Zamkatimu
Mélanie si apongozi okhawo amene analephera pamene akukumana ndi vuto la banja losakanikirana ...
Kusankha mwamuna si kusankha ana ake!
Ziwerengero zikukula: opitilira magawo awiri mwa atatu a okwatirananso amatha kupatukana pomwe okwatiranawo ali kale ndi ana! Chifukwa: mikangano pakati pa makolo opeza ndi ana opeza. Aliyense amayamba ulendowu ndi chifuno chabwino, chikondi, chiyembekezo, koma kupambana komwe kumayembekezeredwa sikofunikira. Kodi nchifukwa ninji fiascos achuluka chotere? Chifukwa cha chinyengo chochuluka chomwe chimalepheretsa otchulidwawo kukhala ndi masomphenya enieni a zomwe zimawayembekezera pamene achita chitsanzo cha banjali. Chimodzi mwa nyambo zoyamba, zowopsa, ndicho chikhulupiriro chodziwika bwino chakuti chikondi, ndi mphamvu yake yokha, chimagonjetsa zovuta zonse, chimagonjetsa zopinga zonse. Sichifukwa chakuti timakonda kwambiri mwamuna kuti tizikonda ana athu! M'malo mwake ngakhale. Kuzindikira kuti muyenera kugawana ndi mwamuna amene mumamukonda sikophweka, makamaka pamene ana ake akutanthauza kuti simukulandiridwa. Ndiponso sikuli kophweka kukonda mwana wochokera m’chikwati cham’mbuyo amene amasonyezeratu kuti panali mkazi wina m’mbuyomo, ubwenzi wina umene unali wofunika kwa bwenzi lake. Ngakhale kwa iwo omwe ali ndi zolinga zabwino kwambiri padziko lapansi ndipo ali okonzeka kudabwa kuti nsanje iyi imachita chiyani pa mbiri yawo yaumwini, ndi chifukwa chiyani amawopsezedwa ndi bwenzi lakale lomwe sililinso mdani m'chikondi. Anthu a m’dera lathu amaona kuti mkazi amakonda ana ake, ake komanso a ena. Kodi si kwachibadwa kusakhala “umayi” ndi mwana amene si wako?
Kwa Pauline, apongozi ake a Chloe wa zaka 4, vuto ndilofunika kwambiri, sayamikira mpongozi wake nkomwe: “Ndizovuta kuvomereza, koma sindimakonda kamsungwana kameneka. ndiribe chomutsutsa, koma sindikusangalala kumusamalira, ndimamupeza wokwiya, wokwiyitsa, wodekha, wolira ndipo ndikuyembekezera kutha kwa sabata. Ndimachita ngati ndimamukonda chifukwa ndikudziwa kuti ndi zomwe bambo ake amayembekezera kwa ine. Amafuna kuti zonse zikhala bwino mwana wake akakhala ndi ife, makamaka osasemphana maganizo. Kotero ine ndimasewera gawo, koma popanda kukhudzika kwenikweni. ”
Palibe chifukwa chodziimba mlandu, mwasankha kumukonda mwamunayu koma osasankha ana ake. Simumadzikakamiza kuti muzikonda, zilipo, ndizabwino, koma sikumapeto kwa dziko, ngati kulibe. Sitimakondanso ana athu opeza kuyambira nthawi yoyamba, timawayamikira pakapita nthawi, zingatenge miyezi kapena zaka. Palibe chifukwa chodzikakamiza chifukwa mwanayo adzazindikira ngati mayiyo ali ndi maganizo olakwika. Kuzindikira umayi ndi mwana wa wina sikophweka. Choyenera ndikudzifunsa ndikuyika maziko musanakumane nawo, kudziyerekeza nokha mu kasinthidwe, kuyankhula za mantha anu, mantha anu, fotokozani maudindo a aliyense : ukupita ndi ana anga kuti? Kodi mukufuna kutani? Ndipo inu, mukuyembekezera chiyani kwa ine? Timapewa mikangano yambiri yamtsogolo mwa kuika malire enieni pazomwe timavomereza kuchita ndi zomwe sitikufuna kuchita: "Sindikuwadziwa, koma ndili ndi ufulu wochita izi. , koma si zimenezo. Ndili bwino ndikamagula zinthu, kukonza chakudya, kuchapa zovala zake, koma ndibwino kuti mumusamalire kuti amusambitse, kumuwerengera nkhani zamadzulo kuti mugone, kuposa momwe mumachitira. kuwatengera kukasewera ku paki. Pakalipano, sindine womasuka ndi kupsompsona, kukumbatirana, sikukana, zikhoza kusintha pakapita miyezi, koma muyenera kumvetsa. “
