Psychology

Tonse ndife osiyana, koma, tikukhala pafupi ndi mnzathu, timasinthasintha ndikulolerana wina ndi mnzake. Kodi mungamve bwanji zomwe wokondedwa wanu amafunikira ndikupeza mgwirizano muubwenzi? Timapereka ntchito zinayi zamasewera zomwe zingakuthandizeni kupeza ubale wanu ndi mnzanu ndikukhala limodzi mosangalala mpaka kalekale.

Maubwenzi ndi ntchito. Koma mukhoza kuzipangitsa kukhala zosavuta komanso zosangalatsa. Akatswiri a zamaganizo Anne Sauzed-Lagarde ndi Jean-Paul Sauzed amapereka masewera olimbitsa thupi kuti mudziwane ndi kumvetsetsana bwino.

Nambala yolimbitsa thupi 1. Mtunda wolondola

Ntchito ndikuwona mtunda womwe uli woyenera kwambiri kwa aliyense wa okondedwa komanso banja lonse.

  • Imani mobwerera kumbuyo ndi mnzanu. Pumulani ndi kugonjera ku chikhumbo chofuna kuyenda momasuka. Kodi «kuvina» chidzachitika pakati panu? Kodi munthu amapitiliza bwanji gululi ndi mnzake? Kodi mfundo zothandizira zili kuti, ndipo nchiyani, mosiyana, chikuwopseza kugwa?
  • Imani moyang'anizana ndi maso ndi miyendo khumi motalikirana. Muzisinthana kuyandikira mnzanu mwakachetechete. Yendani pang'onopang'ono kuti mufike mtunda woyenera pamene muli pafupi kwambiri. Nthawi zina, sitepe yaing'ono kwambiri kutsogolo kapena kumbuyo ndi yokwanira kumva mtunda umene kuyandikira kumakhala kolemetsa, ndi mosemphanitsa: nthawi yomwe mtunda umakulolani kuti mumve kupatukana kwanu.
  • Chitani masewera olimbitsa thupi omwewo, koma nthawi ino onse asunthirana wina ndi mnzake, kuyesa kumva mtunda woyenera mu awiri anu ndikukumbukira kuti mtunda uwu umasonyeza dziko lanu ndendende "pano ndi tsopano".

Ntchito nambala 2. Mzere wa moyo wa awiri

Pa pepala lalikulu, jambulani, mmodzimmodzi, mzere wa moyo wa banja lanu. Ganizirani za mawonekedwe omwe mukupereka mzerewu.

Imayambira pati ndipo imathera kuti?

Lembani pamwamba pa mzerewu zochitika zomwe zidachitika m'mbiri ya banja lanu. Mukhozanso kugwiritsa ntchito chithunzi, liwu, kadontho ka mtundu kuimira mfundo zosiyanasiyana zimene mukuona kuti zatsogolera (kapena kusokoneza) moyo wanu pamodzi.

Kenako khalani ndi nthawi yofananiza moyo wa banja lanu womwe mudajambulira padera, ndipo yesani kujambula mzerewu pamodzi.

Ntchito nambala 3. Banja langwiro

Kodi banja lanu loyenera ndi liti? Ndani kwa inu omwe ali pafupi kapena m'dera lanu amakhala ngati chitsanzo cha banja lopambana? Kodi mungakonde kukhala otani?

Paziwirizi, lembani pa pepala zinthu zisanu zomwe mumakonda kapena zisanu zomwe simukuzikonda. Tengani nthawi yolankhulana ndi mnzanu kuti mugwiritse ntchito chitsanzochi (kapena chotsitsa). Ndipo onani momwe mungakwaniritsire kugwirizana.

Ntchito nambala 4. Kuyenda mwakhungu

Mmodzi mwa ogwirizanawo waphimbidwa m’maso. Amalola wachiwiri kuti apite naye kukayenda m'munda kapena kuzungulira nyumba. Wotsogolera angapereke ntchito zotsatila kuti azindikire (kukhudza zomera, zinthu) kapena kuyenda (kukwera masitepe, kuthamanga, kudumpha, kuzizira m'malo). Perekani nthawi yofanana kwa aliyense pa udindo wa otsogolera, mphindi 20 ndi yabwino. Ndikoyenera kuchita izi panja.

Pamapeto pa phunziroli, onetsetsani kuti mwalankhula zomwe aliyense wa inu wakumana nazo ndi kumva. Iyi ndi ntchito yodalira mnzanu, komanso pa lingaliro lathu la zomwe winayo akuyembekezera kwa ife kapena zomwe amakonda. Ndipo pomaliza, iyi ndi nthawi yoti mudziwe malingaliro omwe muli nawo okhudza mnzanu: "Mwamuna wanga ndi wamphamvu, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti ndimuthamangitsa kapena kudutsa tchire." Ngakhale kwenikweni mwamunayo amachita mantha, ndipo amavutika ...

Zochita izi zimaperekedwa ndi psychoanalysts Anne Sauzed-Lagarde ndi Jean-Paul Sauzed m'buku la «Creating a Lasting Couple» (A. Sauzède-Lagarde, J.-P. Sauzède «Créer un couple durable», InterÉditions, 2011).

Siyani Mumakonda