Azimayi ena amapempha chikhululukiro kaŵirikaŵiri kotero kuti ena samamasuka. Chifukwa chiyani amachita izi: mwaulemu kapena kudziimba mlandu nthawi zonse? Zifukwa za khalidweli ndi zosiyana, koma mulimonsemo, m'pofunika kuchotsa izo, anatero katswiri wa zamaganizo Harriet Lerner.
"Simukudziwa kuti ndili ndi mnzanga! Ndikumva chisoni kuti sindinalembe pa chojambulira, akutero mphwake wa Amy. “Nthawi zonse amapepesa chifukwa cha zinthu zachabechabe zimene zilibe vuto ngakhale pang’ono. Sizingatheke kulankhula naye, chifukwa pamene muyenera kubwereza mosalekeza: "Chabwino, inu, zonse ziri mu dongosolo!" Umayiwala zomwe umafuna kunena.
Ndikuyimira bwino kwambiri. Ndili ndi mnzanga yemwe ndi waulemu komanso wosakhwima moti akanathyoka chipumi. Posachedwapa, tinali kupita ku kampani ina yaing’ono m’lesitilanti, ndipo pamene woperekera zakudyayo analamula, anakhoza kupepesa kanayi kuti: “Pepani, kodi munkafuna kukhala pafupi ndi zenera? Pepani ndakusokonezani. Chonde pitilizani. Kodi ndatenga menyu yanu? Sindili bwino, pepani. Pepani, mufuna kuyitanitsa zina?
Timayenda panjira yopapatiza ndi m'chiuno nthawi zonse kugundana, ndipo iye kachiwiri - «pepani, pepani,» ngakhale ine makamaka kukankhira chifukwa ndine wosokonekera. Ndikukhulupirira kuti tsiku lina ndikamugwetsa pansi, adzadzuka ndikuti, "Pepani, wokondedwa!"
Ndikuvomereza kuti zimenezi zimandikwiyitsa, popeza ndinakulira ku Brooklyn komwe kunali anthu ambiri, ndipo iye anakulira chakum’mwera, kumene amakhulupirira kuti mkazi weniweni ayenera kusiya theka la chakudya m’mbale yake. Kupepesa kwake kulikonse kumamveka mwaulemu kwambiri moti simukufuna kuganiza kuti anamaliza sukulu ya makhalidwe abwino. Mwinamwake wina amasangalatsidwa ndi ulemu woyengedwa woterewu, koma, mwa lingaliro langa, izi ndizochuluka kwambiri.
Ndizovuta kudziwa zomwe mukufuna pamene pempho lililonse limabwera ndikupepesa.
Kodi chizolowezi chopepesa chimachokera kuti? Akazi a m'badwo wanga amakonda kudziimba mlandu ngati mwadzidzidzi sanasangalatse wina. Ndife okonzeka kuyankha chilichonse padziko lapansi, ngakhale nyengo yoipa. Monga momwe woseŵera wanthabwala Amy Poehler ananenera, “Zimatenga zaka zambiri kuti mkazi aphunzire kudzimva wolakwa.”
Ndakhala ndikuchita nawo nkhani yopepesa kwa zaka zoposa khumi, ndipo ndinganene kuti pali zifukwa zenizeni zokhalira wabwino mopambanitsa. Kungakhale kusonyeza kudziona ngati wosafunika, kudziona ngati uli ndi udindo mopambanitsa, kufunitsitsa kupeŵa kudzudzulidwa kapena kudzudzulidwa, nthaŵi zambiri popanda chifukwa chilichonse. Nthawi zina ichi ndi chikhumbo chofuna kusangalatsa ndi kukondweretsa, manyazi akale kapena kuyesa kutsindika makhalidwe abwino.
Komano, zopanda malire «pepani» akhoza mwangwiro reflex - otchedwa wapakamwa tic, amene anayamba mwamanyazi msungwana ndipo pang'onopang'ono anayamba involuntary «hiccups».
Kuti mukonze chinachake, simuyenera kudziwa chifukwa chake chinasweka. Ngati mukupepesa njira iliyonse, chepetsani. Ngati mwaiwala kubweza bokosi la nkhomaliro la mnzanu, zili bwino, musamupemphe kuti akukhululukireni monga momwe munathamangitsira kamwana kake. Kukoma kwambiri kumathamangitsa ndikusokoneza kulumikizana kwabwinobwino. Posakhalitsa, adzayamba kukwiyitsa anthu omwe amawadziwa, ndipo kawirikawiri zimakhala zovuta kumvetsa zomwe mukufuna ngati pempho lililonse likugwirizana ndi kupepesa.
N’zoona kuti munthu ayenera kupempha chikhululukiro kuchokera pansi pa mtima. Koma ulemu ukayamba kukhala wonyada, umawoneka womvetsa chisoni kwa akazi ndi amuna.
Wolemba - Harriet Lerner, katswiri wa zamaganizo, katswiri wa zamaganizo, katswiri wa maganizo a amayi ndi ubale wa banja, wolemba mabuku "Dance of Anger", "It's Complicated. Momwe Mungasungire Ubale Mukakwiya, Mwakwiyira, Kapena Wosimidwa» ndi ena.