Kalekale, mudayaka ndi chikhumbo ndipo simungakhulupirire kuti tsiku lidzafika pamene mungakonde kugona ndi bukhu kusiyana ndi kugonana ndi wokondedwa wanu. Ofufuza akuti kuchepa kwa chilakolako cha kugonana kwa amayi kukukhala mliri. Kodi timafunikira Viagra yachikazi kapena tizingoyang'ana vuto kumbali ina?
Ekaterina ali ndi zaka 42, mnzake Artem ali ndi zaka 45, akhala limodzi kwa zaka zisanu ndi chimodzi. Nthawi zonse ankadziona ngati wokonda kwambiri, anali ndi maubwenzi wamba, ndi okonda ena, kupatulapo Artem. M'zaka zoyambirira, moyo wawo wogonana unali wovuta kwambiri, koma tsopano, Ekaterina akuvomereza, "zili ngati kusintha kwasinthidwa."
Amakondanabe wina ndi mzake, koma pakati pa kugonana ndi kusamba kosangalatsa kwamadzulo ndi bukhu labwino, iye adzasankha chomaliza popanda kukayikira. "Artyom amakhumudwa pang'ono ndi izi, koma ndikumva kutopa kwambiri kotero kuti ndimafuna kulira," akutero.
Katswiri wa zamaganizo Dr. Laurie Mintz, pulofesa wa zamaganizo pa yunivesite ya Florida, mu Njira Yopita Kugonana Mwachidwi kwa Mkazi Wotopa, akutchula njira zisanu zothandizira kudzutsanso chilakolako: malingaliro, kukambirana, nthawi, kukhudza, chibwenzi.
Chofunika kwambiri, malinga ndi iye, choyamba - «maganizo.» Ngati titenga udindo pazosangalatsa zathu, titha kupeza njira yopulumutsira ku chilakolako chogonana.
Psychology: Funso lovomerezeka ndi chifukwa chiyani bukuli ndi la akazi okha? Kodi amuna alibe vuto ndi chilakolako chogonana?
Lori Mintz: Ndikuganiza kuti ndi nkhani ya biology. Azimayi ali ndi testosterone yocheperapo kuposa amuna, ndipo imayambitsanso kukula kwa chikhumbo. Munthu akatopa kapena akuvutika maganizo, testosterone yochepa imapangidwa, ndipo izi zimakhudza amayi kwambiri. Kuphatikiza apo, amakhala okonda kwambiri zomwe zimatchedwa "erotic plasticity": zovuta zakunja zimakhudza akazi nthawi zambiri.
Kodi zimene timayembekezera zimagwiranso ntchito? Ndiko kuti, akazi amangodzitsimikizira okha kuti alibenso chidwi ndi kugonana? Kapena amamukonda kwambiri kuposa amuna?
Ambiri amaopa kuvomereza kuti kugonana ndi kofunika kwambiri. Nthano ina ndi yakuti kugonana kuyenera kukhala chinthu chophweka komanso chachibadwa, ndipo tiyenera kukhala okonzeka nthawi zonse. Chifukwa ukakhala wamng’ono, ndi mmene zimamvera. Ndipo ngati kuphweka kutha ndi zaka, timakhulupirira kuti kugonana sikofunikanso.
Muyenera kugonana. Iyi si njira yogulitsirana ndi mnzanu. Zibweretse chisangalalo
Inde, awa si madzi kapena chakudya, mukhoza kukhala popanda izo. Koma mukusiya kuchuluka kwa chisangalalo chamalingaliro ndi thupi.
Nthanthi ina yotchuka ndi yakuti akazi ambiri amadzigwirira ntchito mopambanitsa mwa kukana kugonana ndi mnzawo. Choncho amamulanga chifukwa chosathandiza panyumbapo.
Inde, zimachitika kawirikawiri - akazi omwe amakwiyira amuna chifukwa cha ulesi wawo. Iwo akhoza kumveka. Koma ngati mumagwiritsa ntchito kugonana ngati chilango kapena mphotho, mukhoza kuiwala kuti ziyenera kubweretsa chisangalalo. Muyenera kugonana. Iyi si njira yogulitsirana ndi mnzanu. Zibweretse chisangalalo. Tiyenera kudzikumbutsa tokha za izi.
Koyambira?
Ganizirani za chikhumbo. Ganizirani za iye masana komanso panthawi yogonana. Khalani ndi "zogonana mphindi zisanu" tsiku lililonse: pumani pazochitika zanu ndikukumbukira kugonana kwabwino komwe mudakhala nako. Mwachitsanzo, momwe mudakhalira ndi orgasm yodabwitsa kapena kupanga chikondi pamalo osazolowereka. Mutha kulingalira zongopeka zosangalatsa kwambiri. Nthawi yomweyo, chitani masewera olimbitsa thupi a Kegel: limbitsani ndikupumula minofu ya ukazi.
Kodi pali ena omwe amakulepheretsani kusangalala ndi kugonana?
Anthu ambiri amaganiza kuti ndi msinkhu palibe chomwe chiyenera kusintha pa moyo wawo wogonana. Ndipotu, kwa zaka zambiri, muyenera kuphunziranso za kugonana kwanu, kumvetsetsa momwe zikugwirizanirana ndi moyo wanu wamakono. Mwina chilakolako sichidzabwera kale, koma kale panthawi yogonana.
Ndiye inu kulungamitsa «kugonana pa ntchito»? Kodi ili lingakhaledi yankho ku vuto lolakalaka?
Ndi za ubale. Ngati mkazi akudziwa kuti chilakolako nthawi zambiri chimabwera pambuyo poganiza zogonana, zikuwoneka ngati zachilendo kwa iye. Iye sangaganize kuti chinachake chalakwika ndi iye, koma amangosangalala ndi kugonana. Ndiye siilinso ntchito, koma zosangalatsa. Koma ngati mukuganiza kuti: "Choncho, lero ndi Lachitatu, tikudutsa kugonana, nditha kugona mokwanira," iyi ndi ntchito.
Lingaliro lalikulu la bukhu lanu ndikuti mkazi amatha kudziletsa yekha zomwe akufuna. Koma mnzawo sali nawo mchitidwewu?
Nthawi zambiri, wokondedwayo amasiya kuyambitsa kugonana ngati akuwona kuti mkaziyo akutaya chilakolako. Chifukwa chakuti sakufuna kukanidwa. Koma ngati mkazi atakhala woyambitsa yekha, ichi ndi chopambana chachikulu. Kuyembekezera ndi kukonzekera kungakhale kosangalatsa kwambiri mukasiya kupanga kugonana kukhala chintchito.