Ana ayenera “kunyalanyazidwa bwino lomwe,” akutero Allan Guggenbühl, katswiri wa zamaganizo wa ku Switzerland. Amalimbikitsa kuti ana asamasamalidwe mochepa ndi kuwapatsa ufulu wambiri. Ndizovuta kwambiri kwa makolo ambiri kusankha pa izi, chifukwa anthu akuthamangira kulikonse. Kuopa kukhala woipa, kusasamala, kusasamala ndi kwakukulu kwambiri, ndipo sikudziwika bwino momwe angachotsere.
The Swiss psychotherapist, mosiyana ndi olemba ena ambiri, amadziwa kuchokera ku machitidwe ake achire mantha a abambo ndi amayi ambiri. Zikuwoneka kwa iwo kuti sakulera bwino mwana wawo komanso mosamalitsa kuti azikhala mwakachetechete mu "gulu lathu la neoliberal".
Allan Guggenbühl mu The Best for My Mwana. Momwe timachotsera ana athu ubwana” akupempha amayi ndi abambo kusonyeza kulimba mtima ndikulimbikitsa mwamphamvu ufulu wa ana ku ubwana wosewera ndi unyamata wodzidzimutsa, wachisokonezo momwe amaloledwa kudziyesa okha ndikulakwitsa.
Iye amaumirira kumasuka kulamulira ndi kuuza akuluakulu: zochepa sukulu, zochepa zopinga, zambiri ufulu malo, mokoma mtima kunyalanyaza makolo, ndi zambiri wopanda cholinga «kuyendayenda» mwana. Ndi iko komwe, makolo, mosasamala kanthu za chisoni chotani nanga kuŵerenga ichi, samadziŵa bwino lomwe kuposa mwana wawo chosankha choyenera cha moyo wake wamtsogolo.
"Achinyamata sakufunanso kuti tsogolo lawo lipangidwe ndi kumangidwa ndi akuluakulu, amafuna kudzipangira okha," analemba motero wolembayo.
Ana alibe ufulu
Nanga ana amene tsopano ali ndi zonse zikhala bwanji? Kodi adzakhala odzikonda okha kapena achikulire opanda thandizo? Choyamba, munthu ayenera kuopa kulephera kwawo, psychotherapist amatsimikiza.
“Mukuwachitira zinthu zopanda pake ana mukachotsa zopinga zilizonse panjira yawo ndikupeza zosowa zawo zonse. Amayamba kuganiza kuti chilengedwe chiyenera kukwaniritsa zofuna zawo, ndipo ngati sichitero. Koma moyo ukhoza kukhala wovuta komanso wotsutsana.”
Koma si kumbuyo kwa zochitika za «makolo a helikopita» (mawuwa adabadwa ngati chifaniziro cha amayi ndi abambo akuzungulira mwana kosatha) kuyesa kuteteza mwanayo kudziko lopanda chilungamoli? N’zoonekeratu kuti makolo amafunira mwana wawo zabwino.
Chiwerengero cha ana m’mabanja chachepa, ndipo zaka za makolo zawonjezeka. Makolo okalamba amaopa kwambiri ana awo - izi ndi zoona. Mwana wosakwatiwa amakhala pachiwopsezo chokhala ndi projekiti yodzaza ndi malingaliro. Komanso, makolo oterowo amakhala ndi nthawi yochuluka yocheza ndi mwanayo, ndipo nthawi zambiri izi zimapita kumbali yake.
Ana anasiya kusewera momasuka mumsewu. Mafoni awo am'manja ndi okwanira kulumikizana ndi anzawo. Njira yopita kusukulu tsopano ikuchitika ndi ntchito za "mayi-taxi". Swings ndi slide pabwalo lamasewera amadzazidwa ndi ana omwe nthawi zonse amakhala pansi paulamuliro wa makolo kapena nanny.
