Ukwati lero ndi zaka 100 zapitazo: pali kusiyana kotani?

Kukula kwa mafakitale, kumasulidwa kwa amayi, ndi kusintha kwa 1917 zinalimbikitsa anthu ndi kuwononga malingaliro okhazikika a banja ndi ukwati. Kwa zaka zoposa XNUMX, iwo asintha kwambiri moti malamulo ambiri amaoneka ngati ankhanza.

N'chiyani chatsintha?

Age

Ku Russia kumayambiriro kwa zaka za zana la 18, lamulo lachifumu linali logwira ntchito lomwe linakhazikitsa zaka zaukwati: kwa amuna anali ndi zaka 16, kwa akazi - 22. Koma oimira magulu apansi nthawi zambiri amatembenukira kwa akuluakulu a tchalitchi ndi pempho. kuti akwatire ana awo aakazi tsiku lovomerezeka lisanafike. Izi kaŵirikaŵiri zinalongosoledwa ndi chenicheni chakuti wochereza alendo amafunikira m’nyumba ya mkwati. Panthawi imodzimodziyo, ali ndi zaka 23-XNUMX, mtsikanayo panthawiyo ankaganiziridwa kale kuti "adakhalabe" ndipo tsogolo lake linali, kunena mofatsa, mosakayikira.

Masiku ano, Malamulo a Banja amakono ku Russia amalola ukwati kuyambira zaka 18. Muzochitika zapadera, mukhoza kusaina pa 16, kapena ngakhale kale. Monga lamulo, maziko a izi ndi mimba kapena kubadwa kwa mwana. Komabe, ziŵerengero zimasonyeza kuti maukwati aang’ono asoŵa. Buku laposachedwa la Demographic Yearbook of Russia la 2019 limatsimikizira kuti mabanja ambiri amalembetsa maubwenzi azaka 27-29. Amuna ndi akazi ambiri amakwatirana kwa nthawi yoyamba atakwanitsa zaka 35. Ndipo mawu akuti «wadzakazi wakale» amachititsa kumwetulira kodabwitsa.

Mawonedwe pa maubwenzi

Kugonana musanakwatirane zaka 100 zapitazo kunkaonedwa kuti ndi uchimo, ufulu wogonana unaperekedwa kokha ndi lumbiro lopatulika, losindikizidwa ndi tchalitchi. Gawo la chibwenzi lotseguka linayamba pokhapokha atagwirizana. Koma ngakhale pamenepa, mkwati ndi mkwatibwi sankatha kukhala okha. Pafupi, amayi, azakhali, mlongo anali akuzungulira - ambiri, wina wachitatu. Zinali zotheka kukwatiwa ndi kukwatiwa kokha ndi chilolezo cha makolo: ndi anthu ochepa omwe analimba mtima kuchita zosemphana ndi chifuniro cha atate awo.

Tsopano n’kovuta kwa ife kuganiza kuti n’zotheka kugwirizanitsa choikidwiratu ndi munthu amene sitikumudziŵa kwenikweni. Koma momwe mungakumane, kuyankhula, kuyenda ndi dzanja, kukumbatirana ndi kupsompsona, kuyesa kukhala pamodzi, potsiriza? Pamenepa, nthaŵi zambiri makolo amangoikidwa patsogolo.

Zoyembekeza zonse

Mu Russia isanayambe kusintha, sipangakhale funso la kufanana kwaukwati. Mkazi anali wodalira kotheratu kwa mwamuna wake—ponse paŵiri mwakuthupi ndi mwamakhalidwe. Anayenera kuyang’anira banja, kubala ana, “kuchuluka kwa Mulungu adzapereka,” ndi kuloŵerera m’kulera kwawo. Ndi mabanja olemera okha omwe angakwanitse kugula mwana wakhanda komanso womuyang'anira.

