Zamkatimu
Mnzanga anakhala yekha kwa zaka zingapo ndithu, mpaka tinakambirana naye zamtima ndi mtima ndipo tinapeza chinsinsi cha chikhalidwe chapadera chachikazi ... Kuyambira pamenepo, moyo wake wapangidwa ndi madeti, mabuku ndi zochitika zachikondi. Ino ncinzi ncomukonzya kucita kutegwa muzumanane kusyomeka?
Mwinamwake mwakumanapo ndi akazi omwe sangathe kukhala opanda chibwenzi kwa mwezi umodzi - zikuwoneka kuti akusakidwa. Ndipo ziyenera kudziwidwa kuti awa si nthawi zonse okongola achichepere. Ali ndi chiyani chomwe ena alibe?
Amayi opambana, amphamvu, okondweretsa nthawi zambiri amasiyidwa okha ndipo sangamvetse chifukwa chake izi zikuchitika. Mosiyana ndi izi mokakamizidwa kudzipatula, zikhulupiriro monga «palibe amuna enieni otsala», «amuna sakonda akazi amphamvu - amafunikira opanda thandizo ndi omvera», «mkazi ayenera kusankha: kaya ntchito kapena banja» zikuyenda bwino. .
Zikuwoneka kwa ine kuti nkhaniyi siili yokha komanso osati mwa amuna: yankho la mwambi liri m'munda wa chemistry.
Valence mu maubwenzi
Kumbukirani mawu akuti "valency" kuchokera ku maphunziro a sukulu mu chemistry: uku ndiko kuthekera kwa chinthu kupanga zomangira. Kuyang'ana kwa abwenzi ndi mabwenzi okha kunanditsogolera ku lingaliro lakuti panjira yopita ku chipambano, akazi nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi ufulu wodziimira okha, kudzidalira okha.
"Ndipanga moyo wanga wopambana, wosangalatsa komanso wosangalatsa!" - udindo woterewu ukhoza kuyambitsa ulemu: izi ndizovuta zomwe zimapereka cholinga cha chitukuko. Mu psychology, izi zimawonedwa ngati chinthu chofunikira kwambiri paumoyo wamaganizidwe ndipo chimatchedwa malingaliro a wolemba. Tsoka ilo, ili ndi cholakwika chaching'ono.
Ngakhale mutakhala wosewera wamkulu kwambiri wa volleyball, simungathe kusewera nokha! Pali zochitika zambiri zosangalatsa ndi masewera omwe amafunikira mnzanu kapena gulu - ndipo izi sizikugwirizana konse ndi mphamvu kapena kufooka kwa munthu.
Pezani malo amuna
Ine ndi mabwenzi anga tinafunsa amunawo, tikumawasonyeza amene timawadziŵa kuti: “Bwanji osangofikira mkazi waufulu, wokongola ndi wokondweretsa ameneyu? Yankho linali lofanana nthaŵi zonse: “Sindikuona kuti angandifune kanthu kena.”
Amuna kwenikweni amasilira akazi amphamvu ndi opambana. Ingolankhulani nawo, funsani mafunso. Koma kuti afikire mkazi, kuti alowe m'moyo wake, mwamuna ayenera kuona kuti pali malo ake, mwayi wochitira chinachake kwa iye.
Mwina mumapanga ndalama zabwino, mumadziwa kusintha mawilo agalimoto, mwatenthetsa mapepala amagetsi kuti bedi likhale lotentha nthawi zonse ... Valence sikusowa thandizo kapena kusowa. Valence ndi dziko pamene, popanda kunyoza kupambana kwanu ndi zomwe mwakwanitsa, mumamva kuti pali china chake m'moyo chomwe mwamuna amafunikira. Ndiye ndi pokhapo mukhoza kusonyeza ena pa mlingo umagwirira.
Uku ndiko kumasulira kwachilengedwe: "Ndikufuna zambiri kuchokera ku moyo", "Ndili ndi chidwi", "Ndine womasuka ku zochitika zatsopano".
Kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi "Kulankhulana ndi bwenzi"
Khalidwe lophunzitsidwa bwino la kudzidalira likhoza kusewera motsutsana ndi mwini wake. Mwachitsanzo, mkazi amalota za ubale, koma akakumana ndi mwamuna kwa nthawi yoyamba, amachita zinthu zomwe zimafuna kugwa pansi: amaseka, amafunsa mafunso ovuta, amayesa mphamvu: "ngati akhoza kundikaniza, ndiye kuti amandikonda.”
Njira yolankhulirana iyi kapena yofananira iyi, koma yopweteketsa mtima kwambiri, ikhoza kuyambitsidwa yokha, popanda kudziwa pang'ono kapena kusadziwa za mkaziyo. Ndipo n’zosadabwitsa kuti mwamunayo amakana mwamsanga kukhala naye pachibwenzi.
Momwe mungamangirenso njira yolumikizirana mwachizolowezi? Mukapita pachibwenzi, yerekezerani kuti mukupita kukakumana ndi mnzanu. Ndipo lankhulani ndi munthu amene mungamusankhe momwe mungalankhulire ndi mnzanu: kumuthandiza, kuchita nthabwala komanso moona mtima. Kugonana sichinsinsi! - imayamba ndi kulumikizana. Ndipo, pang'onopang'ono kusuntha mbali iyi, sangalalani ndi gawo laubwenzi lakulankhulana.
Iyi ndi njira yopambana yomwe imakupatsani mwayi wokhala ndi nthawi yabwino, kudziwana ndi mnzanu - ndipo sizimakukakamizani kupanga zisankho mwachangu.
Kodi mwaona kuti anthu omwe pamapeto pake amayamba kukondana? Amawala ndi kufewa kwambiri, kukhutira ndi chisangalalo. Valence ndikuitanani kuti muyatse kuwala kwa chikondi mwa inu, ndikokonzeka komanso kukulitsa luso lokondana. Zachidziwikire, iyi ndi ntchito yowopsa, koma tiyeni tivomereze kuti chiwopsezochi ndichofunika - maubale ndi ubale womwe mukufuna kuusunga.