Banja losakanikirana: zimatenga nthawi kuti ziwongolere
Ngati zimatenga nthawi kuti mayi wopeza aphunzitse ana ake opeza, nkhaniyo imakhala yoona. Mathilde adakumana ndi izi ndi Maxence ndi Dorothée, osewera ang'onoang'ono azaka 5 ndi 7. Ndipotu ankanditenga ngati wolowerera, sankandimvera. Maxence anakana kudya zomwe ndinamukonzera ndipo nthawi zonse ankayankhula za amayi ake ndi kuphika kwawo kodabwitsa. Mathilde nthawi zonse ankabwera kudzakhala pakati pa bambo ake ndi ine, ndipo ankangokhalira kundigwira dzanja kapena kundipsompsona! »Ngakhale zitakhala zovuta kupirira, ziyenera kumveka kukwiya kwa mwana kuwona mkazi watsopano kutera m'moyo wake ndikwachilengedwe, chifukwa akuchitapo kanthu ku mkhalidwe umene ukumupanikiza osati kwa inu monga munthu. Christophe Fauré akulangiza kuti munthu asamavutike kwambiri ndi munthu kuti akonze zinthu kuti: “Ndi malo apadera amene muli, udindo wanu monga mayi wopeza, mosasamala kanthu kuti ndinu ndani, ndi umene umayambitsa chidani cha mwanayo. Mnzanu aliyense watsopano angakumane ndi zovuta za ubale zomwe mukukumana nazo lero. Kumvetsetsa kumathandizira kusokoneza ziwonetsero zomwe zikukuvutitsani. Ukali umagwirizanitsidwanso ndi chochitika cha kusadzisungika, mwana amawopa kutaya chikondi cha kholo lake, akuganiza kuti angamukonde mochepa. Ichi ndichifukwa chake kuli kofunika kumutsimikizira ndi kum’limbitsa mtima mwa kumtsimikiziranso za kufunika kwake, mwa kumuuza m’mawu osavuta kuti chikondi cha makolo chimakhalapo kosatha, zivute zitani, ngakhale amayi ake ndi atate ake atapatukana, ngakhale kuti analekana. akukhala ndi bwenzi latsopano. Muyenera kulola nthawi, osati kukankhira ana opeza ndipo amatha kusintha. Ngati awona kuti apongozi awo / abambo ndi chinthu chokhazikika kwa abambo / amayi awo ndi iwo eni, ngati alipo, ngati akulimbana ndi zovuta zonse, ngati abweretsa chisangalalo, chisangalalo cha moyo, chitetezo. m'nyumba, malingaliro awo adzakhala abwino.
Pankhani ya chidani chodziwika bwino, apongozi angasankhe kupereka chilango kwa bambo musadzikakamize mwaulamuliro. Izi n’zimene Noémie, apongozi ake a Théo, wazaka 4, anachita: “Ndinadziika pa malo osangalatsa, ndinam’tengera pa maswiti, pa malo osungira nyama, kuti pang’onopang’ono apeze chidaliro chake. Pang'ono ndi pang'ono, ndinatha kukakamiza ulamuliro wanga bwino. “
Candice, adasankha kuyika ndalama paubwenzi ndi mwana wake wopeza Zoe, wazaka 6: "Monga ndidawona kuti mafunde akuyenda moyipa pakati pa Zoe ndi ine, komanso kuti sindinadziwone ndekha" gendarmette yemwe amakuwa nthawi zonse. ", Ndinalola bambo ake kuti aziyendetsa momwe ndingathere kumapeto kwa sabata. Ndinapeza mwayi wowona anzanga, kupita kukagula zinthu, kupita ku nyumba yosungiramo zinthu zakale, kwa okonza tsitsi, kudzisamalira ndekha. Ndinali wokondwa, Zoe ndi chibwenzi changanso, chifukwa ankafunika kuonana ndi mwana wake wamkazi maso ndi maso, popanda zonyansa! Kulera limodzi ndi chisankho ndipo kholo lopeza silingakakamizidwe kudziyika yekha ngati wonyamula lamulo ngati sakufuna. Ziri kwa banja lililonse losakanikirana kuti lipeze modus vivendi zomwe zimagwirizana nawo, pokhapokha ngati asalole ana opeza kupanga lamulo, chifukwa sibwino kwa iwo kapena kwa makolo.
