"Chiwawa ndi mkwatulo wa mphamvu"

Ku Russia, ntchito ya katswiri wa zamaganizo ilibe chilolezo. Mwachidziwitso, aliyense womaliza maphunziro apamwamba ku yunivesite akhoza kudzitcha yekha katswiri wa zamaganizo ndikugwira ntchito ndi anthu. Mwalamulo mu Russian Federation palibe chinsinsi cha katswiri wa zamaganizo, monga chinsinsi chachipatala kapena loya, palibe malamulo amodzi a makhalidwe abwino.

Mwachidziwitso masukulu osiyanasiyana a psychotherapeutic ndi njira zimapanga makomiti awoawo, koma, monga lamulo, amaphatikizapo akatswiri omwe ali ndi chikhalidwe chokhazikika, akuganizira za udindo wawo mu ntchitoyi komanso udindo wa akatswiri a maganizo m'miyoyo ya makasitomala ndi anthu.

Zomwe zachitika pomwe digiri ya sayansi ya katswiri wothandizira, kapena zaka zambiri zothandiza, kapena ntchito, ngakhale m'mayunivesite apadera a dzikolo, sizikutsimikizira wolandira chithandizo chamalingaliro kuti katswiri wa zamaganizo aziwona zomwe amakonda komanso malamulo amakhalidwe abwino.

Koma komabe, zinali zovuta kuganiza kuti kuthandiza akatswiri, akatswiri a zamaganizo, anthu omwe maganizo awo amawamvera ngati katswiri, adzagwirizana ndi mlandu wa otenga nawo mbali a ziwawa zachiwawa (mwachitsanzo, #Sindikuwopa kunena) za mabodza, demonstrativeness, chilakolako kutchuka ndi «maganizo exhibitionism». Izi zimatipangitsa kuti tisamangoganizira za kusakhalapo kwa chikhalidwe chodziwika bwino, komanso za kusowa kwa chidziwitso cha akatswiri monga chithandizo chaumwini ndi kuyang'anira.

Kodi chiyambi cha chiwawa ndi chiyani?

Chiwawa, mwatsoka, ndi chibadwidwe m'dera lililonse. Koma mmene anthu amaonera zimenezi zimasiyanasiyana. Tikukhala m'dziko lomwe liri ndi "chikhalidwe chachiwawa" cholimbikitsidwa ndi malingaliro osagwirizana pakati pa amuna ndi akazi, nthano ndi miyambo yomwe imadzudzula wozunzidwa ndi kulungamitsa amphamvu. Tikhoza kunena kuti iyi ndi chikhalidwe cha chikhalidwe cha "Stockholm syndrome" yodziwika bwino, pamene wogwiriridwayo akudziwika ndi wogwiririra, kuti asamve ngati ali pachiopsezo, kuti asakhale pakati pa omwe anganyozedwe ndi kuponderezedwa.

Malinga ndi ziwerengero, ku Russia mphindi 20 zilizonse munthu amachitiridwa nkhanza zapakhomo. Mwa milandu 10 ya nkhanza zogonana, 10-12% yokha ya ozunzidwa amapita kupolisi, ndipo apolisi mmodzi yekha mwa asanu amavomereza mawu.¹. Wogwirira chigololo kaŵirikaŵiri alibe thayo lirilonse. Ozunzidwa amakhala kwa zaka mwakachetechete ndi mwamantha.

Chiwawa sichimangokhudza thupi. Awa ndi malo omwe munthu amauza mnzake kuti: "Ndili ndi ufulu wochita nanu, ndikunyalanyaza chifuniro chanu." Uwu ndi meta-uthenga: "Sindinu aliyense, ndipo momwe mukumvera ndi zomwe mukufuna sizofunikira."

Chiwawa sichimangokhala chakuthupi (kumenyedwa), komanso maganizo (chitonzo, nkhanza zapakamwa) ndi zachuma: mwachitsanzo, ngati mumakakamiza munthu woledzera kupempha ndalama ngakhale pazinthu zofunika kwambiri.

Kugwirira chigololo kaŵirikaŵiri kumaphimbidwa ndi chophimba chachikondi, pamene wogwiriridwayo amachitiridwa chikoka cha kugonana mopambanitsa, ndipo wolakwiridwayo ali ndi chikhumbo champhamvu chodabwitsa. Koma si za chilakolako, koma za mphamvu ya munthu pa mzake. Chiwawa ndikukwaniritsa zosowa za wogwirira, mkwatulo wa mphamvu.

Chiwawa chimapangitsa kuti wozunzidwayo asakhalenso munthu. Munthu amadzimva yekha kukhala chinthu, chinthu, chinthu. Amalandidwa chifuniro chake, mphamvu yolamulira thupi lake, moyo wake. Nkhanza zimadula munthu amene wachitiridwa nkhanza padziko lapansi n’kumusiya yekha chifukwa n’zovuta kunena zinthu ngati zimenezi, koma n’zochititsa mantha kuwauza popanda kumuweruza.

Kodi katswiri wa zamaganizo angayankhe bwanji nkhani ya wozunzidwayo?

Ngati wochitiridwa chiwawa asankha kulankhula za zimene zinachitika panthaŵi ya kuikidwa kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo, ndiye kuti kudzudzula, kusakhulupirira, kapena kunena kuti: “Wandipweteka ine ndi nkhani yako” kuli upandu, chifukwa kungadzetse chivulazo chowonjezereka. Pamene wozunzidwayo aganiza zolankhula pagulu, zomwe zimafuna kulimba mtima, ndiye kuti amamuneneza za zongopeka ndi mabodza kapena kumuopseza ndi retraumatization sizothandiza.

