Amagawana makhalidwe ndi makhalidwe ofanana. Psychotherapist Lynn Azpeisha akupereka kuti adziwe mndandanda wazinthuzi ndikumvetsetsa ngati tili nazo.
Funso loyamba lomwe akuluakulu aluso amandifunsa akabwera ku maphunziro kapena psychotherapy ndi, "Mukudziwa bwanji kuti ndili ndi mphatso?"
Choyamba, ndimafotokoza kuti ndikungowona, ndikulankhula za zomwe ndikuwona. Ndiye-chifukwa ndikudziwa kuti akuluakulu omwe ali ndi mphatso amafunika kudziwerengera okha-ndimawapatsa mndandanda wa makhalidwe, ndikuwafunsa kuti awerenge ndikulingalira ngati akudzizindikira okha m'mafotokozedwe awa. Kenako timayamba kugwira ntchito.
Pali mindandanda yambiri yotereyi, koma ndidapanga iyi kuti ipeze yankho lathunthu ku funso lalikulu, lomwe limatsegula chitseko cha njira yatsopano yodziwira nokha komanso dziko lonse lapansi: kodi ndinu munthu wamphatso?
Werengani mndandandawu ndikusankha nokha ngati muli ndi makhalidwe awa.
Kotero, akuluakulu amphatso:
1. Wosiyana mwanzeru ndi ena. Lingaliro lawo ndi lapadziko lonse lapansi, lokonzedwa bwino, ali ndi luso lotha kuganiza mozama ndikuwona zochitika zovuta m'dziko lowazungulira.
2. Amasiyanitsidwa ndi kuwonjezereka kwa luso la kuzindikira kukongola, kumva mozama kulemera kwa mitundu ya dziko lapansi ndikuwona mgwirizano mu ubale wa anthu, chilengedwe, ndi zolemba.
Kondani nthabwala zosawoneka bwino, zonyoza, kusewera mawu. Nthabwala za anthu amphatso sizimveka kawirikawiri ndi omvera.
3. Mumakonda kusinthana malingaliro ndi akulu ena omwe ali ndi mphatso. Anthu ambiri amakonda kukambirana mwanzeru.
4. Kukhala ndi chosowa chamkati choti akwaniritse zomwe akuyembekezera. Amadziona kukhala olakwa akalephera kukwaniritsa zolinga zawo.
5. Amakhala ndi nthabwala zapadera: amakonda nthabwala zosawoneka bwino, zonyoza, zopeka. Nthabwala za anthu amphatso sizimveka kawirikawiri ndi omvera.
6. Nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi malingaliro amphamvu. Nkovuta kwa iwo kumvetsetsa khalidwe losagwirizana ndi lachifupi la ena. Kupusa, kusaona mtima ndi kuopsa kwa zochita zambiri zimaonekera kwa iwo.
7. Atha kulosera zotsatira za zochita, kumvetsetsa zomwe zimayambitsa ndi zotsatira za ubale, ndi kuyembekezera mavuto omwe angabwere.
8. Ndizovuta kusankha zochita zowopsa, chifukwa amadziwa kuopsa kwake. Nthawi zambiri amafunikira nthawi yochulukirapo kuti asankhe zochita.
9. Nthawi zambiri amadzipangira njira zawo zodziwira ndikumvetsetsa zenizeni, zomwe zingayambitse mikangano ndi omwe sagwiritsa ntchito njirazi kapena sakuzimvetsa.
10. Amakhala ndi nkhaŵa, kusakhutira ndi iwo eni, amayesetsa kukwaniritsa zosoŵa zawo.
Ali ndi abwenzi ochepa, koma maubwenzi awa amatanthauza zambiri kwa iwo.
11. Amakhala ndi vuto loyang'ana pa chinthu chimodzi: ali ndi luso lambiri m'madera osiyanasiyana, ndipo kulikonse amafuna kuti apambane.
12. Nthawi zambiri mumakumana ndi kupsinjika kwakukulu kwa mphamvu zakulenga. Talente ndi kuyendetsa, kukakamizidwa, kufunikira kochitapo kanthu. Zimalimbikitsa kusintha kwa ndege zanzeru, zopanga komanso zakuthupi. Chifukwa chake ndikufunika kumvetsetsa momwe dziko lathu limagwirira ntchito ndikupanga lanu.
13. Amafuna nthawi yokonza moyo wawo wamkati ndikudzimvetsetsa okha. Kufotokozera malingaliro ndi malingaliro si njira yofulumira, kumafuna kulingalira mozama, kukhala payekha komanso mwayi wolota.
14. Amasamalidwa bwino ndi omwe ali ndi zofuna zawo.
15. Ali ndi abwenzi ocheperako, koma maubwenzi amenewa ndi ofunika kwambiri kwa iwo.
16. Onetsani kuganiza kodziimira, musamangomvera zosankha za anthu apamwamba. Amagwirizana bwino kwambiri ndi anthu omwe mamembala awo amatenga nawo mbali pa moyo wa anthu mofanana, ndipo amagwirizana bwino ndi omwe amavomereza udindo wawo ndi zatsopano.
17. Kutsatira malamulo okhwima a makhalidwe abwino, gwiritsani ntchito luso lawo, kudzoza ndi chidziwitso kuti dziko likhale malo abwino.
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