Zamkatimu
"Kodi ndimamukonda kwambiri?" », Funso lomwe mosakayikira timadzifunsa tsiku lina pamene tikuyembekezera mwana wathu wachiwiri. Zomveka, tikudziwa kale woyambayo, timakonda kwambiri, tingathe bwanji kupatsa chikondi chochuluka kwa kamwana kakang'ono kameneka komwe sitikukadziwa? Bwanji ngati zinali zachilendo? Sinthani ndi katswiri wathu.
Makolo: Kodi tingakonde ana athu momwemo koma… mosiyana?
Florence Millot: Bwanji osangovomereza lingaliro lakuti simukonda ana anu kwambiri, kapena mwanjira yomweyo? Kupatula apo, awa si anthu ofanana, amangotitumizira china chake chosiyana molingana ndi umunthu wawo, ziyembekezo zathu, ndi nkhani ya kubadwa kwawo. Kudzipeza kuti mulibe ntchito kapena muubwenzi womwe ukulimbana ndi kubadwa kwachiwiri, mwachitsanzo, kungapangitse chiyanjanocho kukhala chovuta kwambiri. Kumbali ina, ngati wamng'ono akuwoneka ngati ife kwambiri, akhoza subconsciously kutitsimikizira, kulimbikitsa mgwirizano.
Kupanga maubwenzi olimba kungatengenso masiku, masabata, miyezi, ngakhale zaka zingapo kwa amayi ena. Ndipo mfundo yoti gulu lathu limayeretsa chithunzi cha mayi wangwiro yemwe amasamalira mwana wake kuyambira kubadwa sizipangitsa kuti zikhale zosavuta kwa ife ...
Kodi ndi nkhani yaikulu kusankha mmodzi wa ana anu?
FM: Ngakhale kuti si makolo onse amene amazindikira kapena kukana kuvomereza, timakonda mwana wathu aliyense pazifukwa zosiyanasiyana komanso pamlingo wosiyanasiyana, kaya timakonda kapena ayi. Mosiyana ndi anzathu, sitisankha ana athu, timatengera iwo, kotero, pamene wina ayankha bwinoko ku ziyembekezo zathu, mwachibadwa tidzasungabe kugwirizana kowonjezereka ndi iye. Chinthu chofunika kwambiri ndi chakuti mwana aliyense amapeza nkhani yake yamaganizo pakati pa abambo ake, amayi ake ndi mamembala ena a m'banjamo, kuyesetsa kuwakonda mofanana ndi zosatheka monga momwe zilili zopanda pake chifukwa, malinga ndi msinkhu wawo kapena khalidwe lawo, ana samatero. khalani ndi zosoŵa zofanana za chikondi ndi chisamaliro ndipo musamazisonyeze m’njira yofanana.
Kodi tizikambirana liti?
FM: Khalidwe lathu likamayambitsa nsanje ya abale - ngakhale ngati, ndithudi, pali ena m'mabanja onse, membala aliyense wa abale akuyenera kudzimva kuti ndi wapadera - ndipo mwanayo amatiuza momwe amamvera kuti sakukondedwa kapena kukhala ndi vuto lopeza malo anu, muyenera kuyankhula za izo. Ngakhale zitatanthauza kukaonana ndi katswiri kuti atiperekeze, kuti atithandize kupeza mawu olondola, chifukwa ikadali nkhani yoletsedwa kwambiri. Ndi mayi ati amene angafune kuvomereza mwana wake kuti ali ndi mbedza zambiri ndi mchimwene wake kapena mlongo wake? Thandizo lakunja limeneli lidzathanso kutitsimikizira pa mfundo yofunika kwambiri: sibwino kuwakonda mofanana, ndipo zimenezi sizingatipangitse kukhala makolo oipa!
Kukambitsirana ndi anthu otizungulira, mabwenzi athu, kudzatithandizanso kupeputsa mkhalidwewo ndi kudzitsimikizira tokha: enanso angakhale atakhuta ana awo kapena kukhala ndi malingaliro osagwirizana, ndipo zimenezo siziwalepheretsa kukonda ana awo. .
