Amuna omenyedwa ndi akazi: chifukwa chiyani sitiwakhulupirira

Zinali zovuta kuti ndipeze nkhani zaumwini za lemba ili. Ndinafunsa anzanga ngati amadziŵa za mabanja otere amene mkazi amamenya mwamuna wake. Ndipo pafupifupi nthaŵi zonse ankandiyankha moseka kapena kundifunsa kuti: “Mwinamwake, awa ndi akazi othedwa nzeru amene amamenya amuna awo amene amamwa ndi kugwiritsira ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo?” N’zokayikitsa kuti aliyense angaganize kuti chiwawa n’chololedwa, makamaka chifukwa chakuti chitha kusekedwa.

Nanga izi zimachokera kuti? Mwina sitinaganizepo kuti nkhanza za m’banja zingachitikire mwamuna. Zikumveka zachilendo… Ndipo mafunso amabuka nthawi yomweyo: izi zingatheke bwanji? Kodi ofooka angagonjetse bwanji amphamvu ndipo n’chifukwa chiyani amphamvu amapirira nawo? Izi zikutanthauza kuti ali wamphamvu mwakuthupi, koma wofooka mkati. Amaopa chiyani? Sadzilemekeza yekha?

Nkhani zotere sizimaululika m’manyuzipepala kapena pawailesi yakanema. Amuna sakhala chete pa izi. Kodi ndikufunika kufotokoza kuti sangadandaule kwa ena, sangapite kupolisi. Ndi iko komwe, amadziŵa kuti adzatsutsidwa ndi kunyozedwa. Ndipo mosakayikira, amadzitsutsa okha. Kusafuna kwathu kuganiza za iwo ndi kusafuna kulankhula kumafotokozedwa ndi chidziwitso cha makolo akale chomwe chimatilamulirabe.

Tikumbukire ma flash mob # sindikuopa kunena. Kuulula kwa akazi ozunzidwa kumabweretsa chifundo kuchokera kwa ena ndi ndemanga zokhumudwitsa kuchokera kwa ena. Koma ndiye sitinawerenge pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti zonena za amuna amene anazunzidwa ndi akazi awo.

Zimenezi n’zosadabwitsa, akutero katswiri wa zamaganizo Sergei Enikolopov kuti: “M’chitaganya chathu, mwachiwonekere mwamuna amakhululukidwa kaamba ka nkhanza kwa mkazi kuposa mmene angamvetsetsere mwamuna amene amachitidwa nkhanza zapakhomo.” Malo okhawo omwe munganene mokweza ndi ofesi ya psychotherapist.

Yopumula

Nthawi zambiri, nkhani za mkazi kumenya mwamuna wake zimabwera pamene okwatirana kapena banja abwera ku phwando, anati banja psychotherapist Inna Khamitova. Koma nthawi zina amuna okha amatembenukira kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo za izi. Nthawi zambiri awa ndi anthu olemera, ochita bwino omwe ndizosatheka kukayikira anthu omwe adachitiridwa nkhanza. Kodi iwo eniwo amalongosola motani chifukwa chimene amalolera kuchitiridwa nkhanza chotero?

Ena sadziwa choti achite. Sizingatheke kubwezera: kumatanthauza kusiya kukhala mwamuna, kuchita zinthu zosayenera. Kusudzulana n’koopsa ndipo kumawoneka ngati kufooka. Ndipo njira zina zothetsera mkangano wochititsa manyaziwu, sizikudziwika. “Amadzimva kukhala opanda mphamvu ndi othedwa nzeru chifukwa sawona njira yopulumukira,” akutero katswiri wa zabanja.

Mkazi wopanda mtima

Pali njira yachiwiri, pamene mwamuna amaopadi mnzake. Izi zimachitika m'maukwati omwe mkazi ali ndi makhalidwe a sociopathic: sakudziwa malire a zomwe amaloledwa, sakudziwa kuti chifundo, chifundo, chifundo ndi chiyani.

Inna Khamitova anafotokoza kuti: “Nthawi zambiri, amene amamuvutitsa ndi mwamuna wosadzidalira ndipo amadziimba mlandu chifukwa chomuchitira zimenezi. "M'malingaliro ake, ndiye munthu woyipa, osati iye." Umu ndi mmene anthu amene analakwiridwa m’banja la makolo awo amamvera, amene mwina anachitiridwa nkhanza paubwana wawo. Amayi akayamba kuwanyozetsa, amamva kusweka kotheratu.

