Timakonda kuchitira chikondi ngati kumverera kwamatsenga komwe kumapangitsa moyo wathu kukhala wosangalala, kumapereka mphamvu komanso kumvetsetsa kwatsopano kwa ife tokha. Zonsezi ndi zoona, koma pokhapokha ngati sitikuopa ululu umene tingakumane nawo panthawi imodzi, akatswiri athu amati. Ndipo amasanthula zochitika pamene tingogwiritsa ntchito mnzathu kuyesa kuchepetsa mantha kapena kubisala zomwe takumana nazo.
Mmodzi yekha
“Sindikanakhala popanda munthu ameneyu, ndinkakhala moyembekezera misonkhano, koma chikondi sichinali chapakati,” akukumbukira motero Alla. – Iye nthawi zambiri ozizira ndi ine, tinakumana kokha pa nthawi yabwino kwa iye. Zingawoneke kuti ndidakhalapo kale muubwana wanga, pamene abambo anga, atatha kusudzulana, sanawonekere pamasiku ogwirizana, ndipo ndinali kumuyembekezera, ndikulira.
Ndiye sindinathe kulamulira mkhalidwewo, ndipo tsopano ndinadzipangira ndekha helo ndi manja anga. Pamene mwamunayo anaganiza kuti tichoke, ndinagwa m’maganizo ndipo, ngakhale pozindikira kuti sitingakhale ndi tsogolo, sindingathe kulingalira wina pafupi ndi ine.
"Tikangoyamba kuganiza kuti chikondi chathu ndi chapadera ndipo palibe chonga ichi chingachitikenso kwa ife, ndi mwayi waukulu izi siziri zokhudzana ndi kuyanjana ndi wokondedwa weniweni, koma kubwereza zochitika zomwe mobwerezabwereza zimafuna chisamaliro, ” akutero Marina Meows, katswiri wa zamaganizo. - Pankhaniyi, heroine mwiniwake amajambula kufanana ndi kuzizira, bambo wosayanjanitsika, yemwe amamupeza mnzako yemwe ali ndi makhalidwe osokoneza bongo, zomwe zimamulola kuti azikumbukiranso zochitika za ana.
Pamene munthu amakhala wodziimira payekha komanso wodziimira payekha, samayang'ana amayi kapena abambo ake posankha bwenzi
Kukopa kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kumapangidwa muubwana: amayi / abambo, malinga ndi chiphunzitso cha Freud, amakhala chinthu choyamba chogonana ndi mwanayo. Ngati nthawi yoyambirira iyi ya moyo idayenda bwino, mwanayo adakondedwa ndipo panthawi imodzimodziyo adaphunzitsidwa kuti adzizindikire yekha ngati munthu wodziimira payekha, mu nthawi ya pambuyo pa msinkhu safuna kusankha anthu omwe amamukumbutsa za makolo ake monga zibwenzi.
Uwu ndi mtundu wa mayeso a kukhwima: pamene munthu ali wodziimira payekha komanso wodziimira payekha, amayang'ana mochepa kwa amayi kapena abambo ake posankha bwenzi. Sayesa kulosera zofanana za maonekedwe kapena machitidwe a wokondedwa wake, ndipo samapindulanso zochitika zaubwana zomwe sizinali zamoyo mu maubwenzi.
Mabwenzi opanda ufulu
Artem anati: “Pamene tinakumana, iye anali wokwatiwa, koma ndinalephera kulimbana ndi mkwiyowo. - Nthawi yomweyo ndinazindikira kuti ndinafunika mkazi uyu yekha, ndinazunzidwa ndi nsanje, ndinaganiza momwe ndingaphe mwamuna wake. Anavutika, analira, anali wosweka pakati pa maudindo a mkazi ndi amayi ndi chikondi chathu. Komabe, pamene anaganiza zosudzulana ndi kukakhala nane, sitinathe kusunga ubale wathu.”
"Kusankha bwenzi lopanda ufulu ndi chitsanzo china chowoneka bwino cha malingaliro kwa kholo lomwe silinaponderezedwe paubwana," akutero katswiri wa psychoanalyst Olga Sosnovskaya. "Ngati mutamasulira zomwe zikuchitika m'chinenero cha psychoanalysis, ndiye kuti munthu akuyesera kulowa pabedi la munthu wina ndikuphwanya mgwirizano, monga momwe ankafunira kulekanitsa banja la makolo."
