Kale moyo umatha ndi kuyamba kwa kupuma - munthu anasiya kufunikira pagulu ndipo, chabwino, anapereka moyo wake kwa ana ndi zidzukulu. Komabe, tsopano zonse zasintha. Ukalamba umatsegula malingaliro atsopano, akutero psychotherapist Varvara Sidorova.
Tsopano tili mu nthawi yosangalatsa. Anthu anayamba kukhala ndi moyo wautali, amamva bwino. Umoyo wabwino ndi wapamwamba, kotero pali mipata yambiri yodzipulumutsa ku ntchito zosafunika zakuthupi, tili ndi nthawi yaulere.
Kaonedwe ka zaka zimadalira zimene anthu akuona kuti ali nazo. Palibe m'badwo uliwonse wodzilungamitsa wodzitengera wekha. Masiku ano, anthu ambiri amene ali ndi zaka 50 akufuna kukhala ndi moyo zaka zina 20, 30. Ndipo nthawi yosayembekezereka imapangidwa m'moyo wa munthu, pamene zikuwoneka kuti ntchito zonse zamoyo zatha kale, koma pali nthawi yambiri.
Ndimakumbukira nthawi zomwe anthu adapuma pantchito atagwira ntchito zawo (akazi ali ndi zaka 55, amuna ku 60) ndikumverera kuti moyo watha kapena watsala pang'ono kutha. Pali kale bata, bata, monga momwe imatchulidwira, nthawi yopulumuka.
Ndipo ndikukumbukira bwino kuti mwamuna wa zaka 50 muubwana wanga anali cholengedwa chachikulire kwambiri ndi mimba, osati chifukwa ndinali wamng'ono. Iye ndi wolemekezeka, amawerenga nyuzipepala, amakhala m’dzikoli kapena amachita zinthu zokhumudwitsa kwambiri. Palibe amene ankayembekezera kuti mwamuna wa zaka 50, mwachitsanzo, adzathamanga. Zingawoneke zachilendo.
Ngakhale mlendo anali mayi wazaka za m'ma 50 yemwe adaganiza zopita kumasewera kapena kupita kuvina. Kusankha kuti pa 40 mutha kukhala ndi ana sikunaganizidwe nkomwe. Komanso, ndimakumbukira kukambitsirana za mnzanga wina: “Ndi zamanyazi bwanji, anabala ali ndi zaka 42.”
Panali chikhalidwe cha anthu kuti theka lachiwiri la moyo likhale chete, kuti munthu asakhalenso ndi zilakolako zapadera. Anakhala moyo wake bwino, monga akunena, ndipo tsopano ali m'mapiko a mbadwo wokangalika, akuthandiza ntchito zapakhomo. Ali ndi zokondweretsa zamtendere zochepa chabe, chifukwa munthu wokalamba ali ndi mphamvu zochepa, zikhumbo zochepa. Iye ali moyo.
Munthu wamakono wa makumi asanu amamva bwino, ali ndi mphamvu zambiri. Ena ali ndi ana ang’onoang’ono. Ndiyeno munthuyo ali pamphambano. Pali chinachake chimene chinaphunzitsidwa kwa agogo aamuna ndi agogo aamuna: kukhala moyo. Pali chinachake chimene chikhalidwe chamakono chimaphunzitsa tsopano - kukhala wachinyamata kwamuyaya.
Ndipo ngati muyang'ana pa malonda, mwachitsanzo, mukhoza kuona momwe ukalamba ukusiya chidziwitso cha misa. Palibe chithunzi chabwino komanso chokongola cha ukalamba pakutsatsa. Tonsefe timakumbukira kuchokera ku nthano kuti panali akazi okalamba omasuka, okalamba anzeru. Zonse zapita.
Mkati mwa tsopano pali chidziwitso choti muchite, momwe mungakonzekere moyo watsopanowu nokha.
Zitha kuwoneka momwe, pansi pa kupsinjika kwa kusintha kwa mikhalidwe, chithunzi chaukalamba chimasokonekera. Ndipo anthu amene tsopano akulowa m’badwo uno akuyenda m’malo anamwali. Pamaso pawo, palibe amene adadutsa gawo lodabwitsali. Pakakhala mphamvu, pali mwayi, palibe zokakamiza, palibe zoyembekeza zamagulu. Mumadzipeza muli pabwalo, ndipo kwa ambiri ndizowopsa.
Zikakhala zowopsa, timayesetsa kupeza chithandizo, malangizo kwa ife tokha. Chinthu chophweka ndikutenga chinachake chokonzekera: kaya chomwe chilipo kale, kapena kutenga chitsanzo cha khalidwe lachinyamata lomwe silili lokwanira, chifukwa zochitikazo zimakhala zosiyana, zilakolako zimakhala zosiyana ... zabwino kukhala wokhoza pa msinkhu uno, palibe amene akudziwa.
Ndinali ndi vuto losangalatsa. Mayi wina wazaka 64 anabwera kwa ine, yemwe anakumana ndi chikondi cha kusukulu, ndipo atatha zaka zitatu ali pachibwenzi, adaganiza zokwatira. Mosayembekezeka, anakumana ndi mfundo yakuti ambiri amamutsutsa. Komanso, mabwenzi ake anamuuzadi kuti: “Yakwana nthawi yoti uganizire za moyo wako, ndipo udzakwatiwa.” Ndipo, zikuwoneka, adachimwabe ndi ubale wathupi, womwe, kuchokera kwa abwenzi ake, sanakwere pazipata zilizonse.