Nkhanza zapakhomo zinalimbikitsidwa mosabisa, panali mawu akuti: "Phunzitsani mkazi wanu." Ndipo izi anachimwa osati «mdima» osauka, komanso olemekezeka aristocrats. Ndinayenera kupirira, apo ayi sikunali kotheka kudzidyetsa ndekha ndi ana. Ntchito ya akazi inalibe kwenikweni: wantchito, wosoka zovala, wogwira ntchito kufakitale, mphunzitsi, wojambula - ndiye chisankho chonse. M'malo mwake, mkazi sangaganizidwe kuti ndi wodziyimira pawokha ndipo, motero, amafuna ulemu.

Maunansi a m’banja amakono, moyenerera, amamangidwa pa kukhulupirirana, kugaŵana mathayo koyenera, ndi kawonedwe ka dziko kofananako. N'zosadabwitsa kuti mwamuna ndi mkazi nthawi zambiri amatchedwa zibwenzi: anthu amayembekezera ulemu, kumvetsetsa, chithandizo, ulemu kwa wina ndi mzake. Osati gawo lomaliza lomwe limaseweredwa ndi moyo wabwino wachuma, momwe onse awiri amayikidwa. Ndipo ngati mwadzidzidzi moyo wabanja sugwirizana, ili siliri tsoka, anthu aŵiri ochita bwino amatha kudzizindikira okha kunja kwa ukwati.

Nanga n’cifukwa ciani munakwatiwa?

Zinali zosalingalirika mwanjira ina. Makhalidwe achipembedzo anali olamulira anthu, kuchititsa kuti ukwati ukhale wofunika kwambiri. Kuyambira ali aang’ono, ana ankaphunzitsidwa kuti kukhala ndi banja ndi ntchito yaikulu m’moyo. Anthu osungulumwa ankawadzudzula. Makamaka akazi - pambuyo pa zonse, iwo anakhala mtolo kwa achibale.

Munthu amene sanafulumire kukwatiwa anachitiridwa zinthu monyozeka; Koma kwa mtsikana, ukwati nthawi zambiri unali nkhani ya moyo. Mkhalidwe wa mkazi sunangotsimikizira kuti ndi wofunika, komanso unatsimikizira kukhalapo kocheperapo.

Chofunika kwambiri chinali kukhala m’gulu linalake. Ana olemekezeka adalowa m'magwirizano pofuna kutchuka, kubereka, kapena kuwongolera mkhalidwe wawo wachuma. M'mabanja amalonda, chinthu chofunikira nthawi zambiri chinali phindu lazamalonda: mwachitsanzo, mwayi wophatikiza ndalama ndikukulitsa bizinesi.

Alimi anakwatira makamaka chifukwa cha zachuma: mkwatibwi banja anachotsa owonjezera pakamwa, mkazi analandira denga pa mutu wake ndi «chidutswa cha mkate», munthu anapeza ufulu wothandizira. Zoonadi, maukwati achikondi ankapangidwanso panthawiyo. Koma kaŵirikaŵiri, zinangokhala zongopeka chabe zachikondi, zomwe zinapereka m’malo kwa zokonda zenizeni.

Bwanji kukwatiwa tsopano?

Ena amakhulupirira kuti dongosolo la banja ndi ukwati latha ndipo tsopano ndi nthawi yoti lithetsedwe ngati losafunika. Monga mkangano, kuchuluka kwa maanja akutchulidwa omwe amakonda zibwenzi, maukwati a alendo kapena maubwenzi omasuka.

Kuphatikiza apo, chikhalidwe chopanda mwana chikukula (chikhumbo chofuna kusakhala ndi ana), malingaliro olekerera anthu osagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, maukwati a amuna kapena akazi okhaokha komanso mawonekedwe osagwirizana monga, mwachitsanzo, polyamory (maubwenzi omwe, ndi ogwirizana komanso osagwirizana). chilolezo chodzifunira cha abwenzi, aliyense akhoza kukhala ndi zibwenzi ndi anthu angapo).

Ndipo komabe, ambiri amachirikizabe malingaliro amwambo a kukhala ndi mkazi mmodzi pamikhalidwe yabanja. Zoonadi, maukwati osavuta, osagwirizana ndi ongopeka akadali ochitidwa. Komabe, zokonda zamalonda zili kutali ndi chifukwa chachikulu chopezera sitampu mu pasipoti yanu.