Zamkatimu
Nthawi zambiri timaganiza za ana ngati gwero la zovuta ndi zolemetsa zowonjezera, osati monga othandizira enieni. Zikuoneka kwa ife kuti kuwaphunzitsa ntchito zapakhomo kumafuna khama kwambiri kotero kuti kuli bwino kusatero. Ndipotu, ife, chifukwa cha kusasamala kwathu, tikutaya mabwenzi abwino kwambiri mwa iwo. Katswiri wa zamaganizo Peter Gray akufotokoza momwe angakonzere.
Timaganiza kuti njira yokhayo yopezera ana kuti atithandize ndi kukakamiza. Kuti mwana ayeretse chipinda, kutsuka mbale kapena kupachika zovala zonyowa kuti ziume, ayenera kukakamizidwa, kusinthasintha pakati pa ziphuphu ndi ziwopsezo, zomwe sitingakonde. Kodi maganizo amenewa mumawatenga kuti? Mwachiwonekere, kuchokera ku malingaliro awo okhudza ntchito monga chinthu chomwe simukufuna kuchita. Izi timazipereka kwa ana athu, ndipo iwonso kwa ana awo.
Koma kafukufuku amasonyeza kuti ana aang’ono kwambiri mwachibadwa amafuna kuthandiza. Ndipo ngati aloledwa kutero, adzapitirizabe kuchita zimenezo mpaka akadzakula. Pano pali umboni wina.
Chibadwa chothandizira
M’kafukufuku wina wakale amene anachita zaka zoposa 35 zapitazo, katswiri wa zamaganizo Harriet Reingold anaona mmene ana azaka 18, 24, ndi 30 azaka XNUMX, XNUMX, ndi XNUMX ankachitira zinthu ndi makolo awo pamene anali kugwira ntchito zapakhomo: kupukuta, kupukuta fumbi, kusesa pansi, kuchotsa mbale patebulo. , kapena zinthu zomwazika pansi.
Pansi pa kuyesera, makolowo anagwira ntchito pang'onopang'ono ndikulola mwanayo kuti athandize ngati akufuna, koma sanapemphe; osaphunzitsidwa, osaphunzitsidwa choti achite. Chotsatira chake, ana onse - anthu 80 - adathandizira makolo awo mwakufuna kwawo. Komanso, ena anayamba izi kapena ntchitoyo pamaso pa akuluakulu. Malinga ndi a Reingold, anawo ankagwira ntchito “ndi mphamvu, mwachidwi, ndi nkhope yosangalatsa ndipo ankasangalala akamaliza ntchitozo.”
Maphunziro ena ambiri amatsimikizira chikhumbo chowoneka ngati chapadziko lonse cha ana ang'onoang'ono kuti athandize. Pafupifupi nthawi zonse, mwanayo amabwera kudzathandiza munthu wamkulu yekha, mwakufuna kwake, popanda kuyembekezera pempho. Zomwe kholo liyenera kuchita ndikungokopa chidwi cha mwanayo ku chenicheni chakuti akuyesera kuchita chinachake. Mwa njira, ana amadziwonetsera okha ngati odzipereka enieni - samachita chifukwa cha mphotho yamtundu wina.
Ana amene ali ndi ufulu wosankha zochita amathandizira kwambiri kuti banja liziyenda bwino
Ofufuza Felix Warnecken ndi Michael Tomasello (2008) adapezanso kuti mphotho (monga kutha kusewera ndi chidole chokongola) zimachepetsa chisamaliro chotsatira. Ana 53% okha omwe adalandira mphotho chifukwa chotenga nawo mbali adathandizira akuluakulu pambuyo pake, poyerekeza ndi 89% ya ana omwe sanalimbikitsidwe nkomwe. Zotsatirazi zikusonyeza kuti ana ali ndi zisonkhezero zakuthupi m’malo mochokera kunja kuti athandize—ndiko kuti, amawathandiza chifukwa chakuti amafuna kukhala othandiza, osati chifukwa chakuti amayembekezera kubweza chinachake.
Zoyesera zina zambiri zatsimikizira kuti mphotho imalepheretsa chilimbikitso chamkati. Mwachiwonekere, kumasintha kawonedwe kathu pa ntchito yomwe poyamba inkatipatsa chisangalalo mwa iyo yokha, koma tsopano timachita izo poyamba kuti tilandire mphotho. Izi zimachitika mwa akulu ndi ana.
Kodi n’chiyani chimatilepheretsa kuphatikizira ana ntchito zapakhomo monga choncho? Makolo onse amamvetsetsa chifukwa cha khalidwe loipali. Choyamba, timakana ana omwe akufuna kuthandiza mwachangu. Nthawi zonse timafulumira kwinakwake ndipo timakhulupirira kuti kutenga nawo mbali kwa mwanayo kudzachepetsa ndondomeko yonse kapena adzachita molakwika, osati bwino ndipo tidzayenera kukonzanso zonse. Kachiwiri, pamene tikufunikiradi kumukopa, timapereka mtundu wina wa mgwirizano, mphotho ya izi.