Anathyoladi khoma, kusonyeza ndi chitsanzo chake kuti izi ndi zotheka. Izi zidzakumbukiridwa ndi ana ake, zidzukulu zake, ndiyeno chitsanzo ichi mwanjira ina chidzamangidwa m'mbiri ya banja. Ndi kuchokera ku zitsanzo zotere kuti kusintha kwa maganizo kukuchitika.
Chinthu chokha chomwe mungafune kuti anthu azaka izi ndikumvera nokha. Chifukwa mkati mwa tsopano pali chidziwitso choti muchite, momwe mungakonzekere moyo watsopanowu nokha. Palibe amene mungadalire: ndi inu nokha mungadziuze momwe mungakhalire.
Okhala mumzinda wamakono amasintha osati njira ya moyo yokha, komanso ntchito. M’badwo wanga, mwachitsanzo, m’ma 1990, ambiri anasintha ntchito. Ndipo poyamba zinali zovuta kwa aliyense, ndiyeno aliyense anapeza ntchito ankafuna. Ndipo pafupifupi onse anali osiyana ndi zimene anaphunzira poyamba.
Ndikuwona kuti anthu azaka 50 ayamba kufunafuna ntchito yatsopano. Ngati sangathe kuchita ntchito, amazichita mwachisangalalo.
Amene amadzipezera okha ntchito zatsopano samazindikira n’komwe nthaŵi yovuta kwa ambiri monga kupuma pantchito. Ndimayang'ana mwachidwi komanso chidwi chachikulu kwa anthu omwe m'badwo uno amapeza njira zatsopano popanda zolimbikitsana ndi zothandizira, ndimaphunzira kuchokera kwa iwo, ndimayesetsa kufotokozera zochitika zawo, ndipo mphindi ino ya kusintha kwa chikhalidwe cha anthu imandigwira kwambiri.
Zachidziwikire, mutha kukhumudwa kosatha kuti sanditenganso mwapadera, sindingathenso kupanga ntchito. Muyenera kuyesabe china chatsopano. Ngati simukutengedwera komwe mukufuna, pezani malo ena omwe mungasangalale, osangalatsa komanso osangalatsa.
Muli kuti mbuye wanu - pangakhale lingaliro lotere. Anthu ambiri amaopa zimene sizikudziwika, makamaka akamaganizira zimene ena angachite nazo. Koma ena amachita mosiyana.
Wina wa mayi wazaka 64 yemwe akuyesera kukhala ndi moyo mwachangu akuti: "Zowopsa bwanji, zowopsa bwanji." Wina ali ndi anthu ambiri omwe amatsutsa. Ndipo wina, m'malo mwake, akunena za iye: "Ndi munthu wabwino bwanji." Ndipo apa tikhoza kulangiza chinthu chimodzi: kuyang'ana anthu amalingaliro ofanana, yang'anani omwe angakuthandizeni. Anthu otere alipo ambiri, simuli nokha. Ndizo zowona.
Musayese kuoneka achigololo ndi wokongola. Osayang'ana chikondi, yang'anani chikondi
Komanso, yang’anani pagalasi ndi kuwongolera zimene muli nazo, ngakhale mutakumbukira kuti munali wamng’ono. Poyamba, mukhoza kuchita mantha mukayang'ana pamenepo, chifukwa m'malo mwa kukongola kwa zaka 20, mayi wachikulire wazaka 60 akuyang'anani. Koma mukamamupangitsa mayiyu kukhala wachichepere, koma wokongola, mudzamukonda kwambiri.
Onani akazi azaka 10, 15, 20 kuposa inu. Mukhoza kusankha chitsanzo, mutha kumvetsetsa zomwe mungadalire, zomwe mungayendere, momwe mungadzikongoletsera nokha kuti zisakhale zoseketsa, koma zachilengedwe.
Pali chinthu chimodzi chofunikira kwambiri: nthawi zambiri timasokoneza, makamaka posachedwapa, kukopa kugonana komanso kuthekera koyambitsa chikondi. Sikuti nthawi zonse timafunika kudzutsa chilakolako chogonana, ndikwanira kungochikonda.
Masiku ano, makamaka magazini kapena chikhalidwe cha pa TV chimatiuza kuti tiziwoneka achigololo. Koma ndizodabwitsa kuyang'ana achigololo pa 60, makamaka ngati simukufuna chirichonse chonga icho.
Tonse timamvetsetsa kuti pa 60 mkazi akhoza kukondedwa ndi anthu osiyanasiyana. Osati amuna okha omwe akufunafuna wokwatirana naye, mkazi wa 60 akhoza kukondedwa ndi akazi ena, amuna omwe sakuyang'ana wokwatirana naye, koma munthu wokondweretsa, wabwino.
Akhoza kukondedwa ndi ana, okalamba, ngakhale amphaka ndi agalu. Musayese kuyang'ana achigololo ndi wokongola ndipo musayang'ane izo. Osayang'ana chikondi, yang'anani chikondi. Zikhala zosavuta.