Kaduka, mkwiyo, njiru - n'zotheka kulola kuti mukhale ndi "zolakwika" maganizo? Kodi tingavomereze bwanji kupanda ungwiro kwathu n’kumvetsa mmene tikumvera komanso zimene tikufuna? Psychotherapist Sharon Martin amalangiza kuchita mwanzeru.
Kuchita zinthu mwanzeru kumatanthauza kukhala pakali pano, pano ndi pano, osati m'mbuyomu kapena mtsogolo. Ambiri amalephera kukhala ndi moyo mokwanira chifukwa timathera nthaŵi yochuluka tikudera nkhaŵa zimene zingachitike kapena kukumbukira zimene zinachitika. Kugwira ntchito kosalekeza kumakulepheretsani kucheza ndi inuyo komanso anthu ena.
Mutha kuyang'ana osati pa yoga kapena kusinkhasinkha. Kusamala kumagwira ntchito m'mbali zonse za moyo: mutha kudya chakudya chamasana kapena udzu. Kuti muchite izi, musathamangire ndipo musayese kuchita zinthu zingapo nthawi imodzi.
Kusamala kumatithandiza kusangalala ndi zinthu zing'onozing'ono monga kutentha kwadzuwa kapena masamba atsopano, abwino pabedi.
Ngati tiwona dziko lozungulira ife mothandizidwa ndi mphamvu zisanu zonse, ndiye kuti timazindikira ndikuyamba kuyamikira tinthu tating'ono tomwe sitisamala. Kusamala kumakuthandizani kusangalala ndi kuwala kwadzuwa komanso masamba owoneka bwino pakama panu.
Ngati zimakuvutani kuyeseza, musataye mtima. Tazolowera kusokonezedwa, kuchita zinthu zingapo nthawi imodzi ndikudzaza ndandanda. Kulingalira kumatenga njira yosiyana. Kumatithandiza kukhala ndi moyo mokwanira. Tikamaika maganizo athu pa zimene zikuchitika panopa, timatha kuona osati zimene timaona, komanso zimene tikumva. Nazi njira zingapo zomwe zingakuthandizeni kuphunzira kukhala ndi moyo panopa.
Lumikizanani nanu
Kusamala kumakuthandizani kuti mumvetsetse nokha. Nthawi zambiri timayang'ana kunja kuti tipeze mayankho, koma njira yokhayo yodziwira kuti ndife ndani komanso zomwe timafunikira ndikuyang'ana mkati mwathu.
Ife tokha sitidziwa zomwe timamva ndi zomwe timafunikira, chifukwa nthawi zonse timasokoneza malingaliro athu ndi chakudya, mowa, mankhwala osokoneza bongo, zosangalatsa zamagetsi, zolaula. Izi ndi zosangalatsa zomwe zimapezeka mosavuta komanso mwachangu. Ndi chithandizo chawo, timayesetsa kuwongolera moyo wathu ndikudzilepheretsa tokha ku zovuta.
Kulingalira kumatithandiza kuti tisabise, koma kuti tipeze yankho. Poyang'ana zomwe zikuchitika, timawona bwino momwe zinthu zilili. Pochita zinthu mwanzeru, timatsegula malingaliro atsopano ndipo sitimamatira m'malingaliro.
dzivomereni wekha
Kulingalira kumatithandiza kudzivomereza tokha: timadzilola tokha malingaliro ndi malingaliro athu popanda kuyesa kuwapondereza kapena kuwaletsa. Kuti tipirire zokumana nazo zovuta, timayesa kudzidodometsa, kukana malingaliro athu kapena kupeputsa tanthauzo lake. Mwa kuwapondereza, timaoneka ngati tikudziuza tokha kuti malingaliro ndi malingaliro oterowo nzosaloleka. M’malo mwake, ngati tivomereza, timadzisonyeza kuti tingapirire ndipo palibe chamanyazi kapena choletsedwa m’kati mwake.
Sitingakonde kupsa mtima ndi kaduka, koma kutengeka maganizo kumeneku n’kwachibadwa. Mwa kuwazindikira, tingayambe kugwira nawo ntchito ndi kusintha. Ngati tipitiriza kupondereza kaduka ndi mkwiyo, sitingathe kuzichotsa. Kusintha kumatheka pokhapokha atavomereza.
Tikamachita zinthu mwanzeru, timaganizira kwambiri zomwe zili patsogolo pathu. Zimenezi sizikutanthauza kuti tizingoganizira za mavuto mpaka kalekale. Timavomereza moona mtima zonse zomwe timamva komanso zonse zomwe zili mkati mwathu.
Musayesere kuchita zinthu mwangwiro
Mwachidziwitso, timadzivomereza tokha, miyoyo yathu, ndi wina aliyense momwe alili. Sitikuyesera kukhala angwiro, kukhala munthu yemwe sitiri, kuchotsa maganizo athu ku mavuto athu. Timaona popanda kuweruza kapena kugawa chilichonse kukhala chabwino ndi choipa.
Timalola malingaliro aliwonse, kuchotsa masks, kuchotsa kumwetulira kwabodza ndikusiya kunamizira kuti zonse zili bwino pomwe sizili bwino. Izi sizikutanthauza kuti timayiwala za kukhalapo kwa zam'mbuyo kapena zam'tsogolo, timapanga chisankho kuti tikhalepo mokwanira panopa.
Chifukwa cha zimenezi, timamva chimwemwe ndi chisoni kwambiri, koma timadziwa kuti maganizo amenewa ndi enieni, ndipo sitiyesa kuwakankhira kutali kapena kuwafotokoza ngati chinthu china. Mu chidziwitso, timachedwetsa, kumvera thupi, malingaliro ndi malingaliro, zindikirani gawo lililonse ndikuvomereza zonse. Timadziuza tokha kuti: “Pakali pano, ndi amene ndili, ndipo ndine woyenera kulemekezedwa ndi kulandiridwa—momwe ndiriri.”