Kodi ndingapewe bwanji kukhumudwitsa mwana wanga?
FM: Nthawi zina sitizindikira kuti maganizo athu amapatsa mwanayo kuganiza kuti amakondedwa pang’ono ndi m’bale wake kapena mlongo wake. Ngati abwera kudzadandaula, timayamba ndi kumufunsa kuti ndi zinthu ziti zimene ankaona kuti n’zopanda pake, kuti akonze zinthuzo komanso kumulimbikitsa. Ndiyeno, kuwonjezera pa kupsompsonana ndi kukumbatirana, bwanji osalingalira za zochitika zimene tidzatha kukumana ndi kugawana nthaŵi zapadera?
Sikuti muzichita zinthu mofanana ndi ana anu. M'malo mwake, kugula mphatso zomwezo kapena kukumbatirana panthawi imodzimodziyo kungayambitse mkangano pakati pa abale athu, omwe angayese kuima pamaso pathu. Ndiponso, mkulu wathu wazaka 11 samakhala ndi zosoŵa zamaganizo zofanana ndi za mlongo wake wazaka 2 zakubadwa. Chinthu chachikulu ndi chakuti aliyense amadzimva kuti amakondedwa, ndi ofunika pazosiyana zake: masewera, maphunziro, mikhalidwe yaumunthu, etc.
Umboni wa Anne-Sophie: “Wamkuluyo anali ndi zaka zisanu ndi ziŵiri yekha! “
Louise, wamkulu wanga, ndi msungwana womvera kwambiri, wamanyazi, wochenjera ... Anali wofunitsitsa, wazaka 5-6, kukhala ndi mchimwene wake kapena mlongo wamng'ono ... popanda kufunsa ngati zikuvutitsa, zosasefedwa, zongochitika zokha komanso zotsimikiza kwambiri.
Zokwanira kunena kuti awiriwa sakugwirizana kwenikweni ... Wansanje kwambiri, Louise nthawi zonse "amamukana" kwambiri kapena mocheperapo mlongo wake. Nthawi zambiri timachita nthabwala pomuuza kuti ali ndi mwayi wopanda abale ndi alongo asanu ndi mmodzi… Timayesetsanso kumufotokozera kuti adakhala yekha kwa zaka 7. Ngati iye akanakhala ndi mchimwene wake wamng'ono, izo zikanakhala zosiyana. Sakanayenera kupereka zinthu zambiri kwa mwana wamng'ono: zoseweretsa, zovala, mabuku ... "
Anne Sophie, Zaka 38, amayi ake a Louise, wazaka 12, ndi Pauline wazaka 5 ndi theka
Kodi izi zingasinthe pakapita nthawi?
FM: Palibe chomwe chimakhazikika, maulalo amasinthika kuyambira kubadwa mpaka kukula. Mayi angakonde mmodzi wa ana ake adakali wamng’ono kapena atakhala naye pafupi kwambiri, ndipo iye amasiya kukhala wokondeka pamene akukula. M’kupita kwa nthaŵi, pamene mudziŵana ndi mwana wanu, amene simunam’konde naye kwambiri, mungayambe kusirira mikhalidwe yake imene mukanakonda kukhala nayo—mwachitsanzo, ngati mumangomudziŵa ndipo mwana wanu ali ndi khalidwe lochezeka. -ndipo tiyang'anire pa Iye, chifukwa ali wolingana nafe. Mwachidule, pali pafupifupi nthawi zonse zokonda ndipo nthawi zambiri zimasintha. Nthawi imodzi ndi imodzi, kenako ina. Ndipo kamodzinso.
Mafunso ndi Dorothée Louessard
* Wolemba blog www.pédagogieinnovante.com, ndi mabuku "Pali zilombo pansi pa bedi langa" ndi "Mfundo za Toltec zomwe zimagwiritsidwa ntchito kwa ana", ed. Hatchet.