Zamkatimu
Kodi mungapulumuke bwanji banja likatha? Kodi n’zotheka kukhalabe mabwenzi? Katswiri wa zamaganizo Jill Weber akufotokoza chifukwa chake muyenera kuthetsa chibwenzi ndi munthu wakale.
Kuthetsa chibwenzi sikophweka. Wovulalayo akuganiza kuti, "Izi sizingachitike!"
Kusaka njira zokonzera zonse, kutsitsimutsa kapena "kukonza" ubalewo kumayamba. Ambiri akuyang'ana misonkhano ndi mnzawo, kuyesera kukambirana za mwayi wokumananso, kukopa malingaliro akale ndi kutumiza pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti. Timasewera kwa nthawi, tipeze ubale, koma zimangokulirakulira. Njira yosavuta yothanirana ndi zowawa ndikuchepetsa kulumikizana ndi mnzake wakale kukhala pachabe.
Malangizo amenewa ndi ovuta kuwatsatira. Timapanga zochitika zatsopano zamisonkhano - mwachitsanzo, timapereka kubweza zinthu zomwe zayiwalika, timayimba foni ndikufunsa za thanzi la achibale akale, ndipo timapereka zikomo patchuthi. Chifukwa chake timapanga chinyengo cha moyo wakale, koma sitikhala ndi moyo.
Chifukwa chokha chabwino chopitirizira kulankhulana ndi ana wamba. Pakachitika chisudzulo, timapitiriza kugawana chisamaliro cha kuleredwa kwawo. Tiyenera kukumana ndikulankhula pafoni. Koma ngakhale pamenepa, muyenera kuyesetsa kuti kulankhulana kukhale kochepa komanso kulankhula za ana okha.
Nazi zifukwa zinayi zoletsera kulankhulana.
1. Kulumikizana ndi ex wanu sikungachiritse.
Kutha kwa ubale kumakhala kowawa, koma ululu sungakhalepo mpaka kalekale. Mudzakhala achisoni, okwiya, okhumudwa kuti moyo ndi wosalungama. Maganizo amenewa ndi achibadwa ndipo ndi gawo la kuchira, koma pang'onopang'ono mudzavomereza zomwe zachitika.
Popitiriza kulankhulana ndi wanu wakale, mumasokoneza njira yochira, mukukonda njira yowononga yotsutsa zoonekeratu. Kuti mutsegule moyo watsopano ndikukonzekera molimba mtima zamtsogolo, ndikofunikira kuvomereza kwathunthu kuti ubale watha. Mwa kuvomereza kuti munatha, mudzakhala ndi mpumulo, ndipo moyo wanu udzakhala bata.
2. Mumadzimana mphamvu
Pamene mukulozera mphamvu pakulankhulana ndi mnzanu, mulibe mphamvu zokwanira zachisangalalo, kulankhulana ndi ana, zokonda ndi maubwenzi atsopano.
3. Mukukhala m’dziko lopeka
Maubwenzi atha. Zonse zomwe mumaganiza za iwo ndi chinyengo. Kuyankhulana ndi bwenzi sikudzakhala kofanana, ndipo kuti mukupitiriza izo zikusonyeza kuti mukukhala mu zenizeni zenizeni, kumene mukusangalala pamodzi. Mukufunitsitsa kukumana, komabe, kulankhulana mudziko lenileni, mumakhumudwa. Malingana ngati mukukhala m’dziko lopeka, mumadzimana moyo weniweniwo.
4. Mumalakwitsa zomwezo mobwerezabwereza.
Anthu amene sangagwirizane ndi chibwenzi chawocho amakhala amadziimba mlandu pa chilichonse. Sakhulupirira kuti kupatukana kungakhale mwayi wakukula kwaumwini. Iwo amadzidzudzula okha m’malo mosiya ubale umenewu m’mbuyomo n’kumapitiriza, kuyesetsa kuti asabwerezenso zolakwa zimene anachita.
Ngati simungathe kuvomereza kupatukana, moyo wanu umasanduka Tsiku la Groundhog. Mumadzuka tsiku ndi tsiku ndi mantha omwewo, zokhumudwitsa ndi zoneneza pa inu. Mukukakamira pachibwenzi chomwe kulibe: simungakhale ndi wakale wanu, koma simungathenso kusuntha. Mukangosiya maubwenzi akale, mudzakhala omasuka komanso odziyimira pawokha ku zowawa ndi zodandaula za dzulo.
Za Wolemba: Jill Weber ndi katswiri wazamisala komanso wolemba buku la Building Self-Esteem 5 Steps: How to Feel Good Mokwanira.