Munthu Wopanda nzeru: Kalozera Wachidule Wakuthana ndi Anthu Ovuta

Pali anthu ambiri opanda nzeru kuposa momwe zimawonekera poyang'ana koyamba. Ndipo ndi ambiri a iwo amakakamizika kumanga kulankhulana, chifukwa inu simungakhoze basi kunyalanyaza iwo kapena kuchoka ndi funde la dzanja lanu. Nazi zitsanzo zamakhalidwe osayenera a anthu omwe mumalankhula nawo tsiku lililonse:

• mnzanu amene akukukalirani kapena kukana kukambirana za vutolo
• mwana akuyesera kupeza njira yake ndi kupsa mtima;
• kholo lokalamba limene limaganiza kuti simulisamala za iye;
• mnzako amene amayesa kukudzudzulani mavuto ake.

Mark Goulston, katswiri wa zamaganizo wa ku America, wolemba mabuku otchuka okhudza kulankhulana, anapanga typology ya anthu opanda nzeru ndipo anazindikira mitundu isanu ndi inayi ya khalidwe lopanda nzeru. Malingaliro ake, amagwirizanitsidwa ndi zinthu zingapo zomwe zimafanana: zopanda nzeru, monga lamulo, sizikhala ndi chithunzi chodziwika bwino cha dziko; amanena ndi kuchita zinthu zopanda pake; amasankha zochita zomwe sizili zokomera iwo eni. Mukayesa kuwabwezeranso panjira yamisala, amakhala osapiririka. Kusemphana maganizo ndi anthu opanda nzeru sikumakula n’kukhala zionetsero zanthawi yaitali, koma zimatha nthawi zambiri komanso zotopetsa.

Mitundu isanu ndi inayi ya anthu opanda nzeru

1. Kutengeka mtima: kuyang'ana kuphulika kwa malingaliro. Amadzilola kukuwa, kumenyetsa chitseko ndikubweretsa mkhalidwe wosapiririka. Anthu amenewa ndi zosatheka kuti mtima ukhale pansi.
2. Zomveka: Kuwoneka wozizira, wotopa ndi malingaliro, kuchitira ena ulemu. Chilichonse chomwe amachiwona ngati chosamveka chimanyalanyazidwa, makamaka kuwonetsa malingaliro a munthu wina.
3. Odalira m'malingaliro: amafuna kudalira, kusuntha udindo pazochita zawo ndi zosankha zawo kwa ena, kukakamiza kudziimba mlandu, kuwonetsa kusathandiza kwawo komanso kusachita bwino. Kupempha thandizo sikusiya.
4. Mantha: kukhala mwamantha nthawi zonse. Dziko lowazungulira limawonekera kwa iwo ngati malo ankhanza pomwe aliyense amafuna kuwavulaza.
5. Wopanda chiyembekezo: Kutaya chiyembekezo. Ndiosavuta kuvulaza, kukhumudwitsa, kukhumudwitsa malingaliro awo. Kaŵirikaŵiri maganizo oipa a anthu oterowo amapatsirana.
6. Martyr: osapempha thandizo, ngakhale akufunikira kwambiri.
7. Waukali: lamulira, gonjetsa. Wokhoza kuopseza, kunyozetsa ndi kunyoza munthu kuti athe kumulamulira.
8. Dziwani Zonse: Dziwoneni okha ngati akatswiri pamutu uliwonse. Amakonda kuonetsa ena kuti ndi otukwana, kuti asakhale ndi chidaliro. Iwo amatenga udindo «kuchokera kumwamba», amatha kuchititsa manyazi, kuseka.
9. Sociopathic: kuwonetsa khalidwe la paranoid. Amafuna kuwopseza, kubisa zolinga zawo. Tili otsimikiza kuti aliyense akufuna kuyang'ana m'miyoyo yawo ndikugwiritsa ntchito zidziwitso zotsutsana nawo.

Kodi mikangano ndi ya chiyani?