Nawa malingaliro ena omwe amafotokoza za luso lakatswiri wothandizira pazochitika zotere.

1. Amakhulupirira mwa wozunzidwayo. Sadzipanga kukhala katswiri pa moyo wa munthu wina, Ambuye Mulungu, wofufuza, wofunsa mafunso, ntchito yake siili pa izo. Kugwirizana ndi kumveka kwa nkhani ya wozunzidwayo ndi nkhani yofufuza, kuimbidwa mlandu ndi chitetezo. Katswiri wa zamaganizo amachita zomwe ngakhale anthu omwe ali pafupi ndi wozunzidwayo sakanachita: amakhulupirira nthawi yomweyo komanso mopanda malire. Imathandiza nthawi yomweyo komanso mopanda malire. Amapereka chithandizo - nthawi yomweyo.

2. Iye alibe mlandu. Iye si Bwalo la Inquisition Loyera, khalidwe la wozunzidwayo si ntchito yake. Zizolowezi zake, zisankho za moyo wake, kavalidwe ndi kusankha mabwenzi sizili ntchito yake. Ntchito yake ndi kuthandiza. Katswiri wa zamaganizo sayenera kuulutsa kwa wozunzidwayo: "ali ndi mlandu."

3. Sachita mantha. Musabise mutu wanu mumchenga. Sichiteteza chithunzi chake cha "dziko lolungama", kudzudzula ndikunyoza wozunzidwa ndi zomwe zidamuchitikira. Komanso sagwera m’mavuto ake, chifukwa wofuna chithandizoyo ayenera kuti wakumana kale ndi munthu wina wamkulu wopanda chochita amene anachita mantha kwambiri ndi zimene anamva moti anasankha kusakhulupirira.

4. Amalemekeza zimene wozunzidwayo wasankha polankhula. Sauza wozunzidwayo kuti nkhani yake ndi yonyansa kwambiri kotero kuti ali ndi ufulu womveka pokhapokha ngati ali ndi vuto la ofesi yachinsinsi. Samusankhe kuti angawonjezere bwanji kupwetekedwa mtima kwake polankhula za izo. Sizimapangitsa wozunzidwayo kukhala ndi udindo wokhumudwitsa ena omwe angavutike kapena kumva kapena kuwerenga nkhani yake. Izi zidamuwopsyeza kale womugwiririra. Izi ndi mfundo yakuti iye adzataya ulemu wa ena ngati anena. Kapena kuwapweteka.

5. Sayamikira kukula kwa kuvutika kwa wozunzidwayo. Kuopsa kwa kumenyedwa kapena kuchuluka kwa zochitika zachiwawa ndizoyenera kwa wofufuzayo. Kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo, zokumana nazo zokha za wozunzidwayo, kuwunika kwake, ndizofunikira.

6. Sayitana kuvutitsidwa ndi nkhanza zapakhomo m'dzina la zikhulupiriro zachipembedzo kapena lingaliro la kusunga banja, sizimakakamiza chifuniro chake ndipo sapereka malangizo, omwe alibe chifukwa, koma wochitiridwa nkhanza.

7. Samapereka maphikidwe amomwe mungapewere chiwawa. Sichimakhutiritsa chidwi chake chachabechabe mwa kupeza zidziwitso zosafunikira kwenikweni kuti zimuthandize. Sapatsa wozunzidwayo kuti afotokoze khalidwe lake mpaka mafupa, kuti izi zisamuchitikirenso. Sichimalimbikitsa wozunzidwayo ndi lingalirolo ndipo sichichirikiza zoterozo, ngati wozunzidwayo ali nazo, kuti khalidwe la wogwiririra limadalira iye.

Sichimatchula za ubwana wake wovuta kapena gulu losawoneka bwino lauzimu. Pa zofooka za maphunziro kapena chikoka choipa cha chilengedwe. Wochitiridwa nkhanza sayenera kukhala ndi udindo womuchitira nkhanzayo. Pali njira imodzi yokha yopewera chiwawa: kuletsa wogwirirayo mwiniwake.

8. Amakumbukira zomwe ntchitoyo imamukakamiza kuchita. Amayembekezeredwa kuti athandizire komanso kukhala ndi chidziwitso chaukadaulo. Amamvetsetsa kuti mawu ake, omwe sanalankhulidwe m'makoma a ofesiyo, koma m'malo a anthu onse, amakhudza onse omwe akuzunzidwa ndi chiwawa komanso omwe akufuna kutseka maso awo, amatseka makutu awo ndikukhulupirira kuti ozunzidwawo adapanga zonsezi, kuti iwo eni ali ndi mlandu.

Ngati psychotherapist amadzilola yekha kutenga udindo "wodziimba mlandu", amaphwanya malamulo a makhalidwe abwino. Ngati psychotherapist adzigwira pa mfundo imodzi pamwambapa, amafunikira chithandizo chaumwini ndi / kapena kuyang'aniridwa. Komanso, ngati izi zichitika, zimanyoza akatswiri onse amaganizo ndikuwononga maziko a ntchitoyo. Ichi ndi chinachake chimene sichiyenera kukhala.

¹ Zambiri kuchokera ku Independent Charitable Center for Assistance for Survivors of Violence "Sisters", sisters-help.ru.