Kubwereza mobwerezabwereza zochitika zaubwana m’maubwenzi achikulire sikudzatipangitsa kukhala achimwemwe.
Muubwana, tonsefe timadutsa siteji ya chidani chosadziwika kwa makolo athu chifukwa ndi a wina ndi mzake, ndipo timasiyidwa opanda mnzako, tokha. Zomwe zinachitikira zovuta za Oedipus ndikuyesa kulekanitsa amayi ndi abambo ndipo mophiphiritsira ndiyenera mmodzi wa makolo. Ngati akuluakulu sanathandize mwanayo m'malo othandizira kuti adutse siteji ya kulekana ndikudzilekanitsa ngati munthu wa banja la makolo, ndiye kuti m'tsogolomu tidzakankhidwanso kusankha bwenzi lopanda ufulu ndi chilakolako chobwereza ndi kuthetsa. zochitika zowawa za ana.
Olga Sosnovskaya akufotokoza kuti: "Sizinangochitika kuti nkhani ya Artem ikutha ndi mfundo yakuti moyo pamodzi sukuyenda bwino. - Ngakhale titathetsa banja la munthu wina ndikusudzulana, nthawi zambiri amataya kukongola kwake. Libido yathu ikutha. Kubwerezabwereza zomwe zachitika paubwana m’maubwenzi achikulire sikungatipangitse kukhala achimwemwe.”
Othandizana nawo mufiriji
“Takhala limodzi kwa zaka zingapo, ndipo nthaŵi yonseyi mwamuna wanga amakhalabe ndi maunansi ndi atsikana ena amene amawatcha mabwenzi,” akuvomereza motero Anna. - Mmodzi wa iwo ndi wakale yemwe amamukondabe, enanso mwachiwonekere samamunyalanyaza. Ndimaona kuti chidwi chawo chimamusangalatsa. Sindikufuna kukulitsa maubwenzi ndi kumukakamiza kuti athetse maubwenzi amenewa, koma zomwe zikuchitika kwa ine sizosangalatsa. Zimatilekanitsa wina ndi mnzake.”
Othandizana nawo opuma ndi chitsimikizo chophiphiritsira kuti ngati mutapatukana mosayembekezereka kuchokera kwamuyaya, sangakulole kuti mugwe m'masautso ndikumva zowawa zomwe munthu amawopa ndikuzipewa. Komabe, "firiji yamalingaliro" iyi iyenera kusungidwa: kudyetsedwa ndi misonkhano, zokambirana, malonjezano.
Marina Myaus akukumbukira kuti: - Pali kugawanika kwa chidziwitso, tikamaopa kukhulupirira bwenzi limodzi. Amamva, ndipo sizikulolani kuti mukwaniritse ubwenzi weniweni.
Momwe mungayankhulire ndi mnzanu
"Cholakwika chachikulu mukakumana ndikupeza chitsimikizo posachedwa kuti mnzakeyo ali wokonzeka kupanga banja ndi ife," akutero Olga Sosnovskaya. "Sitimadzivutitsa kuzindikira munthu ndikuyandikira kwa iye pang'onopang'ono, timayesetsa kukakamiza wina ntchito yomwe adapatsidwa kale."
Izi ndichifukwa choti ambiri aife timaopa kukanidwa, mwayi woti ubalewo sungathe, ndipo yesetsani kuyika "i" pasadakhale. Izi zimawerengedwa ndi mbali ina ngati kukakamizidwa kwaukali, komwe kumawononga nthawi yomweyo kukhulupirirana komanso kuthekera kwa mgwirizano, womwe, ngati tikhala ndi khalidwe losiyana ndi wokondedwa, tikhoza kukhala ndi tsogolo.
"Nthawi zambiri, kuopa kukanidwa kumatikakamiza kuyesa kupanga malingaliro amunthu wina, opangidwa kuti apangitse mnzathu kukondana ndi kugonjera zofuna zathu," akutero Marina Myaus. "Amamva ndipo mwachibadwa amakana kukhala loboti yomvera."
Kuti mupange ubale wozama, wokhutiritsa, ndikofunikira choyamba kuthana ndi mantha anu ndikusiya kuyembekezera zitsimikizo za thanzi lanu lamalingaliro kuchokera kwa gulu lachiwiri.