Chinthu chophweka kwambiri pothana ndi zopanda pake ndikupewa mikangano mwa njira zonse, chifukwa zotsatira zabwino muzochitika zopambana ndizosatheka pano. Koma chophweka sichiri nthawi zonse chabwino.

Bambo woyambitsa mikangano, katswiri wa zachikhalidwe cha anthu wa ku America Lewis Koser anali mmodzi mwa oyamba kunena kuti mikangano ili ndi ntchito yabwino.

“Mikangano, mofanana ndi mgwirizano, ili ndi zochita za anthu. Kukangana kwina sikungakhale kosokonekera, koma kumatha kukhala gawo lofunikira pakupanga gulu komanso kukhalapo kwake kosatha, "alemba motero Kozera.

Mikangano pakati pa anthu ndi yosapeweka. Ndipo ngati sizikuthetsedwa mwalamulo, ndiye kuti zimalowa m'mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya mikangano yamkati. Mikangano yosathetsedwa imawononga kudzidalira, ndipo nthaŵi zina ngakhale lingaliro lofunikira la chisungiko.

Kupewa mikangano ndi anthu opanda nzeru ndi njira yopita kulikonse. Opanda nzeru safuna kukangana pamlingo wozindikira. Iwo, monga anthu ena onse, amafuna kuti atsimikizire kuti amvetsetsedwa, amamvedwa ndi kuganiziridwa nawo, komabe, "kugwera" chiyambi chawo chopanda nzeru, nthawi zambiri samatha mgwirizano wopindulitsa.

Kodi zomveka zimasiyana bwanji ndi zopanda nzeru?

Goulston akunena kuti mwa aliyense wa ife pali mfundo zopanda nzeru. Komabe, ubongo wa munthu wopanda nzeru umachita kukangana mosiyana pang’ono ndi ubongo wa munthu woganiza bwino. Monga maziko asayansi, wolemba amagwiritsa ntchito mtundu wautatu waubongo wopangidwa ndi katswiri wa sayansi ya ubongo Paul McClean mu 60s. Malinga ndi McClean, ubongo wa munthu umagawidwa m'magawo atatu:

• chapamwamba - neocortex, cerebral cortex yomwe imayang'anira kulingalira ndi kulingalira;
• gawo lapakati - limbic system, yomwe imayang'anira malingaliro;
• gawo la m'munsi - ubongo wa chokwawa, ndi udindo wa chibadwa kupulumuka: «nkhondo kapena kuthawa».

Kusiyanitsa pakati pa kugwira ntchito kwa ubongo wa zomveka ndi zopanda nzeru kumakhala chifukwa chakuti mu mikangano, mikhalidwe yovuta, munthu wopanda nzeru amalamulidwa ndi zigawo zapansi ndi zapakati, pamene munthu woganiza bwino akuyesera ndi mphamvu zake zonse kuti akhalebe. dera la ubongo wapamwamba. Munthu wopanda nzeru amakhala womasuka komanso wodziwa kukhala pamalo odzitchinjiriza.

Mwachitsanzo, pamene mtundu wamalingaliro ukufuula kapena kumenyetsa zitseko, zimamveka chizolowezi mkati mwa khalidwe limenelo. Mapulogalamu osazindikira amtundu wamalingaliro amamulimbikitsa kukuwa kuti amve. Ngakhale zomveka zimakhala zovuta muzochitika izi. Amaona kuti palibe njira yothetsera vutoli ndipo amadziona kuti ndi wopunthwitsa.

Momwe mungapewere zochitika zoyipa ndikukhalabe pachiyambi chomveka?

Choyamba, kumbukirani kuti cholinga cha munthu wopanda nzeru ndicho kukulowetsani m’gawo lake lachikoka. Mu "mbadwa makoma" a reptilian ndi maganizo ubongo, munthu wopanda nzeru orients yekha ngati wakhungu mu mdima. Pamene wopanda nzeru amatha kukutsogolerani ku malingaliro amphamvu, monga mkwiyo, mkwiyo, liwongo, malingaliro osalungama, ndiye chikhumbo choyamba ndi "kugunda" poyankha. Koma zimenezi n’zimene munthu wopanda nzeru amayembekezera kwa inu.

