Kukula, timakhala olumikizidwa ndi zomangira zosawoneka ndi munthu wapamtima - mayi. Wina amatenga chikondi chake ndi kutentha ndi iwo paulendo wodziyimira pawokha, ndipo wina amatenga mkwiyo wosaneneka ndi zowawa zomwe zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kukhulupirira anthu ndikumanga nawo maubwenzi apamtima. Kodi tidzamva bwino tikawauza mayi athu mmene tikumvera? Psychotherapist Veronika Stepanova akuganiza za izi.
Olga anati: “Amayi ankandivuta nthawi zonse, ndipo ankawadzudzula pa cholakwa chilichonse. - Ngati anayi adalowa mu diary, adanena kuti ndikatsuka zimbudzi pa siteshoni. Nthawi zonse ankandiyerekezera ndi ana ena, ndipo ankandiuza kuti ndikhoza kukhala ndi mtima wabwino pokhapokha ngati nditapeza zotsatira zabwino. Koma mu nkhani iyi, iye sanatengere chidwi. Sindikukumbukira kuti iye anayamba kundikumbatira, kundipsompsona, kuyesera mwanjira ina yake kundisangalatsa. Amandipangitsabe kudziimba mlandu: Ndimakhala ndi malingaliro akuti sindimamusamalira bwino. Ubale ndi iye unasanduka msampha muubwana, ndipo izi zinandiphunzitsa kuchitira moyo ngati chiyeso chovuta, kuopa mphindi zosangalatsa, kupewa anthu omwe ndimasangalala nawo. Mwina kukambirana naye kungathandize kuchotsa kulemedwa kwa moyo?
Katswiri wa zamaganizo Veronika Stepanova amakhulupirira kuti ndife tokha tingasankhe kulankhula ndi amayi athu zakukhosi kwathu. Panthawi imodzimodziyo, muyenera kukumbukira: mutatha kukambirana koteroko, ubale wovuta kale ukhoza kuwonjezereka. “Tikufuna kuti amayi avomereze kuti analakwitsa m’njira zambiri ndipo anakhala mayi woipa. Zingakhale zovuta kuvomereza izi. Ngati vuto la kusalankhula likukupwetekani, konzani zokambirana pasadakhale kapena kambiranani ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo. Yesani njira yachitatu yampando, yomwe imagwiritsidwa ntchito mu mankhwala a Gestalt: munthu akuganiza kuti amayi ake akukhala pampando, ndiye amasunthira kumpando umenewo ndipo, pang'onopang'ono kumuzindikiritsa, amalankhula yekha m'malo mwake. Izi zimathandiza kumvetsetsa bwino mbali inayo, malingaliro ake osaneneka ndi zochitika, kukhululukira chinachake ndikusiya zodandaula zachibwana.
Tiyeni tipende zinthu ziwiri zoipa zomwe zimachitika pakati pa makolo ndi ana komanso momwe tingakhalire akadzakula, ngati kuli koyenera kuyambitsa kukambirana za m'mbuyomu komanso njira zomwe mungatsatire.
"Amayi samandimva"
Olesya anati: “Ndili ndi zaka XNUMX, mayi anga anandisiya ndi agogo anga n’kupita kukagwira ntchito mumzinda wina. - Iye anakwatiwa, ndinali ndi theka mchimwene, koma ife ankakhala kutali wina ndi mzake. Ndinkaona ngati palibe amene amandisowa, ndinkalota kuti amayi anga anditengere koma ndinasamukira kukakhala nawo ndikaweruka kusukulu, kupita ku koleji. Izi sizikanatha kubweza zaka zaubwana zomwe zidakhala zotalikirana. Ndimachita mantha kuti aliyense amene timacheza naye angandisiye, ngati mmene mayi anachitira poyamba. Ndinayesetsa kukambirana naye za nkhaniyi, koma amalira n’kumandiimba mlandu wodzikonda. Iye akuti anakakamizika kuchoka kumene kuli ntchito, chifukwa cha tsogolo langa.
“Ngati mayi akulephera kuchititsa makambitsirano, palibe chifukwa chopitirizira kukambitsirana nkhani zimene zimakudetsani nkhaŵa,” akutero katswiri wa zamaganizo. “Simudzamvekabe, ndipo maganizo oti akukanidwa adzangokulirakulirabe.” Izi sizikutanthauza kuti mavuto a ana ayenera kukhala osathetsedwa - ndikofunika kuwathetsa ndi katswiri. Koma sikutheka kukonzanso munthu wokalamba yemwe akukhala wotseka kwambiri.
“Amayi amandinyoza pamaso pa achibale”
“Bambo anga, amene salinso ndi moyo, anandichitira nkhanza ine ndi mchimwene wanga, ankatha kutiukira,” akukumbukira motero Arina. — Mayiyo anali chete poyamba, ndiyeno anatenga mbali yake, akukhulupirira kuti iye anali kulondola. Tsiku lina nditayesetsa kuteteza mng’ono wanga kwa bambo anga, anandimenya mbama. Monga chilango, sanathe kundilankhula kwa miyezi ingapo. Tsopano ubale wathu udakali wozizira. Amauza achibale onse kuti ndine mwana wamkazi wosayamika. Ndikufuna kulankhula naye za chilichonse chimene ndinakumana nacho ndili mwana. Ndimakumbukira nkhanza zimene makolo anga anachita.”
“Mayi wachisoni ndi amene amakhala yekha pamene ana akuluakulu ayenera kunena zonse pamaso pake, mosalabadira,” akutero katswiri wa zamaganizo. - Ngati, akukula, mwanayo amakhululukira mayiyo ndipo, mosasamala kanthu za zochitikazo, amamuchitira bwino, kudzimva wolakwa kumatuluka mwa iye. Kumverera uku sikusangalatsa, ndipo njira yodzitetezera imakankhira kunyoza ana ndikuwapangitsa kukhala olakwa. Amayamba kuuza aliyense za kusowa mtima kwawo komanso kuipa kwawo, kudandaula ndikudziwonetsa ngati wozunzidwa. Ngati muwakomera mtima mayi woteroyo, adzakuchitirani moipa chifukwa chodziimba mlandu. Ndipo mosemphanitsa: kukhwima kwanu ndi kulunjika kwanu kudzalongosola malire a zomwe zili zololedwa kwa iye. Kulankhulana mwachikondi ndi mayi yemwe anachita zinthu mwachisoni, mosakayikira, sikungagwire ntchito. Muyenera kulankhula zakukhosi kwanu mwachindunji osati kuyembekezera kupanga mabwenzi.