Kupuma kwa mwana - kuyambira kusukulu mpaka kusukulu - kumakonzedwa mokhazikika, zoyeserera zilizonse zachinyamata kapena zachinyamata nthawi yomweyo zimakhala zosavomerezeka ndipo zimatanthauzidwa ngati matenda komanso ngakhale kusokonezeka kwamalingaliro.
Koma ndiye funso limabuka: Kodi mwana amafunikira ufulu wochuluka bwanji komanso chisamaliro chochuluka bwanji? Kodi tanthauzo la golide lili kuti? Allan Guggenbühl anati: “Ana amafuna olera amene angawadalire. - Komabe, safuna akuluakulu omwe amawakakamiza kuti azitsatira mapulogalamu osiyanasiyana. Aloleni ana asankhe zofuna zawo.
Gwirani ntchito, osati kungophunzira
Kodi ana amafunika chiyani kuti akhale osangalala? Malinga ndi Allan Guggenbühl, amafunikira chikondi. Chikondi chochuluka ndi kuvomerezedwa kochokera kwa makolo. Koma amafunikiranso alendo amene angalankhule nawo ndi kuwaloŵetsa m’dziko mwapang’onopang’ono. Ndipo pano sukulu imagwira ntchito yofunika kwambiri. Komabe, ngakhale pano katswiri wa zamaganizo ali ndi zotsalira.
Muyenera kuphunzira, koma kupuma pantchito zina zothandiza. Kugwiritsa ntchito ana? Ili likanakhala yankho! kufotokoza kwa Zurich psychotherapist. “Kuyambira ndili ndi zaka zisanu ndi zinayi, mumasindikiza nyuzipepala kamodzi pamlungu m’malo mopita kusukulu. Ndipo zinapita kwa miyezi ingapo.” Izi zidzakulitsa mwayi wa mwanayo.
Mungagwiritse ntchito ntchito yosungiramo katundu, kugwira ntchito m'munda kapena m'mafakitale ang'onoang'ono amalonda - mwachitsanzo, ntchito yanthawi yochepa m'sitolo pamene mukuyika katundu pazitsulo, kuthandizira potuluka, ntchito zoyeretsa ndi kufunsira kwa makasitomala. Malo odyera amapereka mwayi wambiri wopeza ndalama.
Malipiro, malinga ndi mlembi wa bukhuli, sayenera kufanana ndi msinkhu wa akuluakulu, koma kuchokera pamalingaliro a mwanayo, ayenera kukhala ofunika. Guggenbühl akukhulupirira kuti izi zidzapatsa ana chidziwitso cha udindo weniweni komanso wogwira ntchito m'dziko lachikulire.
Komabe, vuto la bukhu la Guggenbuhl, komanso mabuku ambiri olerera ana, ndikuti mfundo zake zimangogwira ntchito pagulu la anthu, otsutsa akutero. Poyang’ana mashelefu m’malo ogulitsa mabuku, wina angaganize kuti kulamulira ndi chilimbikitso cha makolo a ku Ulaya kuli vuto lalikulu la anthu.
Kunena zoona, sizili choncho. Nkhani yofunikira kwambiri ndi yakuti, mwachitsanzo, ku Germany, 21% ya ana onse amakhala muumphawi wamuyaya. Ku Bremen ndi Berlin mwana wachitatu aliyense ndi wosauka, ngakhale ku Hamburg wolemera mwana wachisanu aliyense amakhala pansi pa umphaŵi. Ndipo ziwerengero zoterezi zidzawoneka bwanji ngati muyang'ana ku Russia?
Ana omwe akukhala pansi pa umphawi amakhala ndi nkhawa nthawi zonse, amakhala movutikira, makolo awo alibe ndalama zogulira zakudya zabwino, maphunziro, zosangalatsa komanso tchuthi. Iwo ndithudi sawopsezedwa ndi kuonongeka ndi kuchita zofuna zawo. Zingakhale zabwino ngati alangizi pakati pa akatswiri a maganizo a ana ndi achinyamata athera nthawi yawo ndi chidwi pa mbali iyi ya ubwana.