Kumvetsetsa ndi kukhululuka: chifukwa chiyani munakunyengedwa

Kwa zaka zambiri, ndapereka uphungu kwa mabanja ambiri amene achita chigololo. Nthawi zambiri, mbali zonse ziwiri zinkavutika panthawiyi. Ndaona mobwerezabwereza kuthedwa nzeru kwakukulu ndi kupsinjika maganizo kwa anthu amene asintha. Nthawi zambiri ankavomereza kuti iwowo sankayembekezera kuti achita zimenezi ndipo sankadziwa chimene chinawachititsa kuchita zimenezi.

Othandizana nawo omwe adaperekedwa adazindikira kuti tsopano chikhulupiriro chawo mwa anthu chidawonongeka. "Dziko langa lasintha. Sindidzakhulupiriranso aliyense, ”Ndinamva mawu awa kuchokera kwa odwala onse omwe adakumana ndi kuperekedwa kwa wokondedwa.

Koma mchitidwe wanga wasonyezanso kuti ngati anthu akufuna kusunga maubwenzi ndikupatsana mwayi wachiwiri, pali pafupifupi nthawi zonse njira yotulukira. Ndipo sitepe yoyamba ndiyo kupeza ndi kukambirana chomwe chimayambitsa kusakhulupirika. Nawa ambiri mwa iwo, malinga ndi zomwe ndawonera.

1. Woyesedwa

Sikwapafupi kukana ngati mwamuna wowoneka bwino kapena wokongola nthawi zonse amakupatsani zizindikiro za chidwi. Mwina mnzanuyo wakhala akuvutitsidwa ndi munthu yemwe moyo wake umaphatikizapo zochitika zazing'ono. Anthu oterowo amakhutiritsa ludzu lawo la zosangalatsa ndipo amapeza umboni wosatsutsika wa kukongola kwawo.

Sindikuvomereza khalidweli mwanjira iliyonse, kapenanso kupeputsa kulakwa kwa gulu lachinyengo. Monga psychoanalyst, ndikungonena kuti izi ndizochitika wamba. Pali anthu omwe amatha kukana mwamtheradi kuyamikira ndi kupita patsogolo. Ndipo ena ali pachiwopsezo cha zizindikiro za chidwi. Amalowa nawo masewerawa ndi "wonyengerera" ndipo sangathe kusiya nthawi yake.

2. Mwayi womaliza

Tikamakula, m’pamenenso timayang’ana m’mbuyo n’kumadzifunsa ngati taphonya chinthu chofunika kwambiri pa moyo wathu. Kudzaza malo ena, timayamba kuyang'ana zatsopano. Kwa ena, izi ndi zosangalatsa zosangalatsa, kuyenda kapena maphunziro ena.

Ena akuyesera kudzaza mipata yokhudzana ndi kugonana. Mwachitsanzo, mkazi amene anakwatiwa msanga mwadzidzidzi amazindikira kuti sipadzakhalanso amuna ena m’moyo wake, ndipo zimenezi zimamuchititsa mantha. Koma amuna opitirira zaka 40, nthawi zambiri amagonana ndi atsikana aang'ono kuti abwererenso mmene ankamvera zaka 20 zapitazo.

3. Kudzikonda

Anthu ena amakhala ankhanza kwambiri akamakula moti amangoganiza kuti sangakwanitse kutsatira malamulowo. Sazindikira kuti kusakhulupirika kwawo kungapweteke kapena kukhumudwitsa wokondedwa wawo. Amangodziganizira okha ndi zosangalatsa zawo.

Nthawi zambiri, milandu yotere imachitika m'mabanja omwe m'modzi mwa okwatirana adachita bwino kwambiri pabizinesi kapena wapita patsogolo kwambiri muutumiki. "Kulinganiza kwa mphamvu" kwasintha kuyambira pomwe adakumana, ndipo tsopano mmodzi wa okwatiranawo akuyamba kuganiza kuti sakuyeneranso kusunga lumbiro la kukhulupirika.

4. Mavuto a ubale

Nthawi zina kubera kumaoneka ngati njira yachidule komanso yomveka yoti m’modzi athetse chibwenzi chomwe chatha. Tiyerekeze kuti okwatiranawo akhala akudzimva ngati achilendo kwa nthaŵi yaitali, alibe cholankhula ndipo sakhutitsana pabedi, koma samasudzulana chifukwa cha ana kapena pazifukwa zina.

Ndiye kusakhulupirika, kumene wokondedwayo akupeza, kumakhala njira yochotsera vutoli. Nthawi zina izi zomveka za zochitika zimachitika ngakhale mosazindikira.

5. Kuchita chinyengo ngati mankhwala ochepetsa kupsinjika maganizo

Mlandu wodziwika bwino muzochita zanga. Kuyesera kudzisangalatsa ndikuthawa chizolowezi chatsiku ndi tsiku cha "ntchito-kunyumba", m'modzi mwa okwatiranawo amayamba kukhala ndi moyo wachinsinsi.

Kufunika kobisala ndi kubisala, mauthenga aukazitape ndi mafoni usiku, chiopsezo chogwidwa ndi mantha okhudzidwa - zonsezi zimayambitsa kuthamanga kwa adrenaline, ndipo moyo umayambanso kusewera mitundu yowala. Ngakhale, m'malingaliro anga, chithandizo cha kuvutika maganizo ndi psychoanalyst pankhaniyi chidzawononga ndalama zochepa m'lingaliro lililonse la mawu.

6. Njira yokwezera kudzidalira

Ngakhale anthu odzidalira kwambiri amasangalala kupeza chitsimikiziro cha kukopa kwawo komanso kusiyanasiyana. Kotero, pambuyo pa chibwenzi chaching'ono pambali, mkazi amamva kuwonjezereka kwa nyonga, amamvetsetsa kuti akadali wokondweretsa komanso wofunika. Komabe, angakondebe mwamuna wake. Kuti izi zisachitike, yesetsani kupatsa wokondedwa wanu kuyamikira kochokera pansi pamtima nthawi zambiri, kukondwerera kupambana kwake ndi kupambana kwake.

7. Njira yochotsera chakukhosi

Tonse timakonda kukwiya komanso kukhumudwa ndi mnzathu. “Simumamvetsera zimene ndikunena,” mkaziyo akukwiya ndipo amapeza chitonthozo m’manja mwa wokondedwa wake, amene ali wokonzeka kumvetsera ndi kum’chirikiza. “Umathera nthaŵi yako yonse kwa ana, koma unandiiwala ine,” akutero mwamunayo napita kwa mbuye wake, amene angakhale naye madzulo onse.

Madandaulo ang’onoang’ono amayamba kukhala osakhutitsidwa. Ndipo iyi ndi njira yolunjika yakuti mmodzi wa okwatirana adzapita kukafunafuna chisangalalo, kumvetsetsa kapena chitonthozo pambali. Kuti mupewe izi, pangani lamulo kamodzi pa sabata, mwachitsanzo, musanagone, kukambirana momveka bwino za psychotherapeutic pamutu wakuti "Kodi ndakulakwirani / kukukhumudwitsani bwanji".