"Okwatirana Okondana": ndi zoopsa ziti zomwe zimawadikirira?

Mtsikana wina wazaka 26, dzina lake Katerina, ananena kuti: “Timachezera limodzi nthawi yathu yonse yopuma, timapita limodzi kukacheza ndi anzathu komanso anthu amene timadziwana nawo, timapita kutchuthi tili awiri okha.

“Sindinakhaleko popanda inu” ndiwo mwambi wa okwatirana osalekanitsa. Maria ndi Yegor amagwira ntchito limodzi. "Iwo ali ngati chamoyo chimodzi - amakonda chinthu chomwecho, amavala mtundu wofanana, ngakhale kumaliza mawu a wina ndi mzake," akutero katswiri wa zamaganizo Saverio Tomasella, mlembi wa The Merge Relationship.

Zochitika zambiri, mantha ndi chizolowezi

The psychoanalyst amakhulupirira kuti okwatirana osagwirizana akhoza kugawidwa m'magulu atatu.

Mtundu woyamba - awa ndi maubwenzi omwe adayamba kale kwambiri, pamene okwatiranawo adakali ndi mapangidwe awo. Angakhale mabwenzi a kusukulu, mwinanso a kusukulu ya pulaimale. Zomwe zinachitikira kukulira limodzi zimalimbitsa ubale wawo - mu nthawi iliyonse ya moyo wawo adawonana mbali ndi mbali, ngati chiwonetsero cha galasi.

Mtundu wachiwiri - pamene mmodzi wa okondedwa, ndipo mwina onse awiri, sangathe kupirira kusungulumwa. Ngati wosankhidwa wake asankha kukhala madzulo padera, amamva kuti wasiyidwa komanso wosafunikira. Kufunika kophatikizana mwa anthu oterowo kumalimbikitsidwa ndi mantha kuti adzasiyidwa okha. Maubwenzi oterowo nthawi zambiri amabadwanso, kukhala odalirana.

Mtundu wachitatu - omwe anakulira m'banja lomwe chiyanjano chinali chomwecho. Anthuwa akungotsatira ndondomeko yomwe yakhala ikuwonekera nthawi zonse.

Fragile idyll

Paokha, maubwenzi omwe moyo wa anthu okwatirana umagwirizana kwambiri sangatchulidwe kuti ndi oopsa. Mofanana ndi china chirichonse, ndi nkhani ya kudziletsa.

“Nthawi zina, mbalame zachikondi zimakhalabe ndi ufulu wodzilamulira, ndipo izi sizikhala vuto,” akutero Saverio Tomasella. - Mwa ena, kuphatikiza kumakhala kokwanira: wina wopanda wina amadzimva kuti ndi wolakwika, wochepera. Pali «ife», osati «ine». Pamapeto pake, nkhawa nthawi zambiri imabwera muubwenzi, okwatirana amatha kuchita nsanje ndikuyesera kulamulirana.

Pamene malire aumwini samveka bwino, timasiya kudzilekanitsa tokha ndi munthu wina. Zimafika poti timawona kusagwirizana pang'ono ngati kuwopseza moyo wabwino. Kapena mosemphanitsa, kusungunula kwina, timasiya kudzimvera tokha ndipo zotsatira zake - pakadutsa nthawi yopuma - timakumana ndi vuto lalikulu laumwini.

“Kudalira maganizo n’koopsa chifukwa kumaphatikizapo kudalira nzeru ngakhalenso zachuma,” akufotokoza motero katswiriyo. "Mmodzi mwa okondedwawo nthawi zambiri amakhala ngati awiri, pomwe winayo amakhalabe wachibwana ndipo sangathe kusankha yekha."

Ubwenzi wodalirana kaŵirikaŵiri umayamba pakati pa anthu amene analibe unansi wosungika, wodalirika ndi makolo awo ali ana. "Kusowa kwapang'onopang'ono kwa munthu wina kumakhala njira - tsoka, osachita bwino - kudzaza kusowa kwamalingaliro," akufotokoza Saverio Tomasella.

Kuchokera ku Chigwirizano kupita ku Kuvutika

Kudalira kumawonekera mu zizindikiro zosiyanasiyana. Izi zikhoza kukhala nkhawa ngakhale chifukwa cha kupatukana kwakanthawi kochepa ndi mnzanu, chikhumbo chotsatira njira yake iliyonse, kudziwa zomwe akuchita panthawi inayake.

Chizindikiro china ndikutseka kwa awiriwo pawokha. Othandizana nawo amachepetsa chiwerengero cha oyanjana nawo, kupanga mabwenzi ochepa, kudzipatula okha kudziko lapansi ndi khoma losaoneka. Onse amene amadzilola kukayikira zosankha zawo amakhala adani ndipo amadulidwa. Kudzipatula koteroko kungayambitse mikangano ndi kutha kwa ubale ndi achibale ndi mabwenzi.

Ngati muwona zizindikiro izi muubwenzi wanu, ndi bwino kukaonana ndi dokotala mwamsanga.

"Kudalira kukakhala kodziwikiratu, chikondi chimayamba kukhala kuvutika, koma ngakhale lingaliro lakutha limawoneka lodabwitsa kwa okwatirana," atero a Saverio Tomasella. - Kuti tiwone bwinobwino momwe zinthu zilili, okwatirana ayenera choyamba kudzizindikira okha ngati payekha, kuphunzira kumvera zofuna zawo ndi zosowa zawo. Mwina adzasankha kukhala limodzi - koma paziganizo zatsopano zomwe zingaganizire zofuna za aliyense.