Chodabwitsa chidachitika mu London Underground: okwera adapatsidwa "Tube Chat?" mabaji. (“Tiye tikambirane?”), kuwalimbikitsa kulankhulana mowonjezereka ndi kukhala omasuka kwa ena. Anthu a ku Britain akhala akukayikira za lingaliroli, koma wofalitsa nkhani Oliver Burkeman akuumirira kuti ndizomveka: Timasangalala kwambiri tikamalankhula ndi alendo.
Ndikudziwa kuti ndikhoza kutaya unzika wanga waku Britain ndikanena kuti ndimasilira zomwe M'America Jonathan Dunn, woyambitsa wa Let's Talk? Kodi mukudziwa momwe adachitira ndi mtima wankhanza wa anthu aku London pa ntchito yake? Ndinaitanitsa mabaji kuŵirikiza kaŵiri, ndinalemba antchito odzifunira ndipo ndinathamangiranso kunkhondo.
Osandimvetsa molakwa: monga munthu wa ku Britain, chinthu choyamba chimene ndinaganiza chinali chakuti iwo amene amadzipereka kulankhulana kwambiri ndi akunja ayenera kumangidwa popanda kuzengedwa mlandu. Koma ngati mukuganiza za izo, akadali kuchita zachilendo. Pamapeto pake, zochitazo sizimakakamiza zokambirana zosafunikira: ngati simunakonzekere kulankhulana, musavale baji. M'malo mwake, zonena zonse zimatsikira ku mkangano uwu: ndizowawa kwa ife kuyang'ana momwe okwera ena, achibwibwi movutikira, amayesa kuyambitsa zokambirana.
Koma ngati tachita mantha kwambiri ndi kuona anthu akuloŵa nawo m’kukambitsirana kwachibadwa pagulu, mwina alibe mavuto?
Kukana lingaliro lolankhulana ndi anthu osawadziwa ndiko kumvera nkhanza
Chifukwa chowonadi, potengera zotsatira za kafukufuku wa mphunzitsi waku America komanso katswiri wolankhulana ndi Keo Stark, ndikuti timakhala osangalala kwambiri tikamalankhula ndi anthu osawadziwa, ngakhale titatsimikiza pasadakhale kuti sitingathe kupirira. Mutuwu ukhoza kubweretsedwa mosavuta ku vuto la kuphwanya malire, kuzunzidwa kwapamsewu, koma Keo Stark nthawi yomweyo amawonekeratu kuti izi sizikukhudzana ndi kuwukira kwaukali kwa malo aumwini - sakuvomereza izi.
M’buku lake lakuti When Strangers Meet, iye ananena kuti njira yabwino yothanirana ndi mayanjano osasangalatsa, okwiyitsa pakati pa anthu osawadziŵa ndiyo kulimbikitsa ndi kukulitsa chikhalidwe cha maunansi ozikidwa pa kukhudzika mtima ndi chifundo. Kukana lingaliro lolankhulana ndi anthu osawadziwa kotheratu kuli ngati kuchitira nkhanza. Kukumana ndi alendo (mu thupi lawo loyenera, akufotokozera Keo Stark) kumakhala "malo okongola komanso osayembekezeka m'moyo wanthawi zonse, wodziwikiratu ... Mwadzidzidzi muli ndi mafunso omwe mumaganiza kuti mumawadziwa kale mayankho ake."
Kuwonjezera pa kuopa kugwiriridwa, lingaliro la kukambirana koteroko limatichotsa, mwina chifukwa limabisala mavuto awiri omwe timakumana nawo omwe amatilepheretsa kukhala osangalala.
Timatsatira lamulo ngakhale kuti sitilikonda chifukwa timaganiza kuti ena amavomereza.
Choyamba ndi chakuti ndife oipa pa "zowonetseratu zogwira mtima", ndiko kuti, sitingathe kulosera zomwe zingatisangalatse, "ngati masewerawa ndi ofunika makandulo". Ofufuza atafunsa anthu odzipereka kuti ayerekeze kuti akulankhula ndi anthu osawadziwa m’sitima kapena basi, iwo anachita mantha kwambiri. Akafunsidwa kuchita zimenezi m’moyo weniweni, iwo ankangonena kuti anasangalala ndi ulendowo.
Vuto lina ndi chodabwitsa cha «pluralistic (ambiri) umbuli», chifukwa chimene timatsatira malamulo ena, ngakhale sizikugwirizana ndi ife, chifukwa timakhulupirira kuti ena amavomereza. Panthawiyi, ena onse amaganiza chimodzimodzi (mwa kuyankhula kwina, palibe amene amakhulupirira, koma aliyense amaganiza kuti aliyense amakhulupirira). Ndipo zikuwonekeratu kuti onse omwe adakwera mgalimotoyo amakhala chete, ngakhale ena sangasangalale kuyankhula.
Sindikuganiza kuti okayikira adzakhutitsidwa ndi mikangano yonseyi. Inenso sindinakhulupirire zimenezo, choncho zoyesayesa zanga zomaliza kulankhulana ndi anthu osawadziŵa sizinaphule kanthu. Koma ganiziraninso za kulosera kwabwino: kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti zolosera zathu sizingakhale zodalirika. Ndiye mukutsimikiza kuti simudzavala Tiyeni Tilankhule? Mwina ichi ndi chizindikiro chabe kuti chingakhale choyenera.
Gwero: The Guardian.
Za Wolemba: Oliver Burkeman ndi wofalitsa nkhani waku Britain komanso wolemba The Antidote. Chithandizo cha moyo wosasangalala ”(Eksmo, 2014).