ngati Tamagotchi m'thumba lathu lamalingaliro: amafunika kudyetsedwa nthawi ndi nthawi. M'malingaliro anga, wosewera Reese Witherspoon adafotokoza bwino kwambiri pagulu la TV la Big Little Lies: "Ndipo ndimakonda zodandaula zanga. Ali ngati ziweto kwa ine.” Koma kodi madandaulowa amatipatsa chiyani ndipo tidzapeza chiyani ngati titawatsanzika?
Posachedwa ndidafunsa ogwiritsa ntchito a Twitter ngati adakhululukira kale zakukhosi kwawo komanso momwe adamvera. Nawa mayankho ena.
- “Nditakwanitsa zaka XNUMX, ndinaona kuti inali nthawi yoti ndiiwale zakale. Ndinakonza zoyeretsa m'mutu mwanga - malo ambiri adamasulidwa!
- “Sikuti ndinamva chilichonse chapadera… Zinali zabwino kuti palibe chomwe chimandivutitsanso, koma panalibe mpumulo uliwonse.”
- "Ndinakhululukiranso cholakwacho mwanjira ina ... nditabwezera wondilakwirayo!"
- "Zoonadi, panali mpumulo, koma pamodzi ndi izo - ndi chinachake chonga chiwonongeko. Zinapezeka kuti zinali zosangalatsa kwambiri kusunga madandaulo.
- “Ndinadzimva kukhala womasuka. Zachidziwikire kuti ndakhala ndikusunga chakukhosi kwa zaka zambiri ... "
- “Kukhululuka kunakhala phunziro lofunika kwambiri m’moyo wanga!”
- “Mwadzidzidzi ndinadzimva ngati munthu wamkulu weniweni. Ndinavomereza kuti nthawi ina, pamene ndinakhumudwa, malingaliro anga anali oyenerera, koma nthawi yambiri yadutsa, ndakula, ndakhala wanzeru komanso wokonzeka kunena zabwino kwa iwo. Ndinamva kupepuka kwenikweni! Ndikudziwa kuti zikumveka ngati cliché, koma ndi momwe zinalili. "
Inde, zimawoneka ngati zongopeka chabe, koma zimachirikizidwa ndi umboni wa sayansi. Kale mu 2006, asayansi a Stanford adafalitsa zotsatira za kafukufuku wonena kuti, "Kudziwa luso la kukhululuka, mukhoza kupirira mkwiyo, kuchepetsa kupsinjika maganizo ndi maonekedwe a psychosomatic." Kukhululuka ndikwabwino ku chitetezo chathu chamthupi ndi mtima.
Kafukufuku wa chaka chino, 2019, akuti anthu omwe, mpaka ukalamba, amakhala ndi mkwiyo pazomwe zidachitika kalekale amakhala ndi matenda osatha. Lipoti lina linanena kuti mkwiyo umatilepheretsa kuona zinthu m’maso mwa munthu winayo.
Pamene sitingathe kulira ndi kusiya zimene zinachitika, timakhala ndi mkwiyo, ndipo zimenezi zimakhudza mkhalidwe wathu wauzimu ndi wamaganizo. Izi ndi zimene wofufuza za chikhululukiro Dr. Frederic Laskin akunena ponena za zimenezi: “Tikazindikira kuti palibe chimene tingachite koma kupitiriza kusunga chakukhosi chakale ndi kunyamula mkwiyo mwa ife tokha, zimenezi zimafooketsa chitetezo chathu chamthupi ndipo zingathandize kuti matenda ayambe kudwala. kuvutika maganizo. Mkwiyo ndiye vuto lowononga kwambiri pamtima wathu. ”
Siyani kulankhula ndi kudziona ngati wovutitsidwa ndi zochitika zina
Koma kukhululuka kotheratu, malinga ndi kunena kwa wasayansiyo, kungachepetse zotsatirapo zoipa zimene kuipidwa kwanthaŵi yaitali ndi mkwiyo wokhazikika zimakhala nazo pa ife.
Chabwino, popeza kuti kuchotsa chakukhosi ndikwabwino komanso kothandiza, tidazindikira. Koma bwanji kwenikweni? Dr. Laskin akunena kuti kukhululuka kotheratu kungagawidwe m’magawo anayi. Koma musanachite izi, ndikofunikira kumvetsetsa zinthu zingapo zofunika:
- Muyenera kukhululukidwa, osati wolakwayo.
- Nthawi yabwino yokhululukirana ndi ino.
- Kukhululuka sikutanthauza kuvomereza kuti palibe vuto limene wakuchitirani, kapena kukhalanso paubwenzi ndi munthuyo. Kumatanthauza kudzimasula nokha.
Kotero, kuti mukhululukire, choyamba muyenera kukhazika mtima pansi - pakali pano. Kupuma mozama, kusinkhasinkha, kuthamanga, chirichonse. Uku ndikudzipatula ku zomwe zidachitika osachitapo kanthu mwachangu komanso mopupuluma.
Chachiwiri, siyani kulankhula ndi kudziona ngati wovutitsidwa ndi zochitika zinazake. Kwa ichi, ndithudi, muyenera kuyesetsa. Masitepe awiri omaliza amayendera limodzi. Ganizirani za zinthu zabwino m'moyo wanu - zomwe mungagwiritse ntchito polimbana ndi vuto lomwe mwakumana nalo - ndikudzikumbutsani za chowonadi chosavuta: sizinthu zonse m'moyo ndipo sizimachitika momwe timafunira. Izi zithandizira kuchepetsa kupsinjika komwe mukukumana nako pano.
Kudziwa luso la chikhululukiro, kusiya kusungira chakukhosi kwa zaka zambiri ndizoonadi, akukumbutsa Dr. Laskin. Zimangotengera kuyeserera pafupipafupi.
Wolemba - Tim Herrera, mtolankhani, mkonzi.