M’chochitika choyamba, timamuuza kuti sangathe kuthandiza, ndipo chachiwiri timaulutsa maganizo oipa: kuthandiza ndi zimene munthu amachita ngati walandirapo kanthu.
Othandizira ochepa amakula kukhala odzipereka kwambiri
Pophunzira za madera a eni eni, ofufuza apeza kuti makolo m’madera amenewa amalabadira zokhumba za ana awo kuti awathandize ndipo amawalola kutero, ngakhale pamene “thandizo” liwachepetsera moyo wawo. Koma ana akamafika zaka 5-6, amakhaladi othandiza komanso odzipereka. Mawu akuti “mnzawo” ndi oyenereranso kwambiri pano, chifukwa ana amachita zinthu ngati kuti ali ndi udindo wosamalira banja mofanana ndi makolo awo.
Mwachitsanzo, nazi ndemanga za amayi a ana a zaka 6-8 zakubadwa ku Guadalajara, Mexico, amene akufotokoza zochita za ana awo: “Nthaŵi zina akamabwera kunyumba n’kunena kuti, ‘Amayi, ndikuthandizani kuchita chilichonse. .' Ndipo mwaufulu amayeretsa nyumba yonse. Kapena motere: “Amayi, mwabwera kunyumba mutatopa kwambiri, tiyeni tiyeretse limodzi. Amayatsa wailesi n’kunena kuti: “Inu muzichita chinthu chimodzi, ine ndidzachita chinanso.” Ndimasesa kukhitchini ndipo amayeretsa chipindacho."
“Kunyumba, aliyense amadziwa zimene ayenera kuchita, ndipo popanda kuyembekezera zikumbutso zanga, mwana wamkaziyo anandiuza kuti: “Amayi, ndangobwera kumene kusukulu, ndikufuna kupita kukaona agogo anga, koma ndisanachoke, ndimaliza. ntchito yanga”. Akamaliza ndipo amapita." Nthawi zambiri, amayi ochokera m'madera odziwika bwino ankafotokozera ana awo kuti ndi odziwa ntchito, odziimira okha, komanso ochita malonda. Ana awo, kwakukulukulu, amakonzekera tsiku lawo iwo eni, akumasankha nthaŵi yoti adzagwire ntchito, kusewera, kuchita homuweki, kuchezera achibale ndi mabwenzi.
Maphunzirowa amasonyeza kuti ana omwe ali ndi ufulu wosankha zochita komanso osalamulidwa ndi makolo awo amathandiza kwambiri kuti banja likhale labwino.
Malangizo kwa Makolo
Kodi mukufuna kuti mwana wanu akhale wachibale wodalirika ngati inu? Ndiye muyenera kuchita zotsatirazi:
- Vomerezani kuti ntchito zapakhomo za tsiku ndi tsiku si udindo wanu wokha komanso si inu nokha amene muli ndi udindo wozichita. Ndipo izi zikutanthauza kuti muyenera kusiya pang'ono kulamulira zomwe zimachitika komanso momwe zimachitikira kunyumba. Ngati mukufuna kuti chilichonse chikhale momwe mukufunira, muyenera kuchita nokha kapena kulemba ganyu wina.
- Tangoganizani kuti mwana wanu akuyesetsa mochokera pansi pa mtima, ndipo ngati mutapatula nthawi kuti ayambe kuchitapo kanthu, mwana wanuyo m’kupita kwanthaŵi adzapeza chidziŵitso.
- Osafuna thandizo, musachite malonda, musalimbikitse ndi mphatso, musalamulire, chifukwa izi zimasokoneza chilimbikitso cha mwana chofuna kuthandiza. Kumwetulira kwanu kokhutitsidwa ndi kuyamikira ndi "zikomo" moona mtima ndizomwe zimafunika. Izi ndi zomwe mwanayo amafuna, monga momwe mukufunira kwa iye. Mwanjira ina, umu ndi mmene amalimbitsa unansi wake ndi inu.
- Dziwani kuti iyi ndi njira yabwino kwambiri yachitukuko. Mwa kukuthandizani, mwanayo amapeza maluso ofunika ndi kudzilemekeza pamene ulamuliro wake ukukulirakulira, ndi kudzimva kukhala wa m’banja lake, limenenso angathe kuthandizapo ku ubwino wake. Pomulola kuti akuthandizeni, simumapondereza kudzikonda kwake kwachibadwa, koma kumudyetsa.