Zinthu zimafika povuta kwambiri banjali likakhala ndi ana. Angamve chisoni ndi atate ndi kudana ndi amayiwo. Koma ngati mayi ali wopanda chifundo komanso wankhanza, mwanayo nthawi zina amatsegula njira ya chitetezo cha pathological monga "kudziwikiratu ndi wotsutsa": amathandizira kuzunzidwa kwa bambo-wozunzidwa kuti asakhale wozunzidwa. "Mulimonse momwe zingakhalire, mwanayo amalandira zowawa zamaganizo zomwe zidzakhudza moyo wake wamtsogolo," Inna Khamitova ndi wotsimikiza.

Zinthu zikuwoneka zopanda chiyembekezo. Kodi psychotherapy ingabwezeretse maubale abwino? Zimatengera ngati mkazi m'banjali amatha kusintha, wochiritsira banja amakhulupirira. Mwachitsanzo, sociopathy ndi yosachiritsika, ndipo ndi bwino kusiya ubale woipa wotero.

“Chinthu chinanso ndi pamene mkazi adziteteza ku zovulala zake zomwe amachitira mwamuna wake. Tiyerekeze kuti anali ndi bambo ake omwe ankamuchitira nkhanza. Kuti izi zisadzachitikenso, tsopano akumenya. Osati chifukwa amachikonda, koma pofuna kudziteteza, ngakhale palibe amene amamutsutsa. Ngati azindikira zimenezi, ubwenzi wabwino ukhoza kuyambiranso.

Kusokoneza maudindo

Amuna ambiri amachitiridwa nkhanza. Chifukwa chake makamaka ndi momwe ntchito za amayi ndi abambo zikusintha masiku ano.

"Akazi alowa m'dziko lachimuna ndikuchita mogwirizana ndi malamulo ake: amaphunzira, kugwira ntchito, kufika pamtunda wapamwamba wa ntchito, kuchita nawo mpikisano mofanana ndi amuna," anatero Sergey Enikolopov. Ndipo kukangana komwe kunapezeka kumatulutsidwa kunyumba. Ndipo ngati nkhanza zam'mbuyomu mwa akazi nthawi zambiri zimawonekera mwanjira ina, mwamawu - miseche, "mahairpins", miseche, tsopano nthawi zambiri amatembenukira ku nkhanza zakuthupi ... zomwe iwowo sangathe kupirira nazo.

"Kuyanjana kwa amuna nthawi zonse kumaphatikizapo kutha kulamulira nkhanza zawo," akutero Sergey Enikolopov. - Mu chikhalidwe cha Chirasha, mwachitsanzo, anyamata anali ndi malamulo pa nkhaniyi: "kumenyana ndi magazi oyambirira", "samenyana ndi kugona". Koma palibe amene waphunzitsapo atsikana ndipo sakuwaphunzitsa kulamulira aukali.”

Kumbali ina, akazi tsopano amayembekezera amuna kukhala osamala, omvera, odekha. Koma panthawi imodzimodziyo, malingaliro a amuna ndi akazi sanachoke, ndipo nkovuta kwa ife kuvomereza kuti akazi akhoza kukhala ankhanza, ndipo amuna angakhale achifundo ndi osatetezeka. Ndipo ndife opanda chifundo makamaka kwa amuna.

“Ngakhale kuti nkovuta kuvomereza ndipo anthu samazindikira zimenezo, koma mwamuna womenyedwa ndi mkazi nthaŵi yomweyo amataya mkhalidwe wake monga mwamuna,” akutero katswiri wa zamaganizo ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Serge Efez. "Tikuganiza kuti izi ndi zopusa komanso zopusa, sitikhulupirira kuti izi zitha kukhala. Koma pangafunike kuthandiza amene wachitiridwa nkhanza.”

Zikuoneka kuti tazindikira kale kuti mwamuna nthawi zonse ndi amene amachititsa nkhanza kwa mkazi. Koma zikuoneka kuti pa nkhani ya chiwawa kwa mwamuna, iye mwiniyo ali ndi mlandu? Kodi timalungamitsa chiwawa chifukwa chakuti wankhanzayo ndi mkazi? “Zinanditengera kulimba mtima kwakukulu kuti ndisankhe kusudzulana,” anavomereza motero mmodzi wa awo amene ndinatha kulankhula nawo. Ndiye kodi ndi nkhani yolimba mtimanso? Zikuoneka kuti tafika pachimake ...