Othandizana nawo amawakhululukira zidule zonyansa kwambiri. Olamulira amakhala kumbali yawo nthawi zonse. Ngakhale iwo amene adawapereka ali okonzeka kuyimirira ndi phiri. Kodi chinsinsi cha «wanzeru bastards»?
Posachedwapa, tikuwerenga mowonjezereka nkhani za nyenyezi zathu za amuna akale omwe adawanyoza, kuwanyoza ndi kuwamenya. Izi zikufunsa funso: kodi mkazi wopambana ndi wokongola angasankhe bwanji munthu wotero ngati bwenzi lake? N’chifukwa chiyani sanazindikire zimene ankafuna kuchita?
Mwinamwake, amuna akale ali ndi makhalidwe omwe akatswiri a maganizo amatchula "utatu wakuda" - narcissism, Machiavellianism (chizolowezi chosokoneza ena) ndi psychopathy. Kafukufuku waposachedwapa akuunikira chifukwa chake mikhalidwe imeneyi ilidi, ngakhale kuti ndi yowononga, imapangitsa eni ake kukhala okopa.
Nicholas Holtzman ndi Michael Strube ochokera ku yunivesite ya Washington (USA)1 adafufuza ulalo pakati pa kukongola kwakuthupi ndi chizolowezi cha narcissism, psychopathy, ndi Machiavellianism. Anaitanira ophunzira 111 ku labotale. Choyamba, adajambulidwa, kenaka adafunsidwa kuti asinthe zovala zawo kukhala okonzekeratu - mophweka komanso osalowerera ndale.
Azimayi adafunsidwanso kuti azitsuka zodzoladzola zonse, zodzikongoletsera, ndi kusunga tsitsi lawo mu ponytail. Kenako anajambulidwanso m’chifaniziro chatsopano. Holtzman ndi Strube adawonetsa gulu la anthu osawadziwa zomwe adazijambulazo, akuwapempha kuti aziwawerengera motengera kukongola kwawo. Ankafuna kumvetsetsa kuti ndi ndani mwa ophunzira omwe adatha kudzipanga kukhala osatsutsika ndi chithandizo cha zovala, zodzoladzola ndi zowonjezera.
Narcissists obisika ndi onyenga sakhala okongola kuposa ena, koma ali bwino podziwonetsera okha.
Ofufuzawo adapanga chithunzi chamaganizo cha omwe adachita nawo, komanso adafunsana ndi anzawo ndi abwenzi awo pafoni ndi imelo. Pophatikiza giredi yawo ndi magiredi a anthu ena, adapeza mbiri ya wophunzira aliyense.
Ena a iwo anasonyeza tingachipeze powerenga makhalidwe a «wakuda triad»: otsika chifundo, chizolowezi kuphwanya malire ndi ntchito ena kukwaniritsa cholinga chawo, chilakolako udindo ndi kutchuka. Zinapezeka kuti anthuwa ankaonedwa kuti ndi okopa kwambiri kwa alendo.
Zinali chidwi kuti kusiyana pakati pa mavoti awo pamaso ndi pambuyo zithunzi anali pazipita. Ndiko kuti, anthu onyansidwa mwachinsinsi ndi onyenga sanali kupambanitsa ena m’kukopa pamene anali kuvala ma T-shirt ndi mathalauza ang’onoang’ono. Kotero, mfundo ndi yakuti iwo ali okhoza bwino kudziwonetsera okha. Deta iyi ikugwirizana ndi zotsatira za maphunziro apitalo: anthu osokoneza bongo ndi okongola kwambiri kuposa ena poyang'ana koyamba - kwenikweni.
Asayansi akusonyeza kuti mbali ziŵiri zaphatikizidwa apa: “nzeru” zotukuka za anthu onyenga ndi zolakwa zathu zamalingaliro. Narcissists amawoneka okongola kwa ife chifukwa cha kuthekera kwawo kugometsa: amawoneka ochititsa chidwi, kumwetulira kwambiri, kugwiritsa ntchito mwaluso chilankhulo. Tikhoza kunena kuti ndi akatswiri odziwonetsera okha. Amadziwa bwino momwe angapezere chidwi ndi kudzutsa chidwi mwa iwo eni.
Pamene wina akuwoneka wokongola komanso wokongola kwa ife, timangoganiza kuti ndi wachifundo, wanzeru komanso wodalirika.
Kukongola kwa thupi la munthu nthawi zambiri kumagwirizanitsidwa ndi mikhalidwe ina yabwino, chodabwitsa chotchedwa "halo effect". Ngati wina akuwoneka wokongola komanso wokongola kwa ife, timangoganiza kuti ndi wachifundo, wanzeru komanso wodzidalira. Izi, makamaka, zimathandiza onyenga kudzikondweretsa okha ndi omwe akuzunzidwa, kukhala ndi maudindo a utsogoleri ndikupeza othandizira okhulupirika.
Narcissists ndi sociopaths samamvetsetsa tanthauzo la ubale, motero amalimbikira kwambiri kuti apange chithunzi chodabwitsa. Ndipo izi ndi zolimbikitsa: zotsatira za chithunzi choyamba sizikhala kwamuyaya. Fumbi limene amaponya m’maso mwawo lidzatha posachedwa. Chitsimikizo chidzasweka. Tsoka ilo, nthawi zambiri abwenzi ndi abwenzi amawakonda kwambiri kotero kuti samapeza mphamvu zothetsa ubale.
Koma nthawi zambiri, chidziwitso chimagwira chinthu chomwe sichikugwirizana ndi chithunzi choyenera m'mutu mwathu: kuyang'ana kozizira, kusintha kwachangu, kutsekemera kosadziwika ...
1 Social Psychological and Personality Science, 2013, vol. 4, №4.