Pamene ana okongola akakana ulamuliro wa apongozi awo, kuli kofunika kuti atate awo atsatire lamulo la kuvomereza ndi kukhala ogwirizana ndi wobwera kumene m’banjalo: “Mayi uyu ndiye wokondedwa wanga watsopano; Popeza ndi wamkulu, kuti ndi mnzanga komanso kuti adzakhala nafe, ali ndi ufulu kukuuzani zoyenera kuchita m’nyumba muno. Simukuvomereza, koma ndi momwe zilili. Ndimakukondani, koma ndimagwirizana naye nthawi zonse chifukwa tidakambirana limodzi. “Ndikukumana ndi ziwopsezo zamtundu wamtunduwu:” Sinu amayi anga! », Konzani mizere yanu – Ayi, sindine mayi anu, koma ndine wamkulu m’nyumba muno. Pali malamulo, ndipo amagwiranso ntchito kwa inu! - Kufotokozera kumafunikanso pamene mukukumana ndi mwana yemwe nthawi zonse amatchula amayi ake pamene akukhala kumapeto kwa sabata ndi abambo ake: "Mukamalankhula za amayi anu nthawi zonse, zimandipweteka. Ndimamulemekeza, ayenera kukhala mayi wamkulu, koma mukakhala kunyumba, zingakhale bwino kuti musakambirane. “
Vuto lalikulu kapena locheperako poika ulamuliro mwa zina limagwirizanitsidwa ndi msinkhu wa ana omwe apongozi ayenera kuwasamalira. Choyamba, zimakhala zosavuta ndi ana ang'onoang'ono chifukwa adakumana ndi kusudzulana ngati vuto lachiwawa ndipo ali nawo kufunikira kwakukulu kwa chitetezo chamalingaliro. Mnzawo watsopano, nyumba yatsopano, nyumba yatsopano, amawalola kukhala ndi ma bere, kudziwa komwe ali padziko lapansi. Monga momwe Christophe André akulongosolera: “Ana osapitirira zaka 10 kaŵirikaŵiri samakana ulamuliro wa kholo lopeza. Amasintha mofulumira, amakhala okonzeka bwino, malamulo amaikidwa mosavuta kwa iwo. Makamaka ngati mayi wopeza wamng'ono atenga vuto funsani atate za miyambo yaying'ono ndi zizolowezi za mwana kuti alimbikitse malingaliro ake opeza chitetezo.. »Amagona ndi blankie yake motere, amakonda kuuzidwa nkhani yotere asanagone, amakonda tomato wa Cantonese ndi mpunga, chakudya cham'mawa amadya tchizi, mtundu wake womwe amakonda kwambiri ndi wofiira, ndi zina zotero.
Kukambirana ndi abambo ndikofunikira
Chidziwitso chonsechi chimapangitsa kuti pakhale zotheka kupanga mwamsanga kuphatikizika komwe kumaperekedwa, ndithudi, kuti mawu a amayi samasokoneza chirichonse. Izi ndi zomwe Laurène, apongozi ake a Lucien, 5, adamvetsetsa:
Ngati kulankhulana pang'ono kuli kotheka pakati pa mayi ndi wokondedwa watsopano, ngati atha kukambirana za ubwino wa mwanayo, ndi bwino kwa aliyense. Koma izi sizingatheke nthawi zonse. Tingamvetse mosavuta kuti mayi ali ndi nsanje, wofunitsitsa kupereka ana ake kwa mlendo kotheratu, koma chidani chake chingakhale ngozi yeniyeni kwa okwatiranawo ndi banja losanganikirana. Camille ananena momvetsa chisoni kuti: “Nditakumana ndi Vincent, sindinkaganiza kuti mkazi wake wakale angakhale ndi chiyambukiro chotere pa moyo wanga watsiku ndi tsiku. Amapereka malangizo, amandidzudzula, amasintha Loweruka ndi Lamlungu monga momwe amafunira ndikuyesa kusokoneza ubale wathu posokoneza mwana wake wamkazi wazaka 4. Kuthetsa mkhalidwe wotero, kukambitsirana ndi atate nkofunikira. Zili kwa iye akhazikitse malire ndikusinthanso bwenzi lake lakale nthawi zonse akasokoneza banja lake latsopanolo. Kuti akhale ndi mtendere wamumtima, Christophe Fauré akulangiza apongozi kuti azilemekeza mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo wakale, osalowerera ndale, osam’dzudzula pamaso pa ana opeza, osaika mwanayo m’mikhalidwe yoti asankhe pakati pa apongozi ake ndi kholo lake (nthawi zonse adzatenga mbali ya kholo lake, ngakhale alakwa ) ndi kukhala ndi makhalidwe abwino. osati monga mdani kapena wolowa mmalo. Ananenanso kuti apewe zisonyezero za chikondi pamaso pa anawo kuti asawaimitse. Pele, bataata bakali kusyoma bamaama, ncintu cibakkomanisya alimwi tabakonzyi kuba acilongwe cini-cini aacikozyanyo cabo. Ngati mutsatira malangizo abwinowa, kumanga banja losakanikirana bwino ndikotheka. Ngakhale mukukumana ndi zovuta, palibe chomwe chimayikidwa pamwala pankhani ya ubale ndi ana opeza. M'kupita kwa nthawi, zonse zimatha kusintha, kusungunula ndikukhala zosangalatsa kwambiri. Simudzakhala "amayi opeza oyipa" kapena mayi wopeza wabwino kwambiri, koma mudzapeza malo anu!
Kodi mukufuna kukambirana za izo pakati pa makolo? Kuti mupereke maganizo anu, kubweretsa umboni wanu? Timakumana pa https://forum.parents.fr.