Sikoyenera, komabe, kuchitira ziwanda anthu opanda nzeru kapena kuwaona ngati magwero a zoipa. Mphamvu yomwe imawalimbikitsa kuchita zinthu mopanda nzeru ngakhalenso zowononga nthawi zambiri amakhala zolemba zachinsinsi zomwe adazilandira ali mwana. Aliyense wa ife ali ndi mapulogalamu ake. Komabe, ngati kusamvana kumapambana pazolinga, mikangano imakhala malo ovuta muzolumikizana.

Malamulo atatu otsutsana ndi munthu wopanda nzeru

Phunzitsani kudziletsa kwanu. Gawo loyamba ndi kukambirana kwamkati komwe mumadziuza nokha, "Ndikuwona zomwe zikuchitika. Akufuna kundikhumudwitsa." Mukatha kuchedwetsa zomwe mumanena kapena kuchita kwa munthu wopanda nzeru, mupume pang'ono ndikutulutsa mpweya, mwapambana chigonjetso choyamba pazachibadwa. Mwanjira imeneyi, mumayambanso kuganiza bwino.

Bwererani ku mfundo. Musalole kuti munthu wopanda nzeru akusokeretseni. Ngati luso loganiza bwino lili bwino, ndiye kuti mutha kuwongolera vutolo ndi mafunso osavuta koma ogwira mtima. Tiyerekeze kuti mukukangana ndi munthu amene akukukalirani misozi kuti: “Ndiwe munthu wotani! Wapenga ngati ukundiuza izi! Ichi ndi chiyani kwa ine! Ndachita chiyani kuti ndiyenera kuchitiridwa zinthu ngati zimenezi!” Mawu oterowo amabweretsa mosavuta kukhumudwitsa, kudziimba mlandu, kudodometsa ndi kufuna kubwezera. Ngati muvomereza chibadwa, ndiye kuti yankho lanu lidzatsogolera ku zifukwa zatsopano.

Ngati ndinu wopewa mikangano, ndiye kuti mudzafuna kusiya ndikusiya zinthu momwe zilili, kuvomereza zomwe mdani wanu wopanda nzeru akunena. Izi zimasiya zotsalira zolemera ndipo sizithetsa mkanganowo. M’malo mwake, lamulirani mkhalidwewo. Sonyezani kuti mukumumva wolankhula nanu: “Ndikuona kuti mwakhumudwa ndi mmene zinthu zilili panopa. Ndikufuna kumvetsetsa zomwe mukufuna kundiuza." Ngati munthuyo akupitirizabe kupsa mtima ndipo sakufuna kumva zimene mukunena, siyani kukambiranako pomuuza kuti mudzabweranso nthawi ina, akadzalankhula nanu modekha.

Yang'anirani mkhalidwewo. Kuti athetse mkanganowo ndikupeza njira yopulumukira, m'modzi mwa otsutsawo ayenera kukhala wokhoza kutenga ulamuliro m'manja mwawo. M'zochita, izi zikutanthauza kuti mutatha kudziwa zenizeni, mutamva woyankhulana, mukhoza kumutsogolera mwamtendere. Funsani wokambirana naye momwe amaonera kuthetsa vutolo. Amene akufunsa funso amalamulira zinthu. "Monga momwe ndikumvera, simunandimvetsere. Nanga tingatani kuti zinthu zisinthe?” Ndi funso ili, mubwezera munthu ku maphunziro oyenerera ndikumva zomwe akuyembekezera. Mwina maganizo ake sakugwirizana ndi inu, ndiyeno inu mukhoza kuika patsogolo anu. Komabe, izi ndi zabwino kuposa chowiringula